Spider Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Dunno if anyone else has ever done this, but I just sneezed mid-shit and the seizure it caused to my cutter sent the half exposed turd into the water so fast, it splashed as high as the plant on top of the bog.
no balls Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 You know there's sites on the interweb specialising in Coprophilia, Spider.
Spider Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 You know there's sites on the interweb specialising in Coprophilia, Spider. I've got a foreskin, thanks.
Burndens Bogs Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Dunno if anyone else has ever done this, but I just sneezed mid-shit and the seizure it caused to my cutter sent the half exposed turd into the water so fast, it splashed as high as the plant on top of the bog. Don't be too hard on yerself Spider
barryk32 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 My cutter still hasn't recovered from the shit I did in the middle of last week although its better. I'm giving it a couple more days before I bell my massively gay mate and ask if there is a 'normal' way to help a stretched aresehole to heal.
SatanGreavsie Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Never mind all that, my washing machine's started leaking like a cunt
james phillips Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Never mind all that, my washing machine's started leaking like a cunt What? theres blood leakin from your zanussi ?
bolty58 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 My cutter still hasn't recovered from the shit I did in the middle of last week although its better. I'm giving it a couple more days before I bell my massively gay mate and ask if there is a 'normal' way to help a stretched aresehole to heal. If he suggests a special ointment, have a pillow close by to bite.
MickyD Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Biggest and most hurtful turd I've ever had the displeasure to pass was after a doctor prescribed co-codamol as pain relief following surgery. Fucking hell, it was like passing a fucking tennis ball.
no balls Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I'm allergic to co-codamol, so the last of my worries was having a poo when the numb as a piss stone nurse gave me a couple to help the pain once. Well, she never said, well you never asked. Daft bitch!
gonzo Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 ive had dark black diarrhea turds for about a year now. is it terminal?
no balls Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 ive had dark black diarrhea turds for about a year now. is it terminal? You like your Guinness don't you?
gonzo Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 You like your Guinness don't you? i do...are you saying its not terminal then?
no balls Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 i do...are you saying its not terminal then? Just a stab in the dark, but it might just be a severe case of the Guinness trots.
Smiffs Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Never mind all that, my washing machine's started leaking like a cunt Does a bit of fluid leak out unexpectedly causing an annoying discomfort?
Smiffs Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 ive had dark black diarrhea turds for about a year now. is it terminal? My mate went out and got wankered a few weeks back and shat blood the day after. Naturally he was worried, until he told another mate whos wife is into this nursing stuff who said 'that happens all the time to me after a long session, if its fresh blood its fine, is when its dark thick diarrhea you've need to worry'
Casino Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 my worst one i was mid dump and had to heave it back in for later
MickyD Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Strangely, I now have visions of casino with a mound of toothpaste and an empty tube!
Smiffs Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 my worst one i was mid dump and had to heave it back in for later I can't think of any reason why I'd want to drag king kongs finger back inside me other than for some sick fetish reason. And you call me gay for wearing a scarf?
no balls Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 How exactly do you put a poo back up you? There's some weird fuckers on here.
Big E Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 i am concerned as to why the water was able to by pass you. do you not fill the seat? i think i need some colonic cleaning as my insides feel minging right now!
tarian1979 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Dunno if anyone else has ever done this, but I just sneezed mid-shit and the seizure it caused to my cutter sent the half exposed turd into the water so fast, it splashed as high as the plant on top of the bog. Just had my morning coffee which means i'll be pebble gashing one of the traps (a choice of 1-6) within 15 mins no doubt about it
Breightmet Boy Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Does anybody else go through loads of bog roll trying to get the starfish spotless, sometimes I'll check for smears then 5mins later im stuck to my gruds
Recommended Posts