Thought I would keep this separate from the RIP thread. Posted by Stan Collymore early on Saturday morning.

 

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/ecoqm1

I live on depakote, had some other type of drug but had a bad reaction to it, fluoxatine did fuck all

 

 

piled the weight on and not supposed to drink but when I have a downer and do something stupid im just classed as a crazy fat bastard by most folk, if only they knew

 

anyway, now you know why i have gone on some random rants on here

 

the highs can be quite funny though, i once bid on a yacht on ebay, went to buy land and grow trees and sell the wood to china, went to buy a microlight, also arranged my old house to be sold without even telling missus c, she only found out when the estate agents turned up to value it, the resulting phone call was priceless hahaha

 

the downers are bad though, you feel that your head is being compressed and you struggle to get up as if someone is pinning you down, voices in your head telling you silly things, i even convinced myself i was black once

My dad is nearly 86 and has been on anti depressants for over 15 years, i take him to the doctors evry month for his check up. it's hard to listen when your dad is telling the doctor he feels like ending it all.

That must have been some punch Andy Todd landed.

<-------

 

edit:

 

Good on you Stan.

Edited November 28, 201114 yr by Matt

My dad is nearly 86 and has been on anti depressants for over 15 years, i take him to the doctors evry month for his check up. it's hard to listen when your dad is telling the doctor he feels like ending it all.

 

Been there mate,not nice at all.My owd fella rang me one morning and said he needed help - urgent, When we get to the docs he explains that suicidal thoughts had consumed him throughout the night.I was just grateful that he had the piece of mind to ask for help - because the alternative just doesn't bear thinking about.

We controlled his depression with medication.

The odd thing is, he had a loving family and loads of friends,nice house and car, and no money worries etc etc.

Why have suicidal thoughts then?

It's so hard to understand.

Edited November 28, 201114 yr by Burndens Bogs

Never had this affect me or anyone I know but I understand there is more to it.

 

It needs more high profile people like Stan to come out and raise awareness so people are affected don't feel as alone.

I heard about this

 

Helluva coincidence

 

not only did I read that yesterday morning before hearing about Speed, I also read The Secret Footballer in the Guardian:

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2011/nov/25/the-secret-footballer

 

dunno if Speed suffered from any of this, but made for an odd Sunday morning reading them two then hearing the news

My Dad lost his battle against this awful illness and committed suicide in June 2009. When read people's stories such as on here and Stans own personal insight it's so much like my Dads story. Dad had everything a good family around him but was also a deep thinker and cared for everyone. Maybe if he had been less caring he'd be here today.

 

Miss my Dad so much and certainly miss taking him to the Reebok!

My Dad lost his battle against this awful illness and committed suicide in June 2009. When read people's stories such as on here and Stans own personal insight it's so much like my Dads story. Dad had everything a good family around him but was also a deep thinker and cared for everyone. Maybe if he had been less caring he'd be here today.

 

Miss my Dad so much and certainly miss taking him to the Reebok!

 

 

 

sorry to hear this mate

i've read the posts on here and i can tell ya it really puts everything into perspective ,we moan and groan when our team get beat but losing a game is fuck all compared to what we could lose .i really do sympathise with everyone who has been affected in any way by this illness ,my son is studying to be a mental health nurse and the things he tells me about it is alarming it affects more people than you would ever think

Must admit, been depressed a lot since Mid-August!

Must admit, been depressed a lot since Mid-August!

 

 

No love, that's pissed off. There's a difference.

No love, that's pissed off. There's a difference.

 

13 defeats from 16. I'd say it was a borderline case!

 

My brush with this illness started 2 years ago. I knew nothing. And I was certainly a devout believer of the "pull yourself together and cheer the fuck up" brigade. Little did I know or understand at that point.

 

Might sound daft, but I decided to read Marcus Trescothick's book. I thought, he's a bloke I admire. I've seen him play. He's suffered badly from depression. Maybe it will be explained better by someone like that. Tremendous book. I used a yellow sticky pad throughout reading it to highlight stuff - which I then had to look up further on the net.

 

Things started to ring true and make more sense. 2 years on, things are certainly on the up & up.

 

Its certainly a case of admitting its an illness and not a weakness (as I first thought).

13 defeats from 16. I'd say it was a borderline case!

 

My brush with this illness started 2 years ago. I knew nothing. And I was certainly a devout believer of the "pull yourself together and cheer the fuck up" brigade. Little did I know or understand at that point.

 

Might sound daft, but I decided to read Marcus Trescothick's book. I thought, he's a bloke I admire. I've seen him play. He's suffered badly from depression. Maybe it will be explained better by someone like that. Tremendous book. I used a yellow sticky pad throughout reading it to highlight stuff - which I then had to look up further on the net.

 

Things started to ring true and make more sense. 2 years on, things are certainly on the up & up.

 

Its certainly a case of admitting its an illness and not a weakness (as I first thought).

 

When do you know that you have gone over the edge?

When do you know that you have gone over the edge?

 

 

when you feel useless, you can't face leaving home, you don't want to talk to anyone, you think the worse about yourself, your body becomes numb and your fingers tingle and so forth

Some good, but not pleasant posts on here, and fair play to anyone standing up admitting to being affected by this disease.

I hope you and your families all come through it. Sometimes I need to be reminded of something like this, and what's happened to Gary Speed, to give me a kick up the arse for feeling sorry for myself.

Puts everything into perspective.

A mate of mine strung himself up from a tree a couple of years ago. Completely out of the blue. He was one of the nicest blokes you could ever meet, happily married, no financial problems, didn't have a history of depression or anything. His best mate saw him walking down the street one Tuesday morning, and they had a chat and arranged to go for a round of golf and a beer later that day. Seemed his normal cheerful self, laughing and joking. It was only later we found out he was on his way to the woods to hang himself. It's 2 years later now, and still nobody has any idea why he did it. He had a note in his pocket, but it was just 3 words addressed to his son - "Love you Paul". (I've changed the name for obvious reasons)

 

I suffer from depression myself, and when he did that, it smashed me to pieces. We weren't 'close' by any means, but I knew him well enough to be utterly astounded by it. The last few days have brought it all back. Seems pathetic to be so affected by the death of someone I never met, but it echoes a lot.

This is by far the most heartfelt and genuine thread I have ever seen on a forum, let alone a football forum. It just goes to show how widespread, and quite often hidden, the whole issue of depression is.

 

I have been fortunate never to have suffered from it myself, but have lost a close friend to suicide and have had some people very close to me suffer from severe bouts of it.

 

 

whatever the circumstances of Gary's death may have been, I feel I have learnt a lot this weekend, especially from the people on this thread who have been brave enough to speak openly about their problems. I certainly won't be so quick to judge in the future.

For those who don't really think about it. or have never suffered from it. Depression IS an illness, not a state of mind. It is a physical illness not a mental illness. And it is certainly not this year's fad.

And for all the research that is done, it still isn't really understood.

Thanks to everyone who has been honest enough to post on this thread about their experiences, the first step to treating it, is to admit it has happened.

Hopefully when the dust has settled on the events of last weekend, what has happened to Gary Speed will be a catalyst for a change for the better.

Great thread.

The odd thing is, he had a loving family and loads of friends,nice house and car, and no money worries etc etc.

Why have suicidal thoughts then?

It's so hard to understand.

 

As I said so did I. Career, wife, kids, family, house, car, material wealth etc. So many people I have met and spoken to with similar experiences are what 'normal' people would describe as 'normal people'. The point is it's an illness - a killer in every sense of the word - and it can hit anybody at any time.

 

 

When do you know that you have gone over the edge?

 

Unfortunately, sometimes you just don't and that is a major factor with the illness. The brain is a very complex thing and, and I can only talk about my own experiences here, you firmly believe that what you are doing is rational, right, noble even, an end to the depression that the medication doesn't even touch and an end to the problems you cause to your family and friends. At the time it seems the logical thing to do. It is only in retrospect when your mind is in a better place that you realise that what your mind was telling you was right course to take was in fact nowhere near it and that the thoughts would pass.

I do not wish to appear flippant but has it been confirmed anywhere that Gary was suffering from depression?

 

A suicide is far likelier to have been caused by depression and a depressive mindset at the time but not all suicides are.

I do not wish to appear flippant but has it been confirmed anywhere that Gary was suffering from depression?

 

A suicide is far likelier to have been caused by depression and a depressive mindset at the time but not all suicides are.

 

 

not yet, when the german goalkeeper committed suicide then it was widely known he suffered from depression whereas here, there wasnt any signs that Gary was a sufferer at all, not to say he wasnt mind.

There hasn't been confirmation anywhere that he was suffering from depression, it is just speculation. Based on accounts of his temperment/demeanour over recent weeks, he certainly doesn't sound as though he's been suffering from depression. Without knowing the facts (and not being a psychologist), it is hard to comment but his actions suggest an act of desperation rather than depression. Speed was a successful, well-loved, respected and wealthy family man with what appeared to be a very bright future in football management - he was openly discussing his plans for the future on Football Focus on Saturday and personal accounts from his close friends would suggest that this was completely out of the blue. If he was suffering from depression, I'm sure the people around Gary, who have been very candid in the media, would have confirmed that he had been depressed. Personally think there is more that will come out about this and that the responsibility/cause for what has happened lies else.

Edited December 1, 201114 yr by burndenpaddock

Back to Stan briefly

 

He's co-anchor for the Spurs game on 5 tonight

 

Looks tough for him after recent events

 

Fair play to the fella

Back to Stan briefly

 

He's co-anchor for the Spurs game on 5 tonight

 

Looks tough for him after recent events

 

Fair play to the fella

 

aye, looks like he's been crying today.