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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Toilet Etiquette

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Widders ideal glory hole(s)

 

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  • Widders ideal glory hole(s)  

  • Widnes Two Hats
    Widnes Two Hats

    Right, this is a true story. There was a bloke at work who knocked one out and didn't give a shit who could hear him, I'd do several coughs to let him know I was there but he'd carry on, anyhow there

  • More commonly known as a cleaner.

Got to love google images haha

We have a decent size disabled trap in our department.

 

I only ever use that, plenty of leg room to.

It's the same with pisstones, if there are 3 you always choose one of the end ones, anybody going straight to the middle is clearly cottaging

 

takes me back to this game from the early days  of the internet

 

every bloke should take this test:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/urinal

We have a bog looker afterer here. She's a little Thai woman

She's not offered me a squirt of LouLou yet but I reckon it'll happen

More commonly known as a cleaner.

More commonly known as a cleaner.

She doesn't clean the offices but does work in the canteen too though she seems to spend most of the day sat in a chair in the ladies holding a cloth.

What about them ignorant wankers who slash like a police horse against the metal piss walls so it sprays all over the next people to him. Piss downwards you filthy fuckers !!

takes me back to this game from the early days  of the internet

 

every bloke should take this test:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/urinal

 

what a load of bollocks, the answers are wrong.

 

question 1.

 

There's 6 urinals and urinal number 1 is in use, which one do you go to.

 

The quiz says the answer is number 6 but that just gives the impression of you thinking the guy in urinal 1 will think you're gay if you go any closer.

 

you should always go to number 5 in this case.

 

as far away as possible without going as far as you can.

Doing a number two then realising theres no bog paper

Doing a number two then realising theres no bog paper

thats what socks are for

what a load of bollocks, the answers are wrong.

 

question 1.

 

There's 6 urinals and urinal number 1 is in use, which one do you go to.

 

The quiz says the answer is number 6 but that just gives the impression of you thinking the guy in urinal 1 will think you're gay if you go any closer.

 

you should always go to number 5 in this case.

 

as far away as possible without going as far as you can.

 

5 is the correct answer, then the next one in can go in 3.

By the time another bloke arrives, number 1 should be finished.

What's the etiquette if you let rip at a urinal? Do you make an attempt to stifle it or give it some with gusto?

Just shout "better out than in"

When folks fart and say "squeaky floorboard that"

What's the etiquette if you let rip at a urinal? Do you make an attempt to stifle it or give it some with gusto?

sounds like ive got a Duck in my pants

What's the etiquette if you let rip at a urinal? Do you make an attempt to stifle it or give it some with gusto?

Let rip, and then say "more tea vicar"

A nod and a "good arse" comment suffices if someone else keffs.

A nod and a "good arse" comment suffices if someone else keffs.

You say good arse to another man in a toilet?

You say good arse to another man in a toilet?

Only when he's cottaging

Only when he's cottaging

That's perfectly acceptable then

have you ever put cling film across the toilet pan then waited for your missus to go for a pee??

Our place is prone to blockages, its bad plumbing because the water has raised up on me after a flush when I've only pissed in it. That moment it starts to rise up is terrifying at first, but it happens so often I'm not phased by it at all now. However if you've just been doing a bit of downloading and it blocks, you CANNOT leave until the coast is totally clear.

 

Poor fucking Bulgarian guy who has to sort it out. What a job.

 

If you go into the trap and the lid is down, you're a brave man to lift it. It's like Russian roulette, with 5 of the 6 chambers loaded. Some of the sights on a Monday morning ... Christ

 

 

Other issues.. People in neighbouring traps talking on phones. People pissing with doors open due to OCD, not wanting to touch the handles, ive nearly whipped the old boy out and walked right into them before now.

 

The other day someone sat down in the next stall, realised there was no roll, and started complaining to themselves 'this fucking place, fucking useless, sick of it' for about 2 minutes, loud as well.

Pooing at work should only be done when you're feeling poorly or had a supping sesh the night before

Pooing at work should only be done when you're feeling poorly or had a supping sesh the night before

Balls to that, getting paid whilst dumping is one of life's great pleasures

why do sone folk when they stroll up to the urinals feel the need to spit in it just as they are starting to piss, I see this all the time at the football an din pubs. Why the fuck do you need to spit before pissing, is it a ritual?

 

I've heard (admittedly over here in Cowboy Country) that it was commonplace to spit first to see if there were any rattlers in the grass before you pissed.

 

More likely, it's because you tilt your head forward and the saliva goes uncomfortably to the front of your mouth whereby it's easier to spit than swallow (that's what she said).

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