How do you hold your knob when you go for a piss? Presuming you have a knob to hold.

[gonzo]

3 minutes ago, Cheese said:

And all the bogs in these places have bidets or hosepipes in the traps? And you've made a note of who was in there before you? There's loads of Muslims where I work, and not a single toilet has a hosepipe in it. If someone wanted to clean their shitty arse with water, they'd have to cock a leg up on the sinks outside. In fact, I don't think I've seen a single public toilet that has that facility in this country. Possibly disabled bogs, but I've rarely had to use them and it's not something I've ever noticed.

They take an empty bottle of water in or scoop the water out when flushed.

No idea what you're on about hosepipes for. 

 

[Cheese]

3 minutes ago, gonzo said:

They take an empty bottle of water in or scoop the water out when flushed.

No idea what you're on about hosepipes for. 

 

Because you keep saying they spray shitty water everywhere. Are you saying they use a water bottle to spray the water? And they fill the bottle by scooping water out of the bog? How the fuck would you fit a water bottle beneath the surface of toilet water, deep enough to fill it? You've got to be taking the piss.

Edited August 6, 2025 by Cheese

[kent_white]

4 minutes ago, Cheese said:

I've never been to Thailand, and it's 90% Buddhist anyway.

I'm just talking logistics - not religion. To be fair - I've never seen shit splatted anywhere other than at festival toilets. Bum gun or no bum gun. 

[gonzo]

8 minutes ago, Cheese said:

Because you keep saying they spray shitty water everywhere. Are you saying they use a water bottle to spray the water? And they fill the bottle by scooping water out of the bog? How the fuck would you fit a water bottle beneath the surface of toilet water, deep enough to fill it? You've got to be taking the piss.

The most common way is they use their wet hand to wipe their arses and then use toilet paper to dry and clean the hand.

Paper can't touch their arses.

How they wet their hand and wipe their bum clean is up to them.

Some take bottles in and fill it with toilet water and some might take full bottles in. Some might just dunk their hand in the water fuck knows.

Some of em will manage the task well not get shitty poo water all over the floor. Some don't.

Quite simple really.

Is this practice seriously a new revelation to you?

You've been thinking Muslims wipe their arses with paper like normal folk all this time?

You really do live in a little cloud don't you

 

[gonzo]

It's not a task I'd fancy without making a mess btw.

And theres equally the amount of dirty bastards out there that leave skids and shitty paper all over the gaff.

 

[gonzo]

A Muslim's Guide to Anal Hygiene https://share.google/X3HUb1nLGnceZRah2

 

 

[Cheese]

2 minutes ago, gonzo said:

The most common way is they use their wet hand to wipe their arses and then use toilet paper to dry and clean the hand.

Paper can't touch their arses.

How they wet their hand and wipe their bum clean is up to them.

Some take bottles in and fill it with toilet water and some might take full bottles in. Some might just dunk their hand in the water fuck knows.

Some of em will manage the task well not get shitty poo water all over the floor. Some don't.

Quite simple really.

Is this practice seriously a new revelation to you?

You've been thinking Muslims wipe their arses with paper like normal folk all this time?

You really do live in a little cloud don't you

It's not something I've ever thought about to be honest. And I've never seen a toilet cubicle filled with shitty Muslim water despite working with Muslims, spending a lot of time working in Muslim countries, and visiting public toilets in the UK on a very regular basis. Yes, I must live in a little cloud. As per Kent's post, the worst toilets I've ever seen by far have been at festivals, and the second worst have been in pubs.

[royal white]

48 minutes ago, Cheese said:

I've never been to Thailand, and it's 90% Buddhist anyway.

Squat bogs aren’t made for certain religions. They’re popular through Asia and more of a culture thing 

[boogs]

There was an old boy I worked with years ago who had an impressively simple system of flopping himself through the bottom button of a fully fastened boiler suit and just using one finger on the top end of his cock to aim, as a kind of cantilever. A sight to behold in all honesty. 

I also never saw him pissing without a cig in his mouth. 

[MancWanderer]

Away from Muslamics and arse wiping and back to @kent_whites question

I leave it to the bloke next to me. His choice. I’m not fussy

[Zico]

7 hours ago, MancWanderer said:

Away from Muslamics and arse wiping and back to @kent_whites question

I leave it to the bloke next to me. His choice. I’m not fussy

Got a mate who can't go in public urinals when someone else is there

[crawshawbooth]

2 hours ago, Zico said:

Got a mate who can't go in public urinals when someone else is there

FFs he must have along wait at the end of a match

[crawshawbooth]

Was at Old Trafford cricket a few years ago

Bogs rammed with every bloke needing a piss

Queue of young women through the middle of us waiting for a cubicle???????

[Dimron]

11 hours ago, gonzo said:

A Muslim's Guide to Anal Hygiene https://share.google/X3HUb1nLGnceZRah2

 

 

Sounds more hygienic than just using a piece of Izal.

You haven't lived until you've crapped in the back of the dumper with an empty cement bag as bog paper 🙂

[gonzo]

5 minutes ago, Dimron said:

Sounds more hygienic than just using a piece of Izal.

You haven't lived until you've crapped in the back of the dumper with an empty cement bag as bog paper 🙂

Mate I've started in buckets and used an old cloth or takeaway bag

A chap who comes to the match was working for me once and had to go in some old bats grid round the back. 

[Zico]

23 minutes ago, crawshawbooth said:

FFs he must have along wait at the end of a match

He goes in the cubicles the dirty bastard 

[Tonge moor green jacket]

11 hours ago, gonzo said:

The most common way is they use their wet hand to wipe their arses and then use toilet paper to dry and clean the hand.

Paper can't touch their arses.

How they wet their hand and wipe their bum clean is up to them.

Some take bottles in and fill it with toilet water and some might take full bottles in. Some might just dunk their hand in the water fuck knows.

Some of em will manage the task well not get shitty poo water all over the floor. Some don't.

Quite simple really.

Is this practice seriously a new revelation to you?

You've been thinking Muslims wipe their arses with paper like normal folk all this time?

You really do live in a little cloud don't you

 

I also worked with a Hindu chap, who was from India initially, but subsequently Africa.

They all had water delivery systems which they used to clean: by allowing a wet hand to do the work.

He had never used bog roll, and at first, had a shower after using a good few sheets.

He would readily be seated though, didn't "hover" and shit all over the gaff and leave it for someone else to clean up.

Eventual he got used to bog roll.

Amazing what a person can do when respecting a different culture. 

And to think there are 6.5% of the population leaning towards to the prophet man, clearly with a fraction of that behaving in such a way.

So why would bogs be supplied with arse water pipes?

[Zico]

22 hours ago, Dimron said:

Which way do you wipe?

I'm a front to back guy

I do a pincer movement, where I get a few sheets and start at either end and move in at the same time via thumb and fingers, to the middle, and pull down to release 

Bit like those grabbers you get in arcades

[Spider]

Mate of mine was a roofer and once did a big shit into one of his bitumen gloves.

Totally forgot about it and one of his lads put the glove on the day after. Had to wipe if all off using his jumper.

 

[Dimron]

I shat up in a tree in the Lake District once

[kent_white]

4 hours ago, Zico said:

Got a mate who can't go in public urinals when someone else is there

Yeah I know some people like that. It's like they get intimidated and can't fully relax to piss. 

I like it when I'm having a piss and somebody stands next to me and then is unable to piss. It makes me feel intimidating. Like a real man! 😁💪

[gonzo]

16 minutes ago, kent_white said:

Yeah I know some people like that. It's like they get intimidated and can't fully relax to piss. 

I like it when I'm having a piss and somebody stands next to me and then is unable to piss. It makes me feel intimidating. Like a real man! 😁💪

Bet you didn't say that after double dropping back in the day and your cock looked like Alf's nose

[kent_white]

15 minutes ago, gonzo said:

Bet you didn't say that after double dropping back in the day and your cock looked like Alf's nose

You have a wonderful way with words Gonzo. Like a modern day romantic poet! 😁

[little whitt]

was on a job in Liverpool 

Scoucer Kept Mithering have you got any Spare paint  La 

wait till the end of the Job dont Nick any 

and ill sort you out Ta La 

1/2 tin Left 

Did the SHIT of My Life  in it

big shake 

There you go La 

[Spider]

5 minutes ago, little whitt said:

was on a job in Liverpool 

Scoucer Kept Mithering have you got any Spare paint  La 

wait till the end of the Job dont Nick any 

and ill sort you out Ta La 

1/2 tin Left 

Did the SHIT of My Life  in it

big shake 

There you go La 

I love you