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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Th'owd remedies

Featured Replies

Just now, bolton_blondie said:

Christ that would smart. 

She probably sprinkles it on her chips. Hard as fuck my grandma

I'm glad Rudy specified 'diluted' Dettol.

Remember kids, it's for cleaning floors.

Caustic as fuck undiluted.

Apparently Listerine was developed to clean floors and the 'recipe' is still the same now.

7 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I'm glad Rudy specified 'diluted' Dettol.

Remember kids, it's for cleaning floors.

Caustic as fuck undiluted.

Apparently Listerine was developed to clean floors and the 'recipe' is still the same now.

Fell in a thorn bush as a kid in Bradford park, once me mam got all the thorns out she put me in a bath of diluted dettol and hot water 

That made the eyes water. 
 

I think my mam and grandma were torture administrators in a previous life 

7 minutes ago, Rudy said:

Fell in a thorn bush as a kid in Bradford park, once me mam got all the thorns out she put me in a bath of diluted dettol and hot water 

That made the eyes water. 
 

I think my mam and grandma were torture administrators in a previous life 

Its quite popular dettol baths. Not for me like. 

18 minutes ago, Rudy said:

Fell in a thorn bush as a kid in Bradford park, once me mam got all the thorns out she put me in a bath of diluted dettol and hot water 

That made the eyes water. 
 

I think my mam and grandma were torture administrators in a previous life 

My elder sister (Aspirins on metre-rule) had a few teenage spots which she thought made her The Elephant Girl.

(Note to girls, no lads your age give a fuck about your makeup, hair, clothes, a few spots etc. In those formative years they should shag owt, if not then Allah help them in later life, or they're a proto-Rylan).

Anyhow, where was I, she had a spot before some stupid 'rite of passage' girl thing, so soaked a cotton ball in Dettol and pressed it on her spot/(facial) cheek for the duration of the Saturday Brookside Omnibus.

She had a chemical burn the size of a compressed cotton-wool ball for about four months.

Daft bint.

4 hours ago, Duck Egg said:

Removing a wart off your hand.  Rub it with bacon and bury the bacon in the back garden.  As it rots so does the wart.  It doesn't work with genital warts though. Apparently. 

My dad had me spitting on a match head (the red ones) and rubbing it on the wart and the sulphur would seep in and kill it, the spit had to be first thing in the morning when it was at it's most poisonous

41 minutes ago, Rudy said:

Fell in a thorn bush as a kid in Bradford park, once me mam got all the thorns out she put me in a bath of diluted dettol and hot water 

That made the eyes water. 
 

I think my mam and grandma were torture administrators in a previous life 

Saved your life though.

Thorn bush scratches = Guaranteed 'Lockjaw' (tetanus) and death.

Only thing worse, a dog bite = Guaranteed Rabies and death.

6 hours ago, Rudy said:

Did it work?

my sprog has a shocking cough at the moment. Sounds like she’s on 40 a day, currently down to 10 but it’s still bad 

Try pholcodine linctus the best weve found is the Tesco one.

4 minutes ago, Mounts Kipper said:

Try pholcodine linctus the best weve found is the Tesco one.

Second this. Not sure if kids can have it though? 

On 15/10/2021 at 13:54, Mounts Kipper said:

Try pholcodine linctus the best weve found is the Tesco one.

They will all be the same I think.

On 15/10/2021 at 14:00, bolton_blondie said:

Second this. Not sure if kids can have it though? 

I used to tell everyone with a non-productive cough (meaning not bringing up phlegm, not a cough that claims to have a 'bad back' and drawing sick benefit, who goes to the pub everyday walking with a cane and going "ow, my back!" every so often when it remembers to...) about this wonder cure Pholcodine.

HOWEVER - I've since read it can cause fairly long-lasting complications (24-36 months on from a dose) with anyone who needs a General Anaesthetic during this period, not everyone, but a significant number.

So if you've been knocking it back lately and are getting put under for sommat - ingrowing toenail, SRS, penectomy, haemorrhoids etc. maybe mention it?

Edited by Youri McAnespie

7 hours ago, gonzo said:

Sugar water for hiccups.

also

- a surprise/shock

- holding your breath

- drinking from a cup backwards with your head upside down

6 hours ago, little whitt said:

Rubbing Vicks on the bottom of you feet 

what's that for...... it dose work just forgot why 

This is comedy gold. Having a cure but not knowing what for.

It’s for a head cold, by the way.

38 minutes ago, MickyD said:

This is comedy gold. Having a cure but not knowing what for.

It’s for a head cold, by the way.

and here's me thinking it was for BAD AIDS 

4 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I'm glad Rudy specified 'diluted' Dettol.

Remember kids, it's for cleaning floors.

Caustic as fuck undiluted.

Apparently Listerine was developed to clean floors and the 'recipe' is still the same now.

As i teenager i pierced my own ear lobe & put a gold sleeper in cos it was popular back then, i ‘bathed’ the piecing with undiluted Dettol straight after. The side of my face favvered Niki Laudas for about 3 months.

  • Author
7 hours ago, Burndens Bogs said:

As i teenager i pierced my own ear lobe & put a gold sleeper in cos it was popular back then, i ‘bathed’ the piecing with undiluted Dettol straight after. The side of my face favvered Niki Laudas for about 3 months.

The good side or the bad (pork scratching) side?

Putting toothpaste on a mouth ulcer.

A table spoon of liquid paraffin will cure constipation,my old man swore by it

My gran used normal salt to cure everything, sore throat gargle with salt water, cut rub salt on it, rash salt poultice on it, no matter what the salt came out.

She even had a tub at the side of the bath that she would use instead of radox and the like.

8 hours ago, Lt. Aldo Raine said:

Putting toothpaste on a mouth ulcer.

Love bites as well. 

Edited by Mounts Kipper

4 hours ago, ErnestTurnip said:

My gran used normal salt to cure everything, sore throat gargle with salt water, cut rub salt on it, rash salt poultice on it, no matter what the salt came out.

She even had a tub at the side of the bath that she would use instead of radox and the like.

Cut my arm on a corrugated iron barn panel whilst working on a farm. Farmer’s wife took me in kitchen, washed the wound then tipped half a pot of salt on it. Stung like fuck but was right a couple of days later. 

2 hours ago, Mounts Kipper said:

Love bites as well. 

Love bites cure mouth ulcers? 

20 hours ago, Burndens Bogs said:

As i teenager i pierced my own ear lobe & put a gold sleeper in cos it was popular back then, i ‘bathed’ the piecing with undiluted Dettol straight after. The side of my face favvered Niki Laudas for about 3 months.

The amount of people that did that...

They should've been made to print 'THIS IS NOT TCP! DO NOT USE ON SKIN NEAT YOU THICK TWATS'

Only relatively recently I was dressing a leg burn though, ran out of Hydrogen Peroxide so got some more from the chemist, in a rush, it was the strong shit that needs diluting.

My burn which had almost skinned back over/granulated was rolled back to open weeping wound in about thirty seconds.

Still looks fucked three years on, and it's probably as good as it gets now.

Another scar for the collection.

Edited by Youri McAnespie

On 15/10/2021 at 16:44, Burndens Bogs said:

As i teenager i pierced my own ear lobe & put a gold sleeper in cos it was popular back then, i ‘bathed’ the piecing with undiluted Dettol straight after. The side of my face favvered Niki Laudas for about 3 months.

Ha. Fancied a girl at uni (like the front ends of two zeppelins side by side). She had about 5 in one ear. Let her pierce my ear with a needle soaked in Dettol. Kept dipping it back in whilst she made the hole big enough. Reckoned it was bad to put a gold sleeper in so took one of her silver ones out and stuck it in. Left earlobe blew up like a fucking balloon within 30 minutes and she kept putting neat dettol on it. Worth the trauma in the end though 😀

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