Compo

When my mate Martin was slipping his ex a length for the first time he tried thumbing her bum at the same time, reckoned she turned round and gave him a slap before storming out. Typical ungrateful woman.

Fuck her right in the pussy!

Ffs rules! It's a yes from me. And she looks the type that loves a thumb up her arse from behind.

Something similar happened in Korea a few years ago, pilot went for a slash and the copilot put the plane into a nosedive straight into the drink.

@thegonch already has that on video.

Both.

50 grams of BB shot or .243 if you've got a decent backstop. Failing that I used to love flaming the little fuckers with a tin of Lynx and a lighter.

Looks the type to be bang into pegging.

Presume Andy fucked them up in the Post Office?

What's wrong with her legs?

Stood outside work with a welding mask on looking at the sky. I feel like I finally fit in with the local cow yeads.

Been with sky for about 15 years and never paid for a call out, if you're out of contract tell em you're leaving and they do it for fuck all. Briefly left sky a few years ago for virgin when I fancied the tivo boxes. Quoted X amount for the package but then found out they wanted more for hd sports as it's not (or wasn't) included in the hd package etc etc. Once I had what I wanted instead of what I thought I was getting it was something like £20 a month more than they quoted. Fuck off. Cancelled it within a week and told them to collect the boxes, was supposed to be a free 28 day trial or whatever. Kept getting bills for thirty odd quid, called them and they accepted it was a mistake and cancelled the bill. Few months later I started to receive bailiffs letters for non payment. Took me weeks to sort it out without so much as an apology. Virgin are complete and utter cockwombles.

Both!

Was just about to say I spent a few years with an animal who used to dunk his butties in a cup a soup every dinner. Scruffy cunt! (And no, it wasn't LW). As a kid I used to love dunking a full packet of bourbon biscuits in a coffee, would be on the shitter within 10 minutes though.

Thought he was broke and doing Nandos adverts? And why didn't Phil kill him?

Little Whitt?

Haha my Mrs just asked why they're having a night time wedding.

Yes depressing as fuck which is why I normally avoid it. Can't beat a who dunnit though.

Know nothing about Eastenders but the Mrs watches it all the time. Dunno why but can't wait to find out who killed Lucy Beale. I'm going for Nick Cotton MMW ITK FACT!

Still dark round here at night.

Magic our Maurice! Bookmarked for later.

I'm sure Burger King at Middlebrook sell chicken?

Would have to say toast too, nowt better but has to be golden brown and not nuked. Recently got into chocolate digestives too, have to be mcvities though none of that own brand shite. Can easily see a full pack off in one sitting.

P.s. Have we had any decent snow oop north or has it been the usual dusting?

Currently wanking myself into oblivion in a hotel room in that there London wondering if I can blag brass and bing on expenses. No snow, no real wind, considering shorts tomorrow. London really is shit.