Kill Cricket

It'll be 1-1. They'll take the lead - a scabby, shabby goal down to godawful defending. We'll spend the rest of the game pumping the ball into their box, to no effect. Until the last minute, when this season's saviour, Tamir Cohen, will equalise. Everyone will be deleriously happy, and go home on a high, despite the shite result. And then we'll all remember how much we hate football, after the pleasant summer off. Allardyce out!

I think you're underestimating the number of people who do hate us. Go to general football forums - there'll be loads of people - generally southerners who never go to matches - coming out with stuff along the lines of "Bolton - dirty, long-ball, not-rich-or-fashionable-enough, don't deserve to be in the premier league, blah-blah-blah" type crap. Who cares, really, though?

Pah. Walkden is the capital of the known universe. Or will be, soon.

All of them. Every single last bastard one.

Nicky Hunt played in the world cup? I take it he played up front? Roger and out...

I once hit Doris Stokes. I was trying to strike a happy medium.

Children. There's far too many children. Ban them.

I've always thoutght Nietzsche was wrong about that. For instance, what if you have your arms and legs cut off, and are beaten about the head until you become a vegetable? It hasn't killed you - But you're not stronger. Having said that, the best way to improve the atmosphere is to ban children. Little b@stards shouldn't be allowed out, anyway.

Indeed! And Braaten scored the other. So we have two saviours. Or three if we count Raziak! Whey-hey!

For the Wanderers or for the circus? I wonder which one has increased by the largest amount...?

I really don't see what everyone's moaning about. Was it not Ian Greaves who once said, "If you want entertainment, go to the circus"? I personally would rather watch a dour 0-0 with no action than all your fast-flowing football. It's what it's all about.

I no longer go to the Reebok, as it's too noisy, and full of kids. I can't hear myself whinge. The Kid For a Quid thing will surely only make things worse. And in what sane country could you buy a kid for a quid, anyway? Does anybody else in here feel the way I do? Bloody kids. String 'em up, that's what I say.

I feel that the club should charge double for children. To discourage them from going. Keep the Reebok child-free. Bloody kids. Can't stand 'em.

Having thought about it, there must be one agent that is a gent.

She wasn't an agent, she simply worked for them. Satan seems to have a point. Football agents, estate agents, recruitment agents, secret agents, chemical reagents. ?nuts, the lot of 'em...