Has a mobile phone grafted to his left ear lobe

Invented post it notes

What about that shoplifting charge?(allegedly)

 

My mate's bird works in Do-it-All and she told me that the manager still won't lift the ban till 2008.

 

The alleged offence took place in B&Q on Crompton Way, myself and FAC51b were working at Do-It-All at the time so FACT, ITK etc.

 

Tell your mate that if his bird is lying about this then what else is she lying about?

If you measure around Gartside's waist it's exactly the same as Sam's height.

He is The Stig off Top Gear

still has a milk round in horwich

Sams shirt was used in Ellen Mcarthurs boat as one of the sails

is the love child of margaret thatcher and saddam

He was spotted today on the A1 near Scotch Corner  

 

he was actually spotted sitting in a corner of a pub drinking scotch, and A1 were on the jukebox

 

see how these rumours start?

souness was spotted today on the A1 near Scotch Corner :-({|=

he takes bites out of pint pots as a way of scaring the shit out of prima-donnas.

He is the Patron Saint of Turkmenistan

his blood is made of beryllium and does not clot unless he wees on the wound

his blood is made of beryllium and does not clot unless he wees on the wound

 

That's not a rumour, it's actually true.

Mother Theresa told me that after I shot Gianni Versace.

He used to be married to Rita Fairclough.

He can often be seen incognito at half time queing up for a pint and a pie in the East Stand Lower

What about that shoplifting charge?(allegedly)

 

My mate's bird works in Do-it-All and she told me that the manager still won't lift the ban till 2008.

 

The alleged offence took place in B&Q on Crompton Way, myself and FAC51b were working at Do-It-All at the time so FACT, ITK etc.

 

Tell your mate that if his bird is lying about this then what else is she lying about?

 

 

Feck me! There must be over 30 odd post so far to this point and the only person accused of lying is me mate's bird. These are very worrying times for Big Sam if all the others have a ring of truth to them.

Are you having at it away with your mates bird? You don't stop talking about her.

He once got a taxi back from White Hart Lane to his home in Bromley Cross.... and did a runner without paying the fare. FACT. ITK.

The undersoil heating doesn't work as they've got rid of it to have an underground lab where BWFC doctors are working around the clock trying to clone 2 new Sam's from strands of his discarded moustache.

 

Clone1 is sent to Newcastle to manage them.

 

Clone1 will be implanted with the cerebral capacity of Phil Neal (in the body of SA) - again taken (and frozen since the 80's) from when one of his pubic hairs was found by Bolton's kit cleaner in the jockstrap of (the real) Julian Darby. Therefore sending the barcodes into a spiral of relegation.

 

Clone2 is only grown to the age of 23 and joins Bolton as SA's long lost son Cleetus. Cleetus is to form an all-conquering central defensive partnership with Taliban and following a successful career the pair are being moulded for tag-team wrestling.

 

Meanwhile the real SA will be kept as secret BWFC Manager - utilising his earpiece to direct the team from his secret hideout on the top of the transmission antenna on Winter Hill.

The undersoil heating doesn't work as they've got rid of it to have an underground lab where BWFC doctors are working around the clock trying to clone 2 new Sam's from strands of his discarded moustache.

 

Clone1 is sent to Newcastle to manage them.

 

Clone1 will be implanted with the cerebral capacity of Phil Neal (in the body of SA) - again taken (and frozen since the 80's) from when one of his pubic hairs was found by Bolton's kit cleaner in the jockstrap of (the real) Julian Darby. Therefore sending the barcodes into a spiral of relegation.

 

Clone2 is only grown to the age of 23 and joins Bolton as SA's long lost son Cleetus. Cleetus is to form an all-conquering central defensive partnership with Taliban and following a successful career the pair are being moulded for tag-team wrestling.

 

Meanwhile the real SA will be kept as secret BWFC Manager - utilising his earpiece to direct the team from his secret hideout on the top of the transmission antenna on Winter Hill.

 

Ha ha! Beltin!

I dont know where you think them up!

Was seperated at birth. His twin went on to become a coach driver in Bulgaria.

Are you having at it away with your mates bird? You don't stop talking about her.

 

Nope.....just yours. :D/

The Stig one is a Bextor.

Are you having at it away with your mates bird? You don't stop talking about her.

 

Nope.....just yours. :D/

 

Thought as much, she's been smiling recently, most out of character.