I've spent three hours looking for birds I know on there to wind up because I'm in one of them moods. Anyhow, I gets speaking to this rather tasty piece, by my standards, she tells me I sound genuine etc and I thinks 'Fcuk me, I'm in here, I was only fannying about'. Now I remember Jazza having a dabble on there and I'm just wondering is it just a knocking shop or are they really after a hubby/ Long term relationship etc?

 

That's just a good shave away from being a six pinter.

That's just a good shave away from being a six pinter.

 

Six?

Edited February 27, 201214 yr by bwfcryan86

 

 

Six?

 

5 if it's kronenbourg.

 

 

5 if it's kronenbourg.

 

It's actually better than the bird from Bolton I got pics off.

It's actually better than the bird from Bolton I got pics off.

 

prove it.

 

 

prove it.

 

You batting for Yorkshire sir??

You batting for Yorkshire sir??

 

it was more a case of lets see the lady and prove mon tits mcgee is a better looker.

Rules are no pictures of birds from Bolton so BB is only conforming to the rules. Don't forget it may be your friends daughter or worse...your other half

 

We don't want to upset them there birds from Bolton do we.

 

Thing is though, what are these 'ladies' doing sending photos willy nilly to middle aged not right men they've never met.

They probably deserve to be outed as unstable mentalists.

we were thinking BCG mustve been a little pissed so took a decision not to post her pics

 

 

Mods, ban him.

 

Fair comment to be fair but no, they can't

Fair comment to be fair but no, they can't

i would fucking ban you you owe me a full roll of bog roll

we were thinking BCG mustve been a little pissed so took a decision not to post her pics

 

That's actually me in the stripey socks. Can't believe he's posted that on here.

 

The bastard.

That's actually me in the stripey socks. Can't believe he's posted that on here.

 

The bastard.

It's the beard that gave you away.

birch-chorley will be fuming.

 

I predict a riot!

Birch, type in Tits into google and hit images. You will be amazed.

Birch, type in Tits into google and hit images. You will be amazed.

 

and safe search off.

It aint just any old tits, its the tits of some local slag that wants running through that makes the difference.

 

You cant beat a good slag.

It aint just any old tits, its the tits of some local slag that wants running through that makes the difference.

 

You cant beat a good slag.

 

you strike me as an amateur porn fan.

 

You cant beat a good slag.

 

You can, if you obtain their consent.

 

So I am led to believe!

If you look at the hashtag #plentyoffishing on twitter, there is someone who posts photos of some of the beauties on there.

If you look at the hashtag #plentyoffishing on twitter, there is someone who posts photos of some of the beauties on there.

 

It's you

 

Isn't it?

I wish it was.

I'm too busy working on my 'fans of lofty jr's right paw' fan page. I think that's what twitter needs.

I wish it was.

I'm too busy working on my 'fans of lofty jr's right paw' fan page. I think that's what twitter needs.

 

Pervert

So with a good 90% of the vote in favour of the PIP series continuing, the Love Dog felt it appropriate to bring the AW** faithful up to date with the latest conquests. There were 5 dissenters in the Poll (Flanders and his 4 multis) but you can't please every cunt can you ?

 

As you're probably aware my life and love life in particular are somewhat fucked up. A crazy train ride stopping off at Divorce Central, Flange Cross and Swallow Me Whole Junction. And fuck me some ugly cunts have ridden this train. A couple of sorts riding in the 1st Class carriage, but on the whole an array of fat munters riding 2nd Class. "But this train conducter aint fussy, climb on board love and show us yer pussy !"

 

Several weeks ago I was nicely building up a new supply of Plenty Of Fish birds. I'd cleared out a bit of room in the vaults and went in search of some fresh. So here's Tracey, 42, from the village I live in. Bit close for comfort, but caution was never one of my stronger qualities as you will discover with my frankly outrageous PIP 40 tale. Here's a few pics. I was relatively optimistic, not a beauty queen by any stretch but had that naughty twinkle in her eye that said, "Hello, please smash my back door in....."

 

 

The unfortunate thing about POF however is that the ladies on there rarely resemble their photos. We arranged a quick hello outside the local Chinese take-away and for a fleeting moment as she hopped into my car I thought I was being joined by The Emperor from Star Wars. She looked a good 10 years older than her pictures above. Regardless, we chatted, we held hands, we kissed as I stroked her pie through her jeans. Her texts following this brief encounter were relentless. She'd clearly liked what she saw and my fate with the Imperial Master would be sealed the week after ...

 

Thursday is my mid-week day off. She was off work herself and so we arranged a date to hook up. Well not so much a date. That implies going somewhere nice, spending my money and maybe not getting an empty at the end of it. Our 'date' involved her coming round to my gaff for some pipe slurping.

 

I'm 10 minutes late picking her up. It's raining, she's piss wet through standing outside the Chinky we'd met before dressed up like an 18 year old. Get in the car you cunt, some busy-body from the village might see you ! .. Felt sorry for her actually as she sat there in my car dripping wet. It was much the same condition I left her fanny in 30 minutes later..

 

She knew my scenario at home but was happy to play along. No need for tiresome lies here. Tracey simply wanted cock and I ushered her into the house as quickly as possible. We both knew what was afoot here and wasting no time went straight upstairs. My light sabre was twitching....

 

It was still only around 10am so I made it a cup of tea and we had a pleasant chat for about 15 minutes. She was clearly nervous and I couldn't stop the cunt from talking. Give it a rest love and drink up, my balls need emptying here Almost mid-sentence I take the cup from her hands and lie her back on the bed she is perched on the edge of. With a slight gasp of surprise I squeeze one of her fine looking pots as we begin our first embrace. I can feel the anticipation emanating from her. She's all of a quiver as my filthy fingers snaked up her "too short for a 40 something" skirt. Hello, hello, what is this....She's got these thick tights on and the waiste band is tucked halfway up her fucking body and so tight I've no prayer of gaining quick access. "You'll have to help me with those badboys love, have you welded them on ?!" She sniggers at my cheekiness but with no hesitation strips off and lies naked before me.....And then I saw it. Her Ginsters Pie

 

My what big flaps you have ! The thought raced through my mind. They hung there between her legs like a Sunday Roast carvery. Didn't know whether to go down on her or make a jug of Bisto.....

 

She would sample the delights of the Turbo Tongue however, but the aroma down there was distasteful. Like decaying meat I quickly dissengaged and chose to stuff a few fingers inside her instead. It squeeled and panted and twisted the quilt cover around its fists and without further ado I sunk my lad into her large Meat Feast bucket and gave it about a minute of my finest

 

There followed another 20 minutes of fumbling, slurping and kissing, but I soon have Flapatron dressed and out the door. It's been a pleasant morning, PIP 39 had been a long time coming. What will live long in the memory are those mighty curtains. I was going to suggest we pop down B&Q together so she could pick out a pair of lovely curtains ties.

 

Tales from the Pipside, thanks for listening