Fash in the Attic.

 

Old people desperate for cash to spend on heating look for family heirlooms and find John Fashanu living in their attic.

 

Awooga.

 

Dancing With Stars In Their Eyes

 

Where the couples go binge drinking in various city centres on Friday/Saturday nights, get into a fight, and then get voted in/out by the baying crowds in Ben Sherman shirts/lates from New Look.

 

Ramsays Kitchen Nightmare on Elm Street

 

Find a restaurant on Elm Street (gotta be one somewhere). Gordon has to cook wearing a blindfold while anybody with a spare fiver can wear Freddie Kruger style slashing gloves and set about the stupid cvnt for ten minutes.

 

Wife Swap Shop

 

Hosted by Noel Edmonds. Reality TV meets suburban swinging. Viewers get to auction their own wives and bid on others. Then we all watch the hilarity that ensues.

 

One Man and his Ross Kemp's Ultimate Gangs

 

Blue Peter Kay

 

Ultimate Shed Makeover Challenge on Ice with Sarah Green

 

 

Camberwick Green Room

 

 

Friday Night with Jonathan King

Supermarket Sooty and Sweep

Dale Winton inserts his hand up the backsides of the lovable glove puppets, whilst beating himself off in Aldi

Simply Red Dwarf

 

Iconic Ginger Manc singer is propelled into space with hilarious consequences

 

G-Had TV

 

Ben Shepherd reports on the latest fatwahs issued by the mullahs of Al Qaeda

Britain's Got Talibans

 

Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan attempt to find the best Amateur terrorist to perform for the Queen.

Scooby Jew

 

Israeli cartoon about a fussy-eating detective dog, who won't work Saturdays

Antique Road 'Ho - Veteran travelling prostitutes of America share their experiences

Edited September 11, 200817 yr by Maggie Tate

Dungeons & Dragons Den

5 wealthy people are transported to a mystical land, where they pour scorn on the local business folk

 

Rent-a-Goat

Following the lives of Timothy Claypole, Hazel McWitch, Nadia Popov and Widders, as they try to start up a caprine escort service

Shagpuss

 

Documentary about a Blackpool man whose feline fetish has left him with some bizarre penile diseases.

 

FingerBobs

Members of the public compete for the opportunity to insert their digits into Messrs Carolgees, Holness and Dylan

 

Postman Pat Butcher

The beautiful Pam St Clements delivers parcels to the residents of Greendale

Supermarket Sooty and Sweep

Dale Winton inserts his hand up the backsides of the lovable glove puppets, whilst beating himself off in Aldi

nearly a brew on screen moment then.

 

Best thread ever this!

Fireman Sam Allardyce

 

The adventures of a portly media whore struggling to douse the flames from a pile of burning brown envelopes.

How To Look Good Nuked - Oriental fudge packer Gok Wan tours the world looking for victims of nuclear warfare, whom he then gets to strip for the camera.

Edited September 11, 200817 yr by Electric Gretar

Screwfix Football Masters of the Universe

 

Ageing ex-professional footballers get to play a death match against He-Man

Drop the Dead Don Quixote

 

A middle aged Spanish knight goes on the rampage through the offices of a TV news Company

The Sweeney Todd - Feature length special with Regan and Carter scouring the streets of London for a murderous barber

Muffin The Drugs Mule

Annette Mills trys to bring ?10K worth of Cocaine into the country, from various locations around the world, stuffed into her wooden puppet.

Po' Selecta - The former Teletubby stalks and terrorises various B list celebrities with hilarious consequences

The Royle Family Fortunes

 

Sub-working class Wythenshawe family takes on ex-Man City manager Joe and his relatives in a game show where they play for BIG MONEY. Well, ?5000 anyway. Hosted by Vernon Kay

Gok Wan Flew over the Cuckoos Nest

Fly on the wall documentary, where our favourite Oriental faggot is locked up in a lunatic asylum. This week, the patients are deprived of their medication and armed with sharp pointy sticks and mallets.

I don't think you've quite got the hang of this.

 

Shhhh...I couldn'think of owt funny

That Mitchell and Webb Look North West

 

A frivolous review of Lancashire current affairs.

Ian Walker, Texas Homecare Ranger - The ex England goalkeeper is on the lookout for criminals in a DIY superstore

Celebrity Death Match of the Day:

 

The World's leading footballers go head-to-head in a series of brutal cage fights.

Beverley Hillbillies 90210

 

Jethro gets in a threesome with Brandon and Brenda and Grandma gets all inappropriate with Dylan in the Peach Pit kitchen.

Freddie Starr's In Their Eyes - Documentary following the hamster eaters pursuit in a new career as an Optician