dear nb

 

 

A FRIEND OF MINE has some skiddy undies after 1 days wear, should he change them tomorrow or just turn them inside out and carry on wearing them.

 

 

How skiddy are they? You see, I dear "your friend" has more than skidded them, in fact, I suspect they're similar to Bobby Sands'.

Put them in a bucket outside the back door, fill it with bleach and hot water (and a scoop of vanish if you can be arsed looking for it), leave them over night and then, and only then, make your good lady wife put them in with the regular wash.

Dear NB

 

I like to do finger bum wanks whilst sat on the toilet on aeroplanes? is this normal

 

Regards

 

Royal

Dear NB

 

I like to do finger bum wanks whilst sat on the toilet on aeroplanes? is this normal

 

Regards

 

Royal

 

 

Dear Royal

Is it your own bum? If so, fair play to you as most blokes I know can't even reach their own arse to wipe it properly never mind find their own G spot.

So you fill your boots, son.

Regards

NB

Dear NB,

 

What are your thoughts on "pussy pumping"?

 

Thanks.

Dear NB,

 

What are your thoughts on "pussy pumping"?

 

Thanks.

 

 

You mean Fanny Farting?

I have a friend who can do a full verse of IOU by Freeez, which is a cracking party piece.

It's talents like that which are sadly a dying art.

You mean Fanny Farting?

I have a friend who can do a full verse of IOU by Freeez, which is a cracking party piece.

It's talents like that which are sadly a dying art.

 

 

i think i know her....

Oh aye, who is your "friend" then?

 

Thank's for the reply but i'm afraid I wasn't referring to fanny farting.

NB

 

My mate from Guiseley asks: bestiality; is it always wrong for both parties

NB

 

My mate from Guiseley asks: bestiality; is it always wrong for both parties

 

 

Absolutely not. If he puts a bit of Luther on beforehand and wears a none chaiffing hogging pant and lined wellies I'd call him a considerate lover.

NB

 

My Dad served in the army for quite a few years before I was born and for a few after too.

 

As a young child I was in awe of the story behind the deep scar on his shin. Now, do you reckon it really was the result of him being shot by an Indian's arrow, or is it more likely that he staggered, pissed-up, into a stationary tank on his was back from the NAAFI ?

 

Yours in anticipation

Darren (aged 35 and a half)

NB

 

My mate from Guiseley asks: bestiality; is it always wrong for both parties

 

Do you really know someone in Guiseley ?

NB

 

My Dad served in the army for quite a few years before I was born and for a few after too.

 

As a young child I was in awe of the story behind the deep scar on his shin. Now, do you reckon it really was the result of him being shot by an Indian's arrow, or is it more likely that he staggered, pissed-up, into a stationary tank on his was back from the NAAFI ?

It's true, he was shot by the injuns when he was in Canada doing some training

You mean Fanny Farting?

I have a friend who can do a full verse of IOU by Freeez, which is a cracking party piece.

It's talents like that which are sadly a dying art.

 

No no no these are two separate things. Pussy pumping is where you put a contraption over the vagina and use the pump to draw the oxygen and bloody from the area causing swelling, which apparently causes a rush

No no no these are two separate things. Pussy pumping is where you put a contraption over the vagina and use the pump to draw the oxygen and bloody from the area causing swelling, which apparently causes a rush

 

That's the one!

Auntie NB

 

Is it wrong to tuck my willy down between my legs then look in the mirror and pretend i have a fanny?

 

Yours in sport

 

Bigtoe

Dear NB

 

 

I once went 13 years without sex, when I turned 14 I went mental and became a pervert, how can I correct this?

Dear NB

I recently, rather foolishly, answered one of those "add 3 inches to your penis" spam emails and the pills duly arrived in the post. Now I'm debating whether to take them or not - after all, do I really need a 15 inch cock?

Dear NB

I recently, rather foolishly, answered one of those "add 3 inches to your penis" spam emails and the pills duly arrived in the post. Now I'm debating whether to take them or not - after all, do I really need a 15 inch cock?

 

Was thinking sort of the same, but with me it would be so i could see it.

Casino, you have opened one big can of worms with this thread, it is fucking hilarious, I just hope NB can cope

Dear NB,

I went with a woman years ago who said "give me twelve inches" So I shagged her twice.

What I want to know is, is this the oldest crappest joke in the world ?

Thanks in advance,

Juan

Do you really know someone in Guiseley ?

Of course

Dear NB

I recently sought advice on some important matters from someone who I thought would be a pearl of wisdom. The best she could some up with by way of response was "if in doubt, trim yer clout".

Is this normal?

Thank you for all your messages but I'm currently wankered so will respond tomorrow.

x

Dear NB

 

I have woken up this morning with a sore bottom and my finger stinks of shit, what is the reason for this?

dear nb

 

 

i have a friend who works in a pet shop and he is wondering what is the best fish to get sucked off by.

 

 

thanks in advance