Dunno if anyone else has ever done this, but I just sneezed mid-shit and the seizure it caused to my cutter sent the half exposed turd into the water so fast, it splashed as high as the plant on top of the bog.

 

You know there's sites on the interweb specialising in Coprophilia, Spider.

You know there's sites on the interweb specialising in Coprophilia, Spider.

 

I've got a foreskin, thanks.

Dunno if anyone else has ever done this, but I just sneezed mid-shit and the seizure it caused to my cutter sent the half exposed turd into the water so fast, it splashed as high as the plant on top of the bog.

 

 

Don't be too hard on yerself Spider

My cutter still hasn't recovered from the shit I did in the middle of last week although its better.

 

I'm giving it a couple more days before I bell my massively gay mate and ask if there is a 'normal' way to help a stretched aresehole to heal.

Never mind all that, my washing machine's started leaking like a cunt

Never mind all that, my washing machine's started leaking like a cunt

 

What? theres blood leakin from your zanussi ?

My cutter still hasn't recovered from the shit I did in the middle of last week although its better.

 

I'm giving it a couple more days before I bell my massively gay mate and ask if there is a 'normal' way to help a stretched aresehole to heal.

 

 

If he suggests a special ointment, have a pillow close by to bite.

Biggest and most hurtful turd I've ever had the displeasure to pass was after a doctor prescribed co-codamol as pain relief following surgery. Fucking hell, it was like passing a fucking tennis ball.

I'm allergic to co-codamol, so the last of my worries was having a poo when the numb as a piss stone nurse gave me a couple to help the pain once.

Well, she never said, well you never asked. Daft bitch!

ive had dark black diarrhea turds for about a year now.

 

is it terminal?

Ask a doctor

ive had dark black diarrhea turds for about a year now.

 

is it terminal?

 

 

You like your Guinness don't you?

You like your Guinness don't you?

 

i do...are you saying its not terminal then?

i do...are you saying its not terminal then?

 

 

Just a stab in the dark, but it might just be a severe case of the Guinness trots.

Never mind all that, my washing machine's started leaking like a cunt

 

Does a bit of fluid leak out unexpectedly causing an annoying discomfort?

ive had dark black diarrhea turds for about a year now.

 

is it terminal?

 

My mate went out and got wankered a few weeks back and shat blood the day after. Naturally he was worried, until he told another mate whos wife is into this nursing stuff who said 'that happens all the time to me after a long session, if its fresh blood its fine, is when its dark thick diarrhea you've need to worry'

my worst one

 

i was mid dump and had to heave it back in for later

Strangely, I now have visions of casino with a mound of toothpaste and an empty tube!

my worst one

 

i was mid dump and had to heave it back in for later

 

I can't think of any reason why I'd want to drag king kongs finger back inside me other than for some sick fetish reason.

 

And you call me gay for wearing a scarf?

How exactly do you put a poo back up you? There's some weird fuckers on here.

i am concerned as to why the water was able to by pass you. do you not fill the seat?

 

i think i need some colonic cleaning as my insides feel minging right now!

Dunno if anyone else has ever done this, but I just sneezed mid-shit and the seizure it caused to my cutter sent the half exposed turd into the water so fast, it splashed as high as the plant on top of the bog.

 

 

Just had my morning coffee which means i'll be pebble gashing one of the traps (a choice of 1-6) within 15 mins no doubt about it

IBS you can.

Does anybody else go through loads of bog roll trying to get the starfish spotless, sometimes I'll check for smears then 5mins later im stuck to my gruds

Does anybody else go through loads of bog roll trying to get the starfish spotless, sometimes I'll check for smears then 5mins later im stuck to my gruds

Yeah 5 or 6 wipe wonder. It's a sort of OCD paper has to be clear at least on two wipes for me to be satisfied enough to vacate the throne.