bolty58

Squash Pumpkin Two vegetables they love down here. The texture of pre chewed mushy cardboard and fooking tasteless.

Be Off Lancashire Lolita Or Casino Kills Similar (by locking this thread)

Not if tha fancies a tit w@nk and a bacon butty for breakfast it isn't.

Why the fook would anybody want hairy knees?

Aye, Sinus Leakage Ectoplasmic Eye Pus

Probably, if only for the opportunity to jiggle them babies for half an hour. Most likely they'll have reached somewhere south of the map of Tasmania by now though

When he said 'Fat Stricker', I thought he meant Erika Roe. Who remembers 'er then?

Frighteningly accurate apart from the poncey pink tie. Change that to BWFC navy blue and you have me to a tee

.....and she's asked to come and stay in my spare room

Why didn't you sadistic gits give this thread the title 'Torture for Bolty' You may laugh but I maintain sanity by cooking up large vats of mushy peas about once a fortneet and I also bake (me, yes me!) Lancashire Parkin with a good smattering of medium oatmeal. Missus half eye-tie so, if I want this kind of stuff, I have to do it misen. You will not be surprised to learn that I have converted all sorts of nationalities into loving proper scran (including Southerners - one a good mate of mine from Bermondsey).

.......and in the posts above, proof positive of Englands greatest strength. They will never break our spirit.

Bugger - thought you'd have bitten

The crucial part in all of that is the "IMO". Makes it all a worthless read really

Bloody hell Pablo. Now I understand how you became an Evertonian. Masochistic or numb as a p1ss stone. Which one is it?

We'll be back. We will never surrender.

A Trinidadian fooker who lived next door to me until 2 years ago. Spongebob Squarepants Gabriel Kent from The Bill (we are a few years behind - honest).

An independent England with an outpost called Western Australia

Must say CW, I am with you on that one. Nanny states and the politically correct get right up my nose too. The arrogant c0cks usually preach one thing but practice another. It's just on the subject of smoking I agree with them. All English people should be discouraged from smoking but the Irish, Welsh and Scots should be encouraged to redouble their smoking habits to make up any revenue shortfall from a healthier England

You lot have no idea of the strength I get from your good wishes. I have been bombarded with SMS messages and calls today from fooktards I haven't heard from in 2 years. Funny thing is - most of em have foreign heritage (Italian; Trindadian; Scottish - predictable etc.). Maintaining a Boltonian stiff upper lip. For example, the Trinidadian Aussie sent me an SMS today. It said precisely "What a team :-)" I went back with "Thank you. We do need to beat West Ham this weekend to get up towards the European qualification places though" No reply. 1-0. The thing they just do not get is how the England supporters can keep supporting to the bitter end; even when defeat is inevitable. I assure you, they would run for cover as soon as it seemed they may lose. Worst fcuking losers in the world, Australians (also the biggest gloaters when they win). Soon Warne and McGrath will be gone. We may be bowed but we will never be defeated. England Forever. Forever England. Why thank you Carlos. Remind me to chuck in for thee in thy hour of need

Haha! The biter bit!!! Missed that fooker.

Disagree mate. Other standard arguments from smokers over the years like "I might get hit by a bus tomorrow" blah, blah etc. What about all the other poor coonts who have to breathe the sh1t in? Drinking is different. Unless you turn into a nowty coont and want to knock 7 bells out of some other fecker, how does your drinking affect the health of others? The 'poorest' angle can be countered too. My aunt worked for Imperial Tobacco at a very high level (flash London office in a high rise; multi million pound estate in Amersham; toured the world flying Concorde where possible; E type Jag V12; 5 star existence all the way). Died at 52 years old, riddled with tumours due to all the free cancer sticks which came with the job. I have lost count of the relatives, friends and workmates who, as former heavy smokers, have become the most violent anti smokers at the news they have some form of the big C. Only heard similar story from sister in law in Bolton last week. 50 a day down to zero and forced husband to quit similar habit after getting the dreaded news.

Congrats mate - hope yer moving for a big pay rise and more net access!

Balti Wanderers could work?

Oi, Pabbers - stop talking all this sense. Yer twisting me melons.

Seconded Hughesy - can't be arsed.