Its what we are all going to be , unless you get burnt

every one i know gets burnt 

but i did carry a couple of coffins last year

Non of you lot are going to live to be 200 years  

 you will die 

3 hours ago, DirtySanchez said:

Who is doing the pissing? 

Dare I ask

might need a few 

He wants a fukin waterfall

I’ve told my kids that I’m being buried but I don’t want a funeral where everyone mourns and dresses in black. 
Bright colours, laughter and good music along with decent food and alcohol. 
 

A party to celebrate my life and no one moping around. 

I had to go to my neighbours catholic funeral service. It was horrendous. About 5 minutes of eulogy which was dry as anything and two hours of bloke in a dress telling us we’re burning in hell if don’t pay for his new roof .

Cheap as it gets, no service, cash behind the bar. Sorted

I'm not entirely convinced by this happy type funeral idea.

Yes, great in principle, but some may find a solemn service provides an opportunity for mourning in a better way.

Certainly can't be doing with an overly religious job, but something traditional isn't unreasonable 

Each to their own. 

Maybe it's better for those who survive us to make the decision 🤔 

 

As long as I go after Barry Knight, and thus get a chance to piss on his grave, I'm not fussed. Feed me to the pigs, collect their shite and then drop it from a light aircraft over Molyneux.

13 hours ago, crawshawbooth said:

Its fuckin rubbish as you say , and it messes with your mental health

we can talk shit about nothing on here for days ,weeks ,or months but once people we know keep falling off their perch its meaningless

As i say , we are all worm food , Princes and peasants alike !!

 

There's a tune a friend of mine absolutely despises. 

So I've told her I'm going to have it while I'm being carried in in my coffin. Just to annoy her one last time? 😁

1 minute ago, kent_white said:

There's a tune a friend of mine absolutely despises. 

So I've told her I'm going to have it while I'm being carried in in my coffin. Just to annoy her one last time? 😁

Is it Put The World To Bed?

Do people not like we have a finite number of years? It gives me great comfort. You live - make the best of what you can - and then fuck off.

I thonk self awarness of our own mortality is a wonderful gift. 

9 hours ago, freds dad said:

I’ve told my kids that I’m being buried but I don’t want a funeral where everyone mourns and dresses in black. 
Bright colours, laughter and good music along with decent food and alcohol. 
 

A party to celebrate my life and no one moping around. 

Nah. I want folk suited and booted. 
 

Not having scruffy fuckers in Hawaiian shirts or shit like that at my funeral.
 

I expect them all to get absolutely shit faced mind. Just look smart while they do so. 

7 hours ago, mickbrown said:

Nah. I want folk suited and booted. 
 

Not having scruffy fuckers in Hawaiian shirts or shit like that at my funeral.
 

I expect them all to get absolutely shit faced mind. Just look smart while they do so. 

Have your ashes scattered in the lower tier? 

If my funeral isn’t full of folk in absolute pieces, howling and crying like it’s been a last minute play off final defeat, then don’t bother turning up.

Whats to celebrate? I’m gone. It’s a fucking disaster, lads. No more me. You poor unfortunate bastards.

Get drunk, for sure. But I’m doing the playlist and if that means you all have to sit there sobbing inconsolably for several hours whilst Radiohead provide the soundtrack then that’s how it should be.

celebrate nothing. I’m gone. And It’s awful.

17 hours ago, freds dad said:

I’ve told my kids that I’m being buried but I don’t want a funeral where everyone mourns and dresses in black. 
Bright colours, laughter and good music along with decent food and alcohol. 
 

A party to celebrate my life and no one moping around. 

My mum and dad have actually put this in their will. They dont want a funeral at all. They've put aside money for a party for each of them. And as KW knows, they host a decent shindig.

For me, id like the same thing with a smidge of what Spider is talking about - i am making the playlist and everyone will finally have to grin amd bearnit rather than telling me to 'turn that shit off' all the time.

The only thing id like is that if i never make it make up home, I'd like to park it and my ashes scattered at the top of scout rd. Hopefully pissing off some doggers/young couples. I grew up in Smithills, the area is a big part of my life and there is nothing more stunning in this world to me than walking over the tops or over to Two Lads. 

It'll probably be an ill attended damp squib of a do in Herne Bay before lobbing me into the shit laden North Sea.

1 hour ago, Duck Egg said:

Have your ashes scattered in the lower tier? 

From the upper tier onto the peasants below. Good idea 

Ashes scattered from the Pike on a windy day. Has to be a north easterly wind so some land near the Reebok.

 

2 hours ago, Not in Crawley said:

My mum and dad have actually put this in their will. They dont want a funeral at all. They've put aside money for a party for each of them. And as KW knows, they host a decent shindig.

For me, id like the same thing with a smidge of what Spider is talking about - i am making the playlist and everyone will finally have to grin amd bearnit rather than telling me to 'turn that shit off' all the time.

The only thing id like is that if i never make it make up home, I'd like to park it and my ashes scattered at the top of scout rd. Hopefully pissing off some doggers/young couples. I grew up in Smithills, the area is a big part of my life and there is nothing more stunning in this world to me than walking over the tops or over to Two Lads. 

It'll probably be an ill attended damp squib of a do in Herne Bay before lobbing me into the shit laden North Sea.

Bracing but beautiful this morning up at Two Lads.

Reebok in the background to add a nostalgic edge for you.

On 20/02/2026 at 08:02, deeane Koontz said:

I read the last sentence of the original post in an Ivan Drago accent.  Felt like a threat.

Me too, but I added "Ha ha ha" as Bela Lugosi.

It’s in the letter that sits against my will.

Anyone who wants my ashes to put on their mantelpiece they are welcome. The rest, put in a firework, and set it off from Winter Hill

Three songs:

Abide with me (nod to my Dad)

Bring me Sunshine (Morecambe and Wise)

You’re Wondering Now (The Specials)

Dress code - none

Bar tab - £1000

Youngest daughter is in charge. All sorted

Anyone who wants to do owt different can fuck off

On 20/02/2026 at 08:07, green genie said:

 

Should really have replied this first 

@crawshawbooth You ok ? One of the reasons I bother staying on this forum is it’s open discussion of the black dog 

I was until that ball out for Blackpools 2nd

Utter , utter bollocks!!!

22 hours ago, Not in Crawley said:

I am making the playlist and everyone will finally have to grin amd bearnit 

I'm not coming then! 😂

Who did Millie use??

1 hour ago, kent_white said:

I'm not coming then! 😂

Not even to see your lovely Beltinge once again?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd9gkknee0zo
 

Never seen water cremation before.

21 minutes ago, green genie said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd9gkknee0zo
 

Never seen water cremation before.

I assumed it was one of these. Be fucking great, 'cept I doubt I could afford a longship in a dramatic fyord. Be a pedalo off Ainsdale beach.

2 hours ago, SatanGreavsie said:

I assumed it was one of these. Be fucking great, 'cept I doubt I could afford a longship in a dramatic fyord. Be a pedalo off Ainsdale beach.

How much is Rivington Pike worth? Surely he could chuck something in