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Amateur Surgery...

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21 minutes ago, royal white said:

Not amateur surgery but an amateur surgeon. I had been really ill for a few days in Iraq with a sore arse (ended up being a perianal abscess). Got flown to the main hospital in Baghdad, lads all around me with war wounds and I had a sore arse 🤦‍♂️ Anyway at this stage I’m going in and out of consciousness, the Drs had no idea what was wrong with me so decided to take my appendix out, just Incase it was that. Which it wasn’t, and which then became infected. It’s was another 24hrs before they found the abscess. They’re not much fun! 

Had a couple of perianal abscesses. I think they’re often due to in growing arse hairs. 
 

Mate of mine died when he ignored it and just put it down to having a big spot on his arse. The spot was expected to erupt outwards like spots do. His carried on digging and ended up bursting inside his anal cavity which resulted in blood poisoning due to shit getting into the wound. He was admitted to hospital but there was nothing they could do for him.

It was a lesson to me in not “toughing  it out” and going seeing my GP each time.  Both times resulted in surgery. Last one I had my post-op dressing changes done at Bolton Blondies’ place of work. I wonder if she’s dressed my arse. 🤣

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13 minutes ago, MickyD said:

.  Both times resulted in surgery. Last one I had my post-op dressing changes done at Bolton Blondies’ place of work. I wonder if she’s dressed my arse. 🤣

you could post a picture and see if she recognises it 🙂

Although that tattoo of Derek Scott that you have on your right cheek is probably enough of a giveaway to trigger her memory

1 hour ago, Sweep said:

that should be more than adequate for the job, but I think using a bit of "no nails" would be better, as it's a lot stronger, and will dry quicker

Hippo Pro 3.

1 hour ago, Sweep said:

you could post a picture and see if she recognises it 🙂

Although that tattoo of Derek Scott that you have on your right cheek is probably enough of a giveaway to trigger her memory

If I knew how to post pictures...

 

And now you’ve guaranteed nobody teaches me.

2 hours ago, gonzo said:

Hippo Pro 3.

Was that straight to DVD?

Had loads of immunity problems over the years due to having to take imuno suppressant drugs once got an infection in a cut in my finger it swelled up with yellow puss to about the size of three fingers stuck together . Had to go and get it lanced doctor who did it  was newly qualified said it was too badly swollen to give me an anaesthetic . The Mrs heard me scream in the waiting room 😐yellow puss all over the  doc 🤢was like ghost busters 

5 hours ago, MickyD said:

Had a couple of perianal abscesses. I think they’re often due to in growing arse hairs. 
 

Mate of mine died when he ignored it and just put it down to having a big spot on his arse. The spot was expected to erupt outwards like spots do. His carried on digging and ended up bursting inside his anal cavity which resulted in blood poisoning due to shit getting into the wound. He was admitted to hospital but there was nothing they could do for him.

It was a lesson to me in not “toughing  it out” and going seeing my GP each time.  Both times resulted in surgery. Last one I had my post-op dressing changes done at Bolton Blondies’ place of work. I wonder if she’s dressed my arse. 🤣

I don't do treatment room unluckily for you. I do like a good bum abcess that needs packing. One of my favourite jobs 👍

1 hour ago, bolton_blondie said:

I don't do treatment room unluckily for you. I do like a good bum abcess that needs packing. One of my favourite jobs 👍

Did you say you’re already married?

Asking for a friend.

 

14 minutes ago, Spider said:

Did you say you’re already married?

Asking for a friend.

 

I'm not married. Don't plan on being either 😂

7 hours ago, MickyD said:

Had a couple of perianal abscesses. I think they’re often due to in growing arse hairs. .

 

I've had that twice, fucking hurts like hell when they pack it as it has to heal from the inside > out, doctor said it is a life threatening occurrence

10 hours ago, MickyD said:

Had a couple of perianal abscesses. I think they’re often due to in growing arse hairs. 
 

Mate of mine died when he ignored it and just put it down to having a big spot on his arse. The spot was expected to erupt outwards like spots do. His carried on digging and ended up bursting inside his anal cavity which resulted in blood poisoning due to shit getting into the wound. He was admitted to hospital but there was nothing they could do for him.

It was a lesson to me in not “toughing  it out” and going seeing my GP each time.  Both times resulted in surgery. Last one I had my post-op dressing changes done at Bolton Blondies’ place of work. I wonder if she’s dressed my arse. 🤣

Not pleasant are they! 
 

Mine became infected, I had to get it seen to properly at Bolton Royal when I got home, they said it was a fkin mess.

4 minutes ago, royal white said:

Not pleasant are they! 
 

Mine became infected, I had to get it seen to properly at Bolton Royal when I got home, they said it was a fkin mess.

Fucking hell

Did you sit on a landmine  or summert?

Edited by Spider

@athywhite1958& @royal white, was the Dutch geezer in charge when you had your abscesses done? He wasn’t the most gentle when he tried feeling for the inside bit of the abscess. Talk about “brace yourself, I’m coming in!”

On the positive side, he did report back that my Prostate was in fine fettle.

On a slightly serious note, us chaps are encouraged to check our walnuts for signs of any issues regularly 

Is there a technique? And what exactly should I expect to feel?

Last time a tried it I just got sidetracked by making my Johnson move around without touching it, then had a wank.

Is it supposed to feel like a golf ball?

Edited by Spider

42 minutes ago, royal white said:

Not pleasant are they! 
 

Mine became infected, I had to get it seen to properly at Bolton Royal when I got home, they said it was a fkin mess.

What are you military lot like eh

34 minutes ago, MickyD said:

@athywhite1958& @royal white, was the Dutch geezer in charge when you had your abscesses done? He wasn’t the most gentle when he tried feeling for the inside bit of the abscess. Talk about “brace yourself, I’m coming in!”

On the positive side, he did report back that my Prostate was in fine fettle.

I can’t remember who it was, but I did remember going to the clinic in Walkden for my daily cleanse/packing and the nurse asking if she could show all the other nurses my tattoos on my arse (eyes) this happened most days for a week or 2 with them all popping in and a few taking pictures (one being my mates missus) 

Exfoliate your arses lads. Stops me having to pack it with a metal probe.👍

5 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

Exfoliate your arses lads. Stops me having to pack it with a metal probe.👍

Name your price

40 minutes ago, MickyD said:

@athywhite1958& @royal white, was the Dutch geezer in charge when you had your abscesses done? He wasn’t the most gentle when he tried feeling for the inside bit of the abscess. Talk about “brace yourself, I’m coming in!”

On the positive side, he did report back that my Prostate was in fine fettle.

I had the first one done at Wigan, I went to the Walk In centre at Leigh and they said to get to Wigan Infirmary ASAP for a life threatening operation, the second time I was in Bolton, both times I was in for 2 days then the district nurse came round every day to change the dressing for a week then I had to go to my doctor's every day for it to be changed

I can't remember a Dutch geezer, it always seemed to be women

6 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

Exfoliate your arses lads. Stops me having to pack it with a metal probe.👍

I was told it was 'dried seaweed' they packed it with as it softened when moistened by bodily fluids which helped the healing process

6 minutes ago, athywhite1958 said:

I was told it was 'dried seaweed' they packed it with as it softened when moistened by bodily fluids which helped the healing process

Aquacel 👍

2 minutes ago, athywhite1958 said:

I was told it was 'dried seaweed' they packed it with as it softened when moistened by bodily fluids which helped the healing process

May have been 50 years ago but they’ve come on a bit since. From memory it was kaltostat rope they packed it with.

 

39 minutes ago, Spider said:

On a slightly serious note, us chaps are encouraged to check our walnuts for signs of any issues regularly 

Is there a technique? And what exactly should I expect to feel?

Last time a tried it I just got sidetracked by making my Johnson move around without touching it, then had a wank.

Is it supposed to feel like a golf ball?

Here’s a thing; last summer I lost the tip of my middle right finger in a lawnmower accident. One thing I’ve noticed is, throughout life you’re told to check your bollocks for any changes in shape and stuff like that. Problem is, this ability to detect changes is very reliant on your fingers remaining in-tact and the same shape. 

9 minutes ago, Spider said:

Name your price

Desperate times when I'm gonna be on mat leave soon, I will consider it. Either that or sell my used tights to perverts 👍

Had one of those arse abscesses also. Right next to the bullet hole. Didn’t realise they were so common. 

20 minutes ago, fatty said:

Had one of those arse abscesses also. Right next to the bullet hole. Didn’t realise they were so common. 

Or so dangerous. Lads, if you get one, don’t treat it like a spot on your nose, “Oh, it’ll fuck off on its own!” type of thing. Believe me, it won’t.

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