July 7, 201313 yr Me and my Mrs have just been discussing this topic and she reminded me of this..... My brother Billy had a ten foot willy He showed it to the girl next-door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And now it's only 5 foot 4 My own personal favourite was If you want to buy a car buy a Jag, There's enough room in the back for a shag, There's a biscuit tin to keep your jonnie bags in, So if you want to buy a car buy a Jag. I am still fairly amused by both of these.....
July 7, 201313 yr Arty Farty had a party, all the farts were there Tooty Fruity did a beauty & they all ran out for air.
July 7, 201313 yr Author Up above the streets and houses, Bungle flying high, Opens up his hairy ass, And shits in Geoffrey's eye.
July 7, 201313 yr Mi auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her draws.. And when she farted it departed... Down the leg of her draws... Gorilla gorilla gorilla Uuh uu uuh uu uuh uu
July 7, 201313 yr I don't know what it is that makes me pick my nose, Maybe it's the flavour of those juicy crows, But I'm gonna get one, I really am... And spread it on a butty like strawberry jam. It happens to be true, My fingernails are after you. (to the tune of Dusty Springfields 'I only want to be with you' ) Edited July 7, 201313 yr by Alf Hartigan
July 7, 201313 yr jesus christ, superstar came down from heaven on a yamaha pulled a skid, killed a kid trapped his balls in a dustbin lid
July 8, 201313 yr To the Addams Family tune The Charlton family started, When Mister Charlton farted, He farted through the keyhole, And paralysed the cat. Use the surname of person your singing it to for added excitement
July 8, 201313 yr You have a PM B.B... That's not a really shit schoolyard rhyme BTW. Edited July 8, 201313 yr by Youri McAnespie
July 8, 201313 yr He's Fat, He's Round, He bounces on the Ground... At-kIn-Serrrnn At-kin-Serrrnnnnn. (From when big fat racist Ron was Scum Manager).
July 8, 201313 yr In a German Nick, where they hang you by your dick... Then they drag through the snow 'til your balls begin to glow... And your mind goes blank 'cos yer dying for a wank. (Although I expect masturbating would be the last thing on your mind after genital torture).
July 8, 201313 yr Down to fraggle rock,grab a fraggle by its cock,swing it round and round till the bastards dead. If it doesn't die,cut its cock off with a knife. Can't remember the next bit.
July 8, 201313 yr Eenie meanie miney mo, catch a nigger by the toe... If he squeals let him go.. Eenie meanie miney mo Apologies fir racism but we knew no different then Edited July 8, 201313 yr by jazza
July 8, 201313 yr In 1986 The Queen pulled down her knicks She licked her bum And said yum yum It's better than Weetabix Classic
July 8, 201313 yr Author In 1986 The Queen pulled down her knicks She licked her bum And said yum yum It's better than Weetabix Classic At the risk of giving away my age, we used to sing the same song in 1985 and I can give you a categorical assurance that the year in which the Queen ACTUALLY pulled down her knicks was 1966. Anyway...... Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away, Kojak lost his underpants, On the M6 motorway, hey! Also, bud bud ding ding £2.99!
July 8, 201313 yr Matthew, Mark, Luke and John Went to be with nothing on In the middle of the night, Luke decided he wanted a shite What must be done, must be done Out the window popped his bum Holy Moses passing by hear a rumble in the sky ... can't remember how it ends.
July 8, 201313 yr little whittle did a pittle on the kitchen floor mrs whittle moped it up and darren did some more
July 8, 201313 yr 2468 who do we appreciate, Maaaan United, oh no, get it right we support the men in white, Boooolton Wanderers. Lets all go to Tescos, where (name) buys his best clothes nananana
July 8, 201313 yr Matthew, Mark, Luke and John Went to be with nothing on In the middle of the night, Luke decided he wanted a shite What must be done, must be done Out the window popped his bum Holy Moses passing by hear a rumble in the sky ... can't remember how it ends. Looked up too see the cause Caught the lot between his jaws
July 8, 201313 yr Matthew, Mark, Luke and John Went to be with nothing on In the middle of the night, Luke decided he wanted a shite What must be done, must be done Out the window popped his bum Holy Moses passing by hear a rumble in the sky ... can't remember how it ends. http://youtu.be/eRsvxbrk8P8
July 8, 201313 yr Semolina pudding, Green snot pie, All mixed together with a dead dogs eye, Slap it in a bucket - nice and thick, Then wash it down, With a cup of cold sick.
July 8, 201313 yr There once was a man called Keith Who pulled foreskins back with his teeth It wasn't for leisure Or even for pleasure But to get to the cheese underneath
July 8, 201313 yr There once was a man called Keith Who pulled foreskins back with his teeth It wasn't for leisure Or even for pleasure But to get to the cheese underneath That's the first one I'd not heard And it actually made me laugh out loud I'm such a child
July 8, 201313 yr Only one I remember from some random shit joke book There was an old man from Ealing Who has an extraordinary feeling The sign on the door Said don't spit on the floor So he looked up and spat on the ceiling
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