I've got this new woman on the go who's into sending filthy messages.

 

Got one last night that said "id like u to f**k me hard and fast while u finger me and lick my p***y. u?"

 

First thing I thought was 'how is that physically possible?'. And then I felt under pressure to reply with something equally as filthy, so i did, and felt ashamed as soon as I'd sent it.

 

I'm not a prude or anything, far from it, but putting these things into words is awkward. Is there some sort of protocol for these things?

She might've meant finger up the bum and presumed you knew she meant that.

Do you always pull mucky uns as the last was, wasn't she?

She might've meant finger up the bum and presumed you knew she meant that.

Do you always pull mucky uns as the last was, wasn't she?

 

What about the licking bit though? It'd take a chinese state circus performer to pull that one off.

 

And no, not all the women I get are mucky. I go through a lot of women though.

What about the licking bit though? It'd take a chinese state circus performer to pull that one off.

 

And no, not all the women I get are mucky. I go through a lot of women though.

 

 

You don't have to be in the circus just double jointed - get on with it!!!!

I've got this new woman on the go who's into sending filthy messages.

 

Got one last night that said "id like u to f**k me hard and fast while u finger me and lick my p***y. u?"

 

First thing I thought was 'how is that physically possible?'. And then I felt under pressure to reply with something equally as filthy, so i did, and felt ashamed as soon as I'd sent it.

 

I'm not a prude or anything, far from it, but putting these things into words is awkward. Is there some sort of protocol for these things?

 

yes, try and send them to the right person.

What about the licking bit though? It'd take a chinese state circus performer to pull that one off.

 

And no, not all the women I get are mucky. I go through a lot of women though.

 

I'm not a prude or anything, far from it, but putting these things into words is awkward. Is there some sort of protocol for these things?

 

Send one back saying you have a headache

Firthy, stick to quality not quantity.

Don't knock it.

 

Mine are along the lines of 'ur tea is ready and ur takin the piss now'

just video it and put it on here if you're not that keen on her.

 

iam sure some people will be interested

Don't knock it.

 

Mine are along the lines of 'ur tea is ready and ur takin the piss now'

 

::::

Just text back "Who is this?"

It all got a bit more detailed last night. Rather than just saying she wants it in every possible way, she actually started describing what she's going to do step by step. Made it a bit easier, but I still felt like an idiot.

Don't knock it.

 

Mine are along the lines of 'ur tea is ready and ur takin the piss now'

 

 

I'm with Smiffs on this one, 'where are you?' seems to be the most common these days. When I'm pissed its almost a metaphysical question. Although considering I'm either at work or driving to work I don't see what the point of texing me is!

It all got a bit more detailed last night. Rather than just saying she wants it in every possible way, she actually started describing what she's going to do step by step. Made it a bit easier, but I still felt like an idiot.

 

whatever she texts, just text something ridiculous back

 

it doesn't feel as uncomfortable and she may well be up for it

 

dunno, like

 

"we'll do a 69 and whilst you munch away i'm going to stick a finger up your arse, one by one i'm going to stick as many as I can up there and see if we can go for the full plunge (make sure you've had a shit)"

 

if not, you can say she started it

 

you can't lose

I've got this new woman on the go who's into sending filthy messages.

 

Got one last night that said "id like u to f**k me hard and fast while u finger me and lick my p***y. u?"

 

First thing I thought was 'how is that physically possible?'. And then I felt under pressure to reply with something equally as filthy, so i did, and felt ashamed as soon as I'd sent it.

 

I'm not a prude or anything, far from it, but putting these things into words is awkward. Is there some sort of protocol for these things?

 

 

I would tel her that if she persists in using text speak you will not be able to put her messages on this board.

whatever she texts, just text something ridiculous back

 

it doesn't feel as uncomfortable and she may well be up for it

 

dunno, like

 

"we'll do a 69 and whilst you munch away i'm going to stick a finger up your arse, one by one i'm going to stick as many as I can up there and see if we can go for the full plunge (make sure you've had a shit)"

 

if not, you can say she started it

 

you can't lose

 

whatever she texts, just text something ridiculous back

 

it doesn't feel as uncomfortable and she may well be up for it

 

dunno, like

 

"we'll do a 69 and whilst you munch away i'm going to stick a finger up your arse, one by one i'm going to stick as many as I can up there and see if we can go for the full plunge (make sure you've had a shit)"

 

if not, you can say she started it

 

you can't lose

 

 

If I sent that to Doris she'd be convinced I'd sent it to the wrong person!

If you need lessons in filth management

 

Give me a shout, her vulva will be yawning within seconds and she'll have such a wide on, she can shove her vibrating phone up there whilst you text more filth

 

Widnes, hasn't got 17 restraining orders against him for nothing

i've sent a few to bobcat (by accident)

Widnes, hasn't got 17 restraining orders against him for nothing

 

That made me laugh because I can well imagine it.

 

Though I dont know many wimmin who would be receptive to a text asking them if you could fist them.

If you need lessons in filth management

 

Give me a shout, her vulva will be yawning within seconds and she'll have such a wide on, she can shove her vibrating phone up there whilst you text more filth

 

Widnes, hasn't got 17 restraining orders against him for nothing

 

I'm all ears....

 

Seriously need some ideas.

I'm all ears....

 

Seriously need some ideas.

I reckon your'e just showing off, trying to make people on here jealous

I've got this new woman on the go who's into sending filthy messages.

 

Same ere...

 

Got a filthy message on my phone t'other week..

 

'Pik all dogshite in the back garden up before you go out!'

Same ere...

 

Got a filthy message on my phone t'other week..

 

'Pik all dogshite in the back garden up before you go out!'

 

Good first post.

 

Back to the point, I reckon you tell her you are going to spunk all over her face.

 

Get photos and we'll grant you ITK access

Tell her what she wants to hear. She might be trying to get to your 'man' level rather than being kinky, thinking you will like it. Personaaly I think its a bit of a put off when its a starter for 10.

 

Texting back with some depraved shit wont cut the mustard early and if it does you're with a right f?ckin slut and it will end in tears. Or your mate stuck up her while your not there.

 

So tell her she's lovely, you want to hold her, kiss her, romance her, blah blah soppy old blah.

 

Wait a week or two before you text her saying you want to smash her back gates in then shoot in her mouth.

 

smiffs

read the sun problem pages