I've advertised for a relatively low skilled office position at our place recently.

 

Within 3 days I received 64 applications, all with a CV attached.

 

Well. Fuck me sideways. I knew the younger generation were in the shit but I had no idea how bad it could be.

 

I had one in particular, that I have copied the content of below, and I couldn't work out whether to laugh or weep. Part of me wants to help.

 

Ever seen worse?

 

I promise you this is genuine, copied verbatim.:

 

 

WORK EXPERIENCE

I will consider working in any environment, but would prefer a business administration or working ain retail

 

Achievements

Won a star award when I was at school at Madeley Academy

Won a football trophy

I successfully completed a team obstacle course task and received a certificate

Have we investigated what the team obstacle course was?

I've advertised for a relatively low skilled office position at our place recently.

 

Within 3 days I received 64 applications, all with a CV attached.

 

Well. Fuck me sideways. I knew the younger generation were in the shit but I had no idea how bad it could be.

 

I had one in particular, that I have copied the content of below, and I couldn't work out whether to laugh or weep. Part of me wants to help.

 

Ever seen worse?

 

I promise you this is genuine, copied verbatim.:

 

 

WORK EXPERIENCE

I will consider working in any environment, but would prefer a business administration or working ain retail

 

Achievements

Won a star award when I was at school at Madeley Academy

Won a football trophy

I successfully completed a team obstacle course task and received a certificate

So are you giving me an interview or wot?

 

I can bring my certificate as well, I've had it laminated and everything innit

ust be Didds

 

Had a cv for quite a senior position recently, and the applicant had actually put, as part of a sentence, "... which made sure ARE profit margin was maintained"

 According to the top line of LW's, he's won the Victoria Cross

A lad who left our place recently updated his linkedin to include his new profile....12 years experience setting teams to work....he's 27 ffs

A lad who left our place recently updated his linkedin to include his new profile....12 years experience setting teams to work....he's 27 ffs

Doesn't everyone bullshit on their CVs

 

He could have been a boy scout previously, thinking outside the box

There is bullshitting and then is making shit up that can't be real. Fucking idiot. You don't leave school until 16. It's laughable

There is bullshitting and then is making shit up that can't be real. Fucking idiot. You don't leave school until 16. It's laughable

My birthday is in August....so I left school and started work at 15

My birthday is in August....so I left school and started work at 15

And that's how to get ahead in electronics sales

 

Take note Tomski

 According to the top line of LW's, he's won the Victoria Cross

 

He made Victoria cross

And that's how to get ahead in electronics sales

 

Take note Tomski

I also left at 15 due to this. It's an omen. Electronic sales here I come.

 

What a dreadful CV.

He made Vincent cum

I also left at 15 due to this. It's an omen. Electronic sales here I come.

 

 

You'd be great at it Tom

 

I'm a bit shit if truth be told, I'm sure I'll get found out at some point 

Probably just someone sticking in a really bad CV in every so often to any old job just to satisfy job seekers.

You'd be great at it Tom

 

I'm a bit shit if truth be told, I'm sure I'll get found out at some point

You're too modest

On Big E's CV under "Experiences" he put

 

None, I'm a virgin

On Big E's CV under "Experiences" he put

 

None, I'm a virgin

 

He wasn't an arse virgin, unless you broke him in.

TBF he did "push back"

TBF he did "push back"

 

Did he turn around and make eye contact? - if so, then he's definitely gay

Did he turn around and make eye contact? - if so, then he's definitely gay

He made me wink at him in the mirror

He made me wink at him in the mirror

Wink?

He made me wink at him in the mirror

 

That is definitely gay, you wouldn't have been able to pretend he was a women

Horrible place to be in that for young people who cant find work, can be so hard to just get that opportunity.

 

Only takes 1 persons/company to give you a chance.