I’ve gone a bit mad, basically I’m doing our Maudes head in, I’m always at home now under her feet, I briefly said I’m gonna but some chicks and a coop and raise chickens for their eggs, she brush me off with a “yeah ok sure you will”

5am this morning I was up feeding the fuckers because I could hear them chirping. 
I want a couple of Pygmy Goats but considering how quickly I went and got some chicks, she’s put the brakes on that. 

Shes agreed to let us get another dog, so all day I’ve been looking at what I want, and I can’t make my mind up, love walking in the morning and evening no matter the weather, got plenty of land at the back of the house for them to go outside.
 

Already have a Beagle who has his mad moments but is really obedient, loyal and protective of the sprog. 
So looking for a dog who likes exercise and is good with kids. 

Wife wants one of the following, Boxer, Bulldog, French Bulldog.

She can fuck off. 
Recommendations? Dos and Don'ts?

Once had the (all too brief) pleasure of having a chat with Peter Wright of Yorkshire vet fame.

That very morning, he'd been stitching the leg back onto a cat after a neighbour's greyhound had managed to grip it.

Helps if you can get one with no or reduced preydrive.

1 hour ago, Escobarp said:

If you took it out would run round like a dafty then home and just wanted to sleep

Sounds spot on to me

4 hours ago, Casino said:

Our cockerpoo is great

Lives for walks

Puts up with being left for hours

Another plus one for Cockapoo’s.

Although our dogs biggest fear is being left alone, so I guess it depends on how they start out life.

Good pub dogs, happy to sit under the chair and watch the world go by without taking on any other dogs.

4 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

30% of Dalmatian dogs have deafness.

Oh he hears me when I have food and there is no bitch on the horizon. He's been tested, reckon he's just an ignorant bastard 

 

Love him though

4 hours ago, Steejay said:

Sounds like he should have been female.

If the contents of his bollocks weren't £££ he fucking would be

1 hour ago, Super Bock said:

Another plus one for Cockapoo’s.

Although our dogs biggest fear is being left alone, so I guess it depends on how they start out life.

Good pub dogs, happy to sit under the chair and watch the world go by without taking on any other dogs.

I've got a mate in Haslingden who bred a few BTW. Might be a bit of a shit time but could ask if that's your bag bud. 

Cockerpoo - need testing

Some hereditary issues, prob similar to pedigree dogs to be fair

Is it pra (eyes) and something else, hips I think

Ours is first gen spaniel/poodle cross

Dunno if that makes em more or less susceptible

And don't forget, there's a few different sizes of poodle 

Ours is a miniature, which is the middle one and I reckon the perfect size

Not a lap dog, but not so big it takes over your house

Get a standard and you could be buying a mini horse.

 

and he's had his bollocks off

which calmed him down, apparently, but you'd not know it

and means he can go to the dog sitters

Like Rudy, we have a Beagle.
Wife wanted a puppy last year and got a Cocker Spaniel (proper one, no cross breed!)

Pair get on like house on fire and are both mental.

Our Beagle is 4 and he’s really well trained the only thing he struggles with is where he likes to sleep. 
He’s supposed to sleep in his kennel or bed in the garage unless it gets really cold. 
Because I work away a bit and my wife being soft she hasn’t helped this and I know for a fact she’s had him in his own bed in our bedroom. So I’ve settled for him sleeping in the landing outside the sprogs room.

I came down this morning and he’s nowhere to be seen, I go to check on my newly acquired chicks and he’s asleep right in front of them. I let them have a little walk about on the floor and the dog is just following them around sniffing them. 
It’s probably the calmest I’ve ever seen him when I see him in a morning, it’s usually like opening a bag of monkeys. It’s had a mad effect on him, Similar to when the wife was preggers and when the baby came along. 

9 hours ago, Casino said:

Cockerpoo - need testing

Some hereditary issues, prob similar to pedigree dogs to be fair

Is it pra (eyes) and something else, hips I think

Ours is first gen spaniel/poodle cross

Dunno if that makes em more or less susceptible

And don't forget, there's a few different sizes of poodle 

Ours is a miniature, which is the middle one and I reckon the perfect size

Not a lap dog, but not so big it takes over your house

Get a standard and you could be buying a mini horse.

 

and he's had his bollocks off

which calmed him down, apparently, but you'd not know it

and means he can go to the dog sitters

I hate to say it, but Casino is absolutely bob on with all the above. Or dogs dad was a miniature poodle aswell, so our dog is a nice size. One of our mates has one that came from a standard poodle, and it's fucking massive twice the size of ours, and it's still only 12 months old

11 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

I've got a mate in Haslingden who bred a few BTW. Might be a bit of a shit time but could ask if that's your bag bud. 

The one is enough for now, but good to know!

3 hours ago, Rudy’s Message said:

Our Beagle is 4 and he’s really well trained the only thing he struggles with is where he likes to sleep. 
He’s supposed to sleep in his kennel or bed in the garage unless it gets really cold. 
Because I work away a bit and my wife being soft she hasn’t helped this and I know for a fact she’s had him in his own bed in our bedroom. So I’ve settled for him sleeping in the landing outside the sprogs room.

I came down this morning and he’s nowhere to be seen, I go to check on my newly acquired chicks and he’s asleep right in front of them. I let them have a little walk about on the floor and the dog is just following them around sniffing them. 
It’s probably the calmest I’ve ever seen him when I see him in a morning, it’s usually like opening a bag of monkeys. It’s had a mad effect on him, Similar to when the wife was preggers and when the baby came along. 

Yes, our beagle calmed down considerably when the pup arrived. She's almost mothering the little one.

I have a lot of contact with lots of different breeds of dogs as I'm a dog walker/homeboarder. Out of all the dogs we have had to stay my personal favourites are beagle's and working cocker spaniels of which I have a female one, who is the best dog, she's up for walks at anytime and sleeps the rest of the time really intelligent, very soft and super obedient. Beagles are lovely dogs, but can be a bit thick and not their recall can be a load of bollocks, as they like to follow their noses. Personally, I would avoid anything with poodle in it as poodles are fucking crazy. I walk a lot of springers, they are bonkers with energy and never stop really lovely though. Labradors are good dogs if you've time to train it properly, they are walking dustbins. 

I've had bad experiences with shar pei, a very large cockerpoo, a massive Doberman and American cocker spaniel.

If your lucky you'll get a dog that is naturally good and barely needs training.

 

Everybody is avoiding the massive elephant in the room.

Dogs can't wipe their own arse.

Neither can zico and youri after about 9pm

Just now, Casino said:

Neither can zico and youri after about 9pm

I wouldn't let them in my house either

4 minutes ago, mickbrown said:

Everybody is avoiding the massive elephant in the room.

Dogs can't wipe their own arse.

Haha, that’s the one for me, too.

I’d have a dog myself as I think they’re great fun but I don’t want to do the poo bag thing.

I don’t know what happens inside a pooch but what comes out is just the worst thing.

4 minutes ago, mickbrown said:

I wouldn't let them in my house either

Shout

1 minute ago, Steejay said:

Haha, that’s the one for me, too.

I’d have a dog myself as I think they’re great fun but I don’t want to do the poo bag thing.

I don’t know what happens inside a pooch but what comes out is just the worst thing.

Ours is the ultimate creature of habit

90 odd times out of 100, it's 3 dumps on the walk. First one, I don't know where he stores it

Second, can be anything

Third, he just dredges it all up

 

1 minute ago, Casino said:

Ours is the ultimate creature of habit

90 odd times out of 100, it's 3 dumps on the walk. First one, I don't know where he stores it

Second, can be anything

Third, he just dredges it all up

 

Three a walk?

I thought they just shat once a day?

Fuck that.

Dingleberries. How do deal with dinngleberries?

1 minute ago, Casino said:

Ours is the ultimate creature of habit

90 odd times out of 100, it's 3 dumps on the walk. First one, I don't know where he stores it

Second, can be anything

Third, he just dredges it all up

 

Territory marking.. ran out of piss..

The bigger dog is a pain for it.. third ones neight on impossible to pick up with a bag. 

 

Got ours from a breeders in rochdale.. full farm breeds those, poodles, cockers and border terriers.  Mum was a cocker, dad was a thick set medium sized poodle.. Ted's quite big but looks small next to Brophy.. wife can just about pick ted up.. possibly about the 15 -18 Kg mark 

Nah, nowt to do with running out of psss

He very very rarely does owt in the garden

Straight away he sets off on the walk gallons come out

Then about 15 leg cocking episodes. After 3 he's usually dry

26 minutes ago, mickbrown said:

Three a walk?

I thought they just shat once a day?

Fuck that.

Dingleberries. How do deal with dinngleberries?

They do that thing where they drag their arse across your shagpile 

Mine uses the toilet and bidet. He’s very sophisticated 

1 minute ago, Spider said:

They do that thing where they drag their arse across your shagpile 

Ex-fucking-actly.

I rest my case. Dogs can fuck off.

Unless I go blind then I'm all for a nice labrador