Anyone else picturing Alan Partridges girlfriend, Sonya?

 

Good luck Jazza, fill your boots mate just don't go in with your eyes shut.

Jazza you crack me up

She is talking to me now and she is so excited about Scotland & I haven't even mentioned buckfast yet!!

 

Excite about Scotland? It must be rough where she lives.

 

Will we see her on the UK Border Control programme on't telly?

 

Immigartion: "What is you reason for visiting the UK?"

 

Mrs Jazza: "To see my boyfriend who I've never met?"

 

Entry to the UK refused.

Edited June 29, 201313 yr by freds dad

Excite about Scotland? It must be rough where she lives.

 

Will we see her on the UK Border Control programme on't telly?

 

Immigartion: "What is you reason for visiting the UK?"

 

Mrs Jazza: "To see my boyfriend who I've never met?"

 

Entry to the UK refused.

Those with small minds have small horizons

Hope it works out pal, you deserve a bit of good luck after all the shit you've had to put up with. 

 

 

Don't think we've long enough R but would've been nice to visit

Jazza sort yourself out man

Jazza

 

This is a disaster in the making. Proper shitstorm material.

 

If I lived in a fourth world shithole and had to strip on the Internet to get by then I'd spend 2 years working on a route out too.

 

Don't be fooled with the "paying her own way over" lark. That's a well worn confidence trick.

 

However, if you're going to do it then do it proper. Smash the fuck out of her.

 

Just for fucks sake make sure your you don't get her pregnant or leave any kind of opening for her to turn it round to uk citizenship at your expense.

 

As for your cash. For fucks sake mate tuck it away. Lock it away. Do fucking something before she spunks it away. Please. If you take no notice of anything just fucking listen for once at this bit.

Jazza

 

This is a disaster in the making. Proper shitstorm material.

 

If I lived in a fourth world shithole and had to strip on the Internet to get by then I'd spend 2 years working on a route out too.

 

Don't be fooled with the "paying her own way over" lark. That's a well worn confidence trick.

 

However, if you're going to do it then do it proper. Smash the fuck out of her.

 

Just for fucks sake make sure your you don't get her pregnant or leave any kind of opening for her to turn it round to uk citizenship at your expense.

 

As for your cash. For fucks sake mate tuck it away. Lock it away. Do fucking something before she spunks it away. Please. If you take no notice of anything just fucking listen for once at this bit.

I may be stupid... in fact I am but i'm a good judge of character I think,

 

I may well be proved wrong 

 

i won't leave myself open to be robbed though

fcuk it

 

as miss casino tells me

 

YOLO

 

while she might be the exception, she may be genuine, she may be a really nice woman

 

its probably odds against, but lifes supposed to be for living

 

just be wary

Jazza we can all see from your photos what a catch you are, and can therefore fully understand why ladies would travel over half a continent under their own steam to meet you, particularly when she has to do what she does to make ends meet.

 

Don't panic though, when she has rinsed you, you can always sell the TV rights to living or channel5

Don't think we've long enough R but would've been nice to visit

Invitation still stands, come up when you can, you should take her on a tour up the west coast, head up here then finish off in Edinburgh. 

Rules Jazza

Invitation still stands, come up when you can, you should take her on a tour up the west coast, head up here then finish off in Edinburgh. 

might do... we actually start in Edinburgh

 

only got 5 days in Scotland though, she wants to see London first for some fuckin reason

Rules Jazza

 

Would you put a pic on if it were you?

 

 

mind you'd have had more sense than tell anyone i suppose... but after 12 pints it seemed a good idea.

 

too late now though

 

she is a stunner by my standards though 

Mate you're really not selling it to us

Hope she rinses him then he might fuckin wake up

might do... we actually start in Edinburgh

 

only got 5 days in Scotland though, she wants to see London first for some fuckin reason

Don't tell me....

 

You're paying.

 

Shes coming over here, you're going to look after her and after 2 years she's not even shown you her tits?

 

Come on mate, wake up...

Would you put a pic on if it were you?

 

 

mind you'd have had more sense than tell anyone i suppose... but after 12 pints it seemed a good idea.

 

too late now though

 

she is a stunner by my standards though 

If she spends half her time on webcam with her CLOPPER out, she won't mind.

If she spends half her time on webcam with her CLOPPER out, she won't mind.

but she doesn't

 

 

don't let reading my original post stop your mind working overtime

James,

 

I originally had no words, because I didn't know what to say. I don't know you, I haven't met you yet, but you come across as a decent bloke who went out of his way to try and help a mate of mine up in Cumbria.

I'd be unhappy if she was taking you for a ride and hopefully she isn't, but I gamble/invest for a living and I reckon the odds aren't great here.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you're no oil painting and you say she's a stunner. You're possibly a great deal older than her and if she's on that website, who's to say she's not others doing the same thing or turning tricks elsewhere?

 

Sometimes, the longshots win and when they do it's fucking great, but invariably the winners are priced quite low.

 

I know you'll appreciate the analogy and I'm not being cynical at all.

 

She's coming over anyway, so you might as well RUIN her.

I appreciate how it looks ..

 

If I was in your positions I'd say the same

 

& what do you mean I'm no oil painting you cheeky cunt ...

 

I just know that I'd regret if I didn't do it... I might be a cunt... Stupid and ugly... But one thing I'm not is a bottler

 

I know you think I'm being scammed but to be honest I don't give a fuck if I am because I intend to rattle her senseless

I appreciate how it looks ..

 

If I was in your positions I'd say the same

 

& what do you mean I'm no oil painting you cheeky cunt ...

 

I just know that I'd regret if I didn't do it... I might be a cunt... Stupid and ugly... But one thing I'm not is a bottler

 

I know you think I'm being scammed but to be honest I don't give a fuck if I am because I intend to rattle her senseless

 

I don't think you're being scammed, yet.

I just want you to be wary of it happening, mate.

 

Otherwise, go for it.

Rattler her but keep your hand on your wallet

 

And passport

 

And bank details

 

And for fucks sake get off at Daubhill.

I don't think you're being scammed, yet.

I just want you to be wary of it happening, mate.

 

Otherwise, go for it.

Thanks..

 

I know a lad who has a Russian girlfriend.. He's a good Wanderers fan & they've been together for 5 years

 

So it can work

 

 

All I'm looking at now is a fun week

 

No further

Thankfully James, women aren't as shallow as us so the fact that you're a fat ugly cunt probably doesn't bother her

 

The amount of stunners I pull just because I can proves that, don't listen to any of these queers on here, get her banged, bring her to Bolton and we'll spit roast her plus I'll shag her arse if she's a man

 

Win Win