Gravel rash

Fuck me. Anybody read that, I started to but gave up. What a fucking tit!

Watching the filth v nether filth on MOTD, apparently former Wigan chairman Dave Whelan broke his leg in a cup final. Well, fuck me pink I never knew that!

Barman, three more Amberboks over here please owd lad!

Get in there! Tinpot tossers, stick yer shite motorway banners up yer collective rickers! Rah, rah, fucking rah!

Get in there! Tinpot tossers, stick yer shite motorway banners up yer collective rickers! Rah, rah, fucking rah!

Dave fits him like a glove, that or Red Light District Pest Watch Alert, either will do.

Radcliffe metro 8.15ish, Piccadilly spoons for breakfast and beer. 10.15 rattler to Euston in that there London (beer and Dave's curry based picnic en route). 12.15ish tube, Victoria line to Green Park then Jubilee line to North Greenwich. 12.45 ish 5mins walk across the O2 car parks to The Pilot (cracking pub last time we ventured in there- Youri's overhead kick match). Possibly to squeeze a swift one or two in at the Anchor and Hope on the banks of the Thames pre kick off. Post match is anyone's guess, somewhere in central London before the 20.15ish back up t'north (beer bought from the supermarket on Euston to be consumed - plod permitting of course) Oh, and by the way, a 3 nil win over the demoralised and disenfranchised Valiants under our belt. The run continues! COYFM!!

Guimares, in the square with all the flags etc. Stood talking with my mates and the Portuguese "Des Lynam", when over Des's shoulder I spied Phil Gartside,Simon Marland, Des McBain (I think) and a couple of others approaching? "Phil, Phil mate, over here, shake my hand mate, thanks....FOR THIS!! Said I, pointing to the packed square, extremely proud and very tired and emotional as I was by that time of the day. "Thanks mate, you're welcome" said he and then laughing "Bloody 'ell, let's get out of here!" as the whole square cottoned on and hands outstretched began to swarm across for more of the same. A man I met on two more occasions, who was a Wanderer through and through and a good bloke to boot. RIP Phil and condolences to your family and friends at this sad time. COYWM.

Was Once in Coventry working, went in to a chippy and asked for pie and chips wi gravy on. Serving wench asked me to repeat my order three times, finally she asked "Yow mien faggit grievee?" (Do you mean faggot gravy?) Is it brown and wet? I asked. I was very hungry by this point. She sort of gawped at me, nodding and shaking her head at the same time. That'll do fer me love.

Excellent! Perfectly paints the picture. Excellent use of the word grollying too not heard that in yonks!

Ex Bolton winger Gordon Taylor, he of PFA fame, had left us and eventually washed up at the home of our hillbilly chums from Blackburrrn. Dressed in their red away strip he jogged towards the Burnden Paddock to dogs abuse as he received the ball from the ball boy to take a throw in. Above all the insults was heard the question "A'rt gooin' on shithouse?", wonderful! To his credit Tiger Taylor burst out laughing as well. Still makes me smile to this day. Happy memories!

New Shirt, Mood Lighting, Marvin Gaye "Sexual Healing" , Fat Frank and a tube of Werthers Originals.....could be a goer.

Doesn't matter a jot. I go to t'Wanderers, not t'Reebok or t'Macron....Bolton and proud of it! Owners, Chairmen, Managers, Players even Grounds can come and go. Move on.

Breezed into work this morning to meet up with my Clampett chums from oer t'hill. Fair to say they'r proper Keaned Off and Keaning their keks re the upcoming Hillys v Billys derby on Sunday.....tharl be a feudin'. I'd forgotten how much fun Monday mornings could be!

Has it got a carrr parrrk?

Don't know the Park in Darwen, is it anywhere near the Parrrrk?

Timbuctoo, with a bit of luck, on a one way ticket.

WANDERERS IN TALKS WITH INTERNATIONAL WINGER "Luxembourg winger Yannick Bastos......" I stopped reading there. Reminiscent of a BEN billboard headline of the 60's that had me galloping home from primary school. Only to find out that it concerned the redoubtable Tommy Claxton. Who? WHO??...Who the f*** is Tommy Claxton??? My young brain enquired.

GO! Gartside should drive him, drop him off and keep driving too! No shape, no plan, no spirit, we've shipped seven against Reading, not Chelsea or City, Reading!! He keeps telling us "I don't think we're far off" well think again gobshite. I am spitting blood blazing mad!

Patrick Furburger

My mates dog was called Sammy after...well you know who, also still very relevant to little Sammy Lee when he took over. It used to piss him off greatly when i caledl him "Meggo" during the reign of him who's name shall never be spoken. Coincidentally it also was a ginger and white King Charles Spaniel, how spooky is that? Same bloke also has two cats, still alive, named Burnden and Reebok. Guess what his new dog is called......correct in one, Dougie! HONEST!! Even more coincidentally my mate is really sad and a right bastard!! (And, if he has a pop at me over this, I'll name him )

Barring one or two, this squad of players is more than good enough for this division. Freedman has had them together more than long enough to make a team out of them but every match they play looks like the first time they've ever met.He's trying to be too clever by half, changing personnel, tactics and formations wholesale, there's no continuity and the players are probably well pissed off. A good manager, a Rioch an Allardyce, maybe a Pulis would be able to walk into this club and start winning matches straight off. Eleven months in and we're still waiting for Dougies long term plan to materialise.... it's not going to happen. Get bout now! As a long shot...what about Mike Phelan (Dons tin hat and takes cover) yep, I know he's DMB but ......

Bolton Wa.....Doh!