Compo

Cover it in spunk?

Sounds like you already have enough refugees serving in your local eateries. #doublestandards

Why have they got a picture of the Pike on their fb page? I'm sure the residents of Chorley will be outraged!

If it's a mains one like ours they beep if there is a power cut until you press the test/reset button.

Garrps jizz or someone else's?

I think I'd rather pay £25 to watch that than the match tbh.

Being a laptop/iwanker (literally), what can a pc do that a laptop etc can't? I only use my laptop/istuff for browsing etc nowt serious but shirley a modern laptop can compete with a pc? Genuine question btw, always wondered.

Mrs normally does one once a year to get rid of the kids old toys/general crap. She normally does pretty well out of it tbh. The one thing I can't get my head around is why do they start at 5am or something daft? Ffs it's Sunday just start at 10am, you'll still be home for tea.

This maybe better off in here

Love the auditions, after that it's a bit shit really.

It was Warnock wasn't it?

Fair play to Charlie Sheen.

EFA.

P.s. Rip.

You're all wrong, Elf is the bestest Christmas film. Fact.

Fuck me that's grim, sad to see.

Still have two 2010 South African wall charts up in my workshop, so any time over the next four years really.

Used to speak to one who's mid change through work. First time I spoke to her/him she/he answered the phone in a mans voice and told me her/his name was Gemma. Was tempted to ask if she/he was taking the piss, glad I didn't now.

It might only be small, but you wouldn't like it up your arse. Or, it's better to have five inches warm than three inches cold.

Don't put your fingers where you wouldn't put your dick* *Although I imagine that wouldn't apply to most on here.

Try stubbing your big toe that has an ingrowing toe nail. Walking home and my trainer stopped dead against a paving slab sticking up out of the pavement, my foot carried on forward for the last quarter of an inch of space and I toe bunged in inside of my own trainer. Been in some scrapes but that's been the only time I've nearly been sick because of the pain.

Had wood pigeon a few times, nowt special but fair play to anyone willing to eat the ferals. Can't imagine something that has a staple diet of fag ends and loom bands would taste that nice.

After three years of trying to find a decent one I've ended up taking a 63 year old on. Seems any decent yoof stay on in education, the rest just cba turning in/phoning in/learning a trade with potential for great pay future/working in general.

Goes without saying doesn't it?