He once ate a live alsatian.

....whilst down at Southampton he once accidentally stepped out in front of a double decker bus and was subsequently knocked out of his stride. The bus was a write-off whilst Kev suffered minor grazing to his right shoulder.

he eats asbestos

I can see a Chuck Norris link coming up....

He plays keepy uppy with ten pin bowling balls

He uses a cheese grater to 'exfoliate'

He plays on after this

 

 

He's had his blood drained and replaced with liquid magma

He brushes his teeth with a wire brush and swarfega

He wanks himself off using sandpaper!

Shaves with an indsustrial sander

cleans his nads with swarfiga and a brillo pad

walks into the jungle and the lions hand over their Zebra kills as a present.

He sleeps down a Chilean mine every night.

cleans his nads with swarfiga and a brillo pad

to be fair, we all do that on a Firday night before we go out don't we

He sleeps down a Chilean mine every night.

 

WINNER!

The whites of his eyes are made from enamel.

On his day off, he see's how tight he can clamp his balls in a vice.

He shaves his nutsack with a flymo

He regularly holidays in the notorious Matthews Lane area of Kingston, Jamaica whilst wearing a t-shirt proclaiming "I didn't just arrive on the latest fuckin' banana boat you know!"

On his day off, he see's how tight he can clamp his balls in a vice.

and whacks the bar round with a rubber mallett

He once walked into the changing rooms in a "gary megson is a twat" t-shirt....Gary was not amused.

Circumsised himself with tinsnips and gave himself a vasectomy with pinking shears

He once got a yellow card for facing somebody in the elbow!