Having to miss the daughter doing hers today, which is a sh?tter. Apparently she's nailed on favourite for the Egg & Spoon!

 

I was always sh?te at running. Even the sack race was beyond me! But I reckon I could have put in a serious effort for the parents race today, if I'd been there. Saying that, majority of participants would have been the grandparents, and I've have felt like "Competitive Dad" off The Fast Show!

 

 

Any of you lot show Olympic Gold potential when you were nippers?

You are dead right, I put a lot of societies ills down to the fact that too many Dad's let their children win at swingball.

 

The secret is to make them go backhand

'Tarquin, Tarquin my little darling, don't do that, no please, for mummy wummy, please stop drawing on the wallpaper. There wont be any of nannys home made lentil yoghurt for you after teasy weasy if you carry on. Pleeeease...'.

 

Champagne socialists, I've fucking shat em.

Our eldest is 9 going on 15. I'd warned her about being cheeky to her mum and being disobedient, she'd had privaledges removed, grounded, sent to bed, etc, but to no avail, yet only wound her mum up, never me.

 

Eventually I warned her that if she carried taking the piss out of mum then I'd slap her, no warning, wallop.

 

A few hours later, she pushed her luck.

 

Now I regretted it straight away as I've not slapped her legs for years but guess what.....good as gold since, apology card to mm the lot.

 

Fuck all wrong with stick and carrot.

 

Agreed.

'Tarquin, Tarquin my little darling, don't do that, no please, for mummy wummy, please stop drawing on the wallpaper. There wont be any of nannys home made lentil yoghurt for you after teasy weasy if you carry on. Pleeeease...'.

 

Champagne socialists, I've fucking shat em.

 

 

Not sure if that's aimed at me, but if so - I couldn't give a fuck.

 

I'll still never raise my hand to my nipper.

 

You do it your way, I'll do it mine.

so if all those things acceptable to you don't work, then what?

I'm not a parent & I've never been slapped/hit/beaten by my parents so maybe I could be objective here. I reckon most parents aim never to do it but a slap on the back of the legs as a last resort when all else has failed is surely not going to psychologically damage the child. My parents occasionally used to slap my brother's legs as a last resort and that worked for him whereas I used to be most sorry when my dad said he was "disappointed with me".

To say never seems too ideological to me.

I'm not a parent & I've never been slapped/hit/beaten by my parents so maybe I could be objective here. I reckon most parents aim never to do it but a slap on the back of the legs as a last resort when all else has failed is surely not going to psychologically damage the child. My parents occasionally used to slap my brother's legs as a last resort and that worked for him whereas I used to be most sorry when my dad said he was "disappointed with me".

To say never seems too ideological to me.

 

 

 

 

I used to get proper twatted and it did me the world of good

I've never been hit off my mum or day other than a comical chase off my mum with a slipper that ended up with both of us in fits of laughter. All it took was once of those looks off my dad that meant that if I stepped on more millimetre over the line he would have swiped my legs away from me, that was enough. Thing is, plenty of my friends when I was young used to have running battles and even full blown fights with their dads as they got into their teens. Then again, they were dragged up, and saw violence as a way of life, an answer to a question that could never be answered. What I am trying to say is that there is a happy medium where hopefully giving a slap around the legs is the most I will ever have to do with mine and hopefully never, but I cant rule it out...

so if all those things acceptable to you don't work, then what?

 

And what happen when a clip round the back of the legs doesn't work? Where do you go from there?

Not sure if that's aimed at me, but if so - I couldn't give a fuck.

 

I'll still never raise my hand to my nipper.

 

You do it your way, I'll do it mine.

 

 

It wasn't Mick no, chill. I'd have said if it was.

 

No, it was a generalisation of the limp wristed bedwetters who plead like wet farts with their kids to behave. You must have seen them.

 

They're as bad as Waynetta and Tyson who bellow at their kids 'get here now you little shit' because they too have absolutley no idea of how to keep their kids in line other than well, bellowing and belting.

 

I can understand folk who wont hit thier kids, doing so isn't big or clever; it could be argued that if you need to slap them then you lost the direction beforehand.

 

But after reasoning and explaining to them that what they are doing is unnacceptable, what is your ultimate santion when all other good parental action has failed to dilute their hormonal imbalances, tantrums, or out and out nowtyness? Taking their Wii off them? Sending them to bed? They'll just find something else to do instead and forget everything you have just said.

 

Sometimes, and thankfully/luckily with mine very very rarely (with the eldest if its more than twice in 9 years I'd be suprised), they need a shock to remind them who's rules they are playing to. Sending them to bed early doesnt cut it sometimes.

It wasn't Mick no, chill. I'd have said if it was.

 

No, it was a generalisation of the limp wristed bedwetters who plead like wet farts with their kids to behave. You must have seen them.

 

They're as bad as Waynetta and Tyson who bellow at their kids 'get here now you little shit' because they too have absolutley no idea of how to keep their kids in line other than well, bellowing and belting.

 

I can understand folk who wont hit thier kids, doing so isn't big or clever; it could be argued that if you need to slap them then you lost the direction beforehand.

 

But after reasoning and explaining to them that what they are doing is unnacceptable, what is your ultimate santion when all other good parental action has failed to dilute their hormonal imbalances, tantrums, or out and out nowtyness? Taking their Wii off them? Sending them to bed? They'll just find something else to do instead and forget everything you have just said.

 

Sometimes, and thankfully/luckily with mine very very rarely (with the eldest if its more than twice in 9 years I'd be suprised), they need a shock to remind them who's rules they are playing to. Sending them to bed early doesnt cut it sometimes.

 

Fair enough

 

I've not got to the point where the ultimate sanction hasn't worked, thay're as good as gold - but as I said above - what happens when a smack about the legs doesn't cut the mustard any longer?

Fair enough

 

I've not got to the point where the ultimate sanction hasn't worked, thay're as good as gold - but as I said above - what happens when a smack about the legs doesn't cut the mustard any longer?

 

 

Cattle prods or tazers.

Aye, that might do it

Fair enough

 

I've not got to the point where the ultimate sanction hasn't worked, thay're as good as gold - but as I said above - what happens when a smack about the legs doesn't cut the mustard any longer?

 

 

If folk are doing it because they've spilt milk then aye, I'd agree.

 

In our case a good month or so of lip, cheek, and general disrespect of her mum, testing the boundaries and playing me off against mum needed to be stopped before it got serious. We'd tried the usual and it worked for a bit, then bit by bit it wore off and became ineffective.

 

She knows if I bollock her then its serious because we talk a lot and listen to each others point of view, in that respect she's very mature. Mummys boy, daddys girl kind of thing. I had warned her numerous times what would happen if she carried on to the point where she was calling my bluff. Slapping her legs was and will always be the very last resort and she's been good as gold since.

Used to play pool in the pub with my son, always played to win. My dad said give him a chance and dont break his spirit, christ, how would he learn if he had shite competion?

When my kids have pushed their luck too far I just give them a top note bollocking and this tends to do the trick, followed by a hour or so of everytime they try to speak to me i just stop them mid sentence and say "don't talk to me we're not friends anymore you've let me down", but on the odd occasion it hasn't with my 12 year old lad a leg slap worked wonders. I have to say though can't ever see me slapping my little girls legs, that'll have to be her mums job.

 

And i let them win fook all, competition is good.

Edited July 2, 200917 yr by Dodgywheel

One of my nephews was playing for his football team last season (U10's) - they were winning about 8:0 or something daft, so the referee finished the game about 10 minutes early to as to stop afurther pounding being handed out - now that is madness, in effect, they were punished for being good. Apparently players and parents from both sides complained about it, but the referee (who was also a teacher I believe) said that he didn't have a choice as it was getting embarrasing for the losing side.

 

 

My lad plays in the bbdjfl , and last season his team scored 9+ goals on more than a few occasions however the league only recognise up to 9 goals as it would make the other kids feel bad, but not bothered about making the team thats give everything till the last minute to score more than nine goals feel bad.

Same here dodgy, one of ours team won the league (unbeaten) and they won one or two 10 nil, 14 nil etc and thats what they told us too. To save the little darlings blushes they only count the first 9! Wonder what happens if it came down to goal difference?

 

Still, they'll go up a league next season and start to play by the rules so that'll be a shock.......

My lad plays in the bbdjfl , and last season his team scored 9+ goals on more than a few occasions however the league only recognise up to 9 goals as it would make the other kids feel bad, but not bothered about making the team thats give everything till the last minute to score more than nine goals feel bad.

 

 

Always been the way - was in the Boy's Fed when I played 25 years ago.

think i read once in at least one league it was score up to 9, then it reverts to 0-0, or even 0-2 if a team leading 9-2 scores a 10th

 

not a bad idea imo

 

all this about it teaches them to compete

 

does it

 

or does it just teach 'em to kick it to the big fat fcuk who can kick it harder than everybody else, thus making the equally shit ones lucky to have an effective teammate actually think they are something special

 

i see it every week

 

get one kid who can score goals and boot it somewhere near him does not a footballer make

 

do the dutch play competitive football at under7s?

 

just asking

think i read once in at least one league it was score up to 9, then it reverts to 0-0, or even 0-2 if a team leading 9-2 scores a 10th

 

not a bad idea imo

 

all this about it teaches them to compete

 

does it

 

or does it just teach 'em to kick it to the big fat fcuk who can kick it harder than everybody else, thus making the equally shit ones lucky to have an effective teammate actually think they are something special

 

i see it every week

 

get one kid who can score goals and boot it somewhere near him does not a footballer make

 

do the dutch play competitive football at under7s?

 

just asking

 

That's what the boys fed was like - each team had a freakishly large overdeveloped lad up front who used to batter the opposition. The lad who played up front for Westhoughton had a beard when he was about 13 - I'm sure he worked down the pits

 

When Moulden scored all those goals he was massive

It wasn't Mick no, chill. I'd have said if it was.

 

No, it was a generalisation of the limp wristed bedwetters who plead like wet farts with their kids to behave. You must have seen them.

 

They're as bad as Waynetta and Tyson who bellow at their kids 'get here now you little shit' because they too have absolutley no idea of how to keep their kids in line other than well, bellowing and belting.

 

I can understand folk who wont hit thier kids, doing so isn't big or clever; it could be argued that if you need to slap them then you lost the direction beforehand.

 

But after reasoning and explaining to them that what they are doing is unnacceptable, what is your ultimate santion when all other good parental action has failed to dilute their hormonal imbalances, tantrums, or out and out nowtyness? Taking their Wii off them? Sending them to bed? They'll just find something else to do instead and forget everything you have just said.

 

Sometimes, and thankfully/luckily with mine very very rarely (with the eldest if its more than twice in 9 years I'd be suprised), they need a shock to remind them who's rules they are playing to. Sending them to bed early doesnt cut it sometimes.

 

I was smacked occasionally (once I remember being launched into the christmas tree for playing up and funnily enough I was a gobby little shite at times) but I still don't agree with it and don't think it changed my behaviour - just made be a bit angry. Also don't confusing not hitting with, at the other end of the scale, pleading with them, you can be strict and have rules without hitting. But also also think it is a dodgy road critising anyone's parenting skills, like all decent parents you do what you think is best, rightly or wrongly. No one has the bible on good parenting and we all mess up, the main thing is that we are giving them a secure and loving home which thousands of kids don't have.

The missus' dad used to take the plug off her electrical stuff for a week if she got really lippy.

 

so the telly would still be sat in her room but she couldn't use it as she had been naughty.

 

didn't work on her little sister as she worked out how to re wire the plugs back on.

or does it just teach 'em to kick it to the big fat fcuk who can kick it harder than everybody else, thus making the equally shit ones lucky to have an effective teammate actually think they are something special

 

My lad, in his 7-a-side days used to score plenty goals; not because he was the fat kid who could score from anywhere, but because he knew that when the fat kid got it he'd shoot, keeper would parry, my lad would pounce. You make what you want about that, the fat kid got the assists but the little kid got the golden boot.

Won the egg & spoon by holding it down with my thumb - still the only thing I ever won.

 

During the 100 metres (which was about 30 metres in reality) on Shepherds Cross Street playing field I went over on my ankle and came last, even behind the fat spazzy kid, I got laughed at by the entire school and their parents.

 

Did it bother me at the time - yes, but it wasn't some fucking traumatic event or anything, shame Crawley wasn't about to defend me really

 

I've read some gay things on here in the past, but suggesting that losing on sports day was some life-changing bullying event beats them all, thanks CW