Well I now work in Hong Kong so there isn't any with that incessant need to clear the entire contents of one's respiratory tract system. 

 

But in a two trap situation where the first one is occupied, and you feel like camping down for a good half hour, I feel it's only right and proper that the firstcomer should wipe up and fuck off. Does anyone else experience that awkward 5-10 minutes stand-off to see who bottles it and scrubs up?  

 

 

 

Start chatting to them. They'll shift soon enough.

Right, this is a true story. There was a bloke at work who knocked one out and didn't give a shit who could hear him, I'd do several coughs to let him know I was there but he'd carry on, anyhow there was no way you could leave the cubicle until he'd gone, the chance of him walking out and washing his hands at the side of you was just too much. I mentioned it to a colleague of mine and he said 'Fucking hell, I thought it was just a one off' so I was in there one day and he came in to rattle his javlin, Fortunately I had my phone with me (as you do when you do when you go for a shit) anyhow, I took a photo of his shoes. Armed with my cravat and Sherlock Holmes Deerstalker hat, I was able to identify who the cluprit was and it turned out to be one of my asian colleagues, I informed a spiritual brother of the 'knocker outter' of the indiscretion and the culprit has now been banned from Friday prayers. Apparantly you are not allowed to wank before prayers, and I thought it was a primitive religion before but no wanking before prayer, well I never

 

PS, several weeks later I realised that the shoes in question are quite common so I may have been responsible to a travesty of justice

This is 1 of my many "things"

 

At work we have a 3 trap system and if any of them are occupied i go to the next floor or the next floor until i find all 3 traps are empty so i can have some "me" time. I hate having to sit next to someone whilst they noisily drop their load. I always pick the end trap as well so that if a couple more folk interupt me during mid-flow they can only sit on 1 side of me

Right, this is a true story. There was a bloke at work who knocked one out and didn't give a shit who could hear him, I'd do several coughs to let him know I was there but he'd carry on, anyhow there was no way you could leave the cubicle until he'd gone, the chance of him walking out and washing his hands at the side of you was just too much. I mentioned it to a colleague of mine and he said 'Fucking hell, I thought it was just a one off' so I was in there one day and he came in to rattle his javlin, Fortunately I had my phone with me (as you do when you do when you go for a shit) anyhow, I took a photo of his shoes. Armed with my cravat and Sherlock Holmes Deerstalker hat, I was able to identify who the cluprit was and it turned out to be one of my asian colleagues, I informed a spiritual brother of the 'knocker outter' of the indiscretion and the culprit has now been banned from Friday prayers. Apparantly you are not allowed to wank before prayers, and I thought it was a primitive religion before but no wanking before prayer, well I never

 

PS, several weeks later I realised that the shoes in question are quite common so I may have been responsible to a travesty of justice

And this is why you should always have a spare pair of shoe's at work

It's the same with pisstones, if there are 3 you always choose one of the end ones, anybody going straight to the middle is clearly cottaging

Anyone visiting trap 2 wants banning from Friday prayers.

And what's with the pubes in the pisspot?

I like those tastey treats you get in the bottom of the urinal, have to be quick, they get snapped up.

One should never try the door, find it locked, and then wait directly outside for the current occupier to finish. It's the toilet equivalent of a motorist speeding up behind you and flashing their lights.

 

It stimulates the same caveman like response in my brain. Whereas with the second example I would have a tendency to slow down to annoy the speeding driver further, the toilet situation leads me to conduct an unnecessarily meticulous botty wipe.

It really anoys me when people try the door, not once, but they keep going with the handle.....red means occupied dick head.

Speaking of toilets, I'll bet the one's on these got a right workout. More likely plenty of soiled underwear.

 

 

http://flightclub.jalopnik.com/watch-these-seat-soiling-crosswind-operations-from-birm-1541878105/+flyingphotog

In my old profession I used to hate it.

 

Office workers were worse than tradesmen by the way.

 

When their flush goes that's when to unleash,hopefully they use the hand dryer too.

Filthy fuckers that don't wash their hands

 

Its fucking disgusting and more common than you would beleve. In fact I reckon it's not far off 50/50

 

I have to use a bit of tissue to open the doors after washing mine

 

Come on you filthy fuckers, there must be plenty on here. Own up and tell us why it's too much trouble to wash your hands and stop contaminating us with your shit and piss.

Rayguns spitting in the sink.

Rayguns washing their feet in the sink

why do sone folk when they stroll up to the urinals feel the need to spit in it just as they are starting to piss, I see this all the time at the football an din pubs. Why the fuck do you need to spit before pissing, is it a ritual?

 

I'm also with Garrp on being outraged by those that don't wash their hands. Just as bad are the ones who give a quick half a second rinse of one hand under the tap as well as a token effort. Get them fucking washed!

 

I like MR58s story of having to walk up a couple of floors so he can have a toilet all to himself. I'll bet his colleagues do it on purpose.....so it gives them extra time to rub their unwashed hands around the rim of his cup whilst he's away

 

 

I'll bet MR58 goes and washes his cup now 

Fucks me off when you go for a shit and some lazy cunt has pissed all over the seat cos they are too bone idle to lift it

Fucks me off when you go for a shit and some lazy cunt has pissed all over the seat cos they are too bone idle to lift it

 

Have you ever shit down a lift shaft?

I also get terribly disappointed when whoever has drilled the glory hole between two cubicles is either a giant or a midget. Nothing worse than having to either squat or stand on tip-toes.

People washing with just water are dirty lazy cunts. I hope they get botulism.

Rayguns washing their feet in the sink

whilst wanking

We have a bog looker afterer here. She's a little Thai woman

She's not offered me a squirt of LouLou yet but I reckon it'll happen

I also get terribly disappointed when whoever has drilled the glory hole between two cubicles is either a giant or a midget. Nothing worse than having to either squat or stand on tip-toes.

The glory hole rooms round here have plenty at varying heights.

Like one of them spaghetti measurers?

Widders ideal glory hole(s)