whan i was on holiday with my mum and dad and kermit (pre shaging days) was down cornwall i saw a few palmtrees and saw a sign CUL DE SAC and thought it was a forgien sign and was abrourd

i thought several meant 7.

i thought you died the second you became 100 years old

I thought you users condoms to get pregnant

I can't believe i'm admitting this, but until the age of 18 I thought that unicorns where once real and just actually just extinct

Stringe thing;

 

i thought bolton wanderers were actually by far the greatest team the world had ever seen.

I remember my dad looking very different when he went to work on a Mon morning to how he looked on a Sun morning. Also, he looked different on a Sat eve. He told me that he had different heads which of course I believed. I genuinely went looking through cupboards etc looking for these different heads. All very Worzel Gummage I know, but I did believe it ...

 

I often think of this when I see him staring back at me in the mirror on a Sunday after a particularly heavy sesh ..

I used to think Holcombe Tower etc were space rockets ready for take off.

 

Someone set me straight last week.

i always got confused, Jesus born at Christmas, died at Easter, how the fook he became a full carpenter and grow a beard in four months used to amaze me

 

SJM thick as fook

My aunty had a painting on the stairs wall, one of those laughing cavalier thingies. I was so scared his eyes were following me I'd have to hold my wees in every time we went.

I also thought Sasquatch lived up in the pine forest near my home and came out at night so always got home from playing out before sundown.

TV had a lot to answer for during my childhood.

o and how people have more then 2 kids you only have 2 balls thought 1 ball a kid

o and how people have more then 2 kids you only have 2 balls thought 1 ball a kid

 

 

hmm

I knocked around with a lad when I was a kid who apparently only had one testicle. His stepdad encouraged him to swallow a marble to get the second one ....

I couldn't walk past a dog turd without holding my breath for fear of getting the stench in my lungs.

 

I also thought all police had amazing hearing powers and detected half the crimes just by overhearing people talking about things. I think they probably had a hearing radius of a couple of miles.

 

Tooth fairies? Ah! I once found a bit of my dog's bone that had broken off. I thought it looked sufficiently like a tooth to fool the tooth fairy but, just to make sure, I checked with my dad first. He did all the stuff that dads do; he took hold, twisted it in his fingers, sniffed at it, allsorts of stuff. Eventually, he conceded that it did, indeed, look like a tooth and that I should put it under the rug to see if the tooth fairy could be fooled.

 

Next morning I rushed downstairs and peeled back the rug to find . . . a fucking washer!! My dad must have been fucking pissing himself with laughter!

 

RIP Dad, miss you pal.

You put your lost teeth under a rug?

You put your lost teeth under a rug?

 

Yes, I thought that in later years. It must have been so much easier for the; er, tooth fairy.

Stringe indeed.

Edited February 17, 201214 yr by no balls

First record I bought was by Duane Eddie and it went from 11 to 10 in the charts that week.

 

I was utterly convinced it was because I had bought one copy.

used to read the "queue this side" on bus stops as "queen this side". thought that side of the bus stop was for the queen only, and used to tell people they'd get in trouble if the police came for standing in the queens space

 

 

edit: for sense as keyboard fucked and half of letters didn't appear

Edited February 17, 201214 yr by fatolive

I used to think Canon Doran at St. Johns church in Bromley Cross was god. I couldnt get my head round why we would go on a sunday if he wasnt actually god.

 

Needless to say, I dont do church these days, its a swizz.

I used to think Canon Doran at St. Johns church in Bromley Cross was god. I couldnt get my head round why we would go on a sunday if he wasnt actually god.

 

Needless to say, I dont do church these days, its a swizz.

 

To all atheists;

 

 

How do you know that there is no God?

You put your lost teeth under a rug?

 

I thought under the fireplace rug was the usual place too...

I used to think 'TO LET' signs were advertising that empty shops, houses, mills etc. were doubling up as public conveniences.

 

One time on the old train station me and my dad were off somewhere, a load of blokes turned up dressed as Nazis (Freddie Starr style Nazis). I asked my dad why and he told me they were probably off to watch Bolton play Preston - I thought they were dressed like that out of genuine admiration for Hitler and Nazi Germany (and were probably 'hooligans' too...)

 

When I was really young and in a pushchair, mum used to tell me it was OK to put food and booze and things underneath me, in my coat and in those bags that hang off the buggy handles - it was OK because we owned a bit of Asda, Tesco or wherever we were.

Edited February 17, 201214 yr by Youri McAnespie

To all atheists;

 

 

How do you know that there is no God?

 

They don't. Atheists believe there is no God. Theists believe there is at least one God - this covers most religions. Agnostics think there could be a God, but would need proof.

Edited February 17, 201214 yr by SnoopJohnnyJohn

I also thought Sasquatch lived up in the pine forest near my home and came out at night so always got home from playing out before sundown.

TV had a lot to answer for during my childhood.

 

'The Legend of Boggy Creek'? or that footage of a bloke in a gorilla suit, stomping through a forest? I thought that was undeniable proof of Bigfoot's existence - not in any woods near us though, that was the zombies patch...

Edited February 17, 201214 yr by Youri McAnespie

They don't. Atheists believe there is no God. Theists believe there is at least one God - this covers most religions. Agnostics think there could be a God, but would need proof.

 

What about those

 

who don't care

who don't a right toss

 

 

what are they called?