watching the news reports about this ere bus crash in france,reports are now suggesting the drive may of fell asleep at the wheel.

 

its so easliy done.

 

i remember drving home at 6am after a night shift in lancaster,still pitch black with not a thing on the road,i started nodding and ended drifted over three lanes before the bumps at the side woke me up....totally shit my pants.

 

 

another one was on a job refurbishing an office,i was up some step ladders fixing the ceiling,when i noticed a pool of water at the bottom of my steps,its had leaked from a disconnected radiator.thought nothing of it.next thing this young spark spots a 'redundant' pyro cable that was leading to an old thermostat control.he tested it with his little pen to see if it was dead and it appeared so.....Wrong!

he took his rubber handled bolt cutters to it and bang,a giant blue flash filled the room with a deafening buzzing sound and all the water around my steps was bubbling and evaporating such was the heat.it seemed to go on forever.when it stopped,i fully expected to see the lad dead as i opened my eyes,but due to the handles being rubber he manged to get away before the cable fell and hit the water.my steps had rubber feet on them and that alone was the barrier between life and death!

 

they are the closest ive come to meeting my maker! (had my stomach pumped aged 15...but i dont count that)

 

anyone else had any brushes with death?

On a snorkelling trip in the around Ras Mohamed in the Red Sea a few years back, we did our first jump and some spaz bumped me straight into some coral and I cut my leg on it. We all got back into the boat and my leg was bleeding. One of the instructors asked how I felt as if it gets into your bloodstream can be dangerous, especially if swimming. I felt fine.

 

About 30 mins later we got to our next spot, we all jumped in and, per the last one we had an instructor at the front and one at the back. Someone in the group was really stuggling becuase of the rough sea and strong current so the instructor at the back took them back to the boat. Not fancying been kicked repeatedly in the mask by the big group again I decided to stay at the back of the group. After a couple of mins it felt like all my energy and strength had completely gone and I simply couldn't swim. I could see my group swimming further and further away and I looked around desperately looking for something to grab hold of, but I was in the middle of the fucking sea. I tried shouting but didn't even have the energy to do that. I tried to tell myself to stay calm but then I kept going under and water was in my mask and snorkel, so I took it off... and then carried on going under. I just remember thinking, weirdly and calmly, "This wasn't suppsed to happen. I'm not supposed to die on a fucking snorkelling trip. Ah well, c'est la vie". I tried to go up for air again but couldn't and just sunk further.

 

Things started to go dark and then I felt someone grab my hand and pull me up. Next thing I've got two people holding my head afloat and they took me back to my boat and lay me down were there folk fussing over me. Luckily another trip wasn't far behind us and one of their instructors had seen me going under.

 

After a while I went back up to the sunbathing deck where my bird was and she said, "Ooh, have you heard? Someone just nearly drowned and had to be rescued."

oops

Edited February 20, 201214 yr by Frandsen08

on my BMX as a youngster the handle bar grip had come off leaving it with just metal riding down a hill and i hits something in the road handle bar twists and i fall off the handle bar lodged straight into my lower abdomen Bolton shirt i was wearing at the time covered in blood, some couple stopped picked me up and went to the hospital and had 9 stitches no real damage but i was told i was very lucky.

 

oh and gonzo thats one reason i never wanted to become a sparkie, electricity is scary stuff.

Edited February 20, 201214 yr by Frandsen08

About 15 years ago I was living abov e a snooker club, I came back one Fridya night after a good old drinking session and as I was opening the door to my flat I noticed that somebody was actualyl breaking into the snooker club via one of the skylights, so I shouted something or other. Anyway, I then hear a noise behind me and somebody whacks me in the face and I go down like a sack of shit. Both of the blokes ran away. Anyway, I get up and go intot he flat and wake my flat mate up.........who goes very white and nearly passes out as I'm covered in blood.

 

As it transpires, when I was hit in the face, I was actually stabbed with a screwdriver (or something very similar apparently) that had pierced my cheek then scraped all up the side of my face. It was a right mess, fortunately I only needed about 12 stitches, but I was told at the hospital that had the screwdriver gone a couple of inches higher and into my eye, I probably would have died.

 

Obviously the police never caught those responsible...........the useless nobbers

About 15 years ago I was living abov e a snooker club, I came back one Fridya night after a good old drinking session and as I was opening the door to my flat I noticed that somebody was actualyl breaking into the snooker club via one of the skylights, so I shouted something or other. Anyway, I then hear a noise behind me and somebody whacks me in the face and I go down like a sack of shit. Both of the blokes ran away. Anyway, I get up and go intot he flat and wake my flat mate up.........who goes very white and nearly passes out as I'm covered in blood.

 

As it transpires, when I was hit in the face, I was actually stabbed with a screwdriver (or something very similar apparently) that had pierced my cheek then scraped all up the side of my face. It was a right mess, fortunately I only needed about 12 stitches, but I was told at the hospital that had the screwdriver gone a couple of inches higher and into my eye, I probably would have died.

 

Obviously the police never caught those responsible...........the useless nobbers

 

was it a phillips?

was it a phillips?

no, flat head I think

I cut my hand washing the dishes the other week, blood all over the place......

summer of 96

 

tiny fiat punto on the M1 - 2 in the front, 3 in the back and v cramped due to sleeping bags etc after a weekend in Sheffield

 

bird driving

 

didn't check her blind spot, didn't see the massive land rover

 

lad in the back did

 

shouted "fucking ell"

 

she shit herself, swerved to left, too much, so tried to swerve to right, lost control (was raining)

 

span into hard shoulder, hit fence, flipped over and rolled back across motorway before coming to standstill in the middle

 

mainly just cuts and bruises!!!

 

cops said when they turned up and saw the wreck they expected no survivors

 

remember it spinning sort of, and when it ended was upside down, I just undid seat belt and slid out the window - was a bizarre scene seeing all the M1 traffic about 200 yards down the road at a standstill

 

shit myself for years anytime was in a car on motorway and someone touched the brakes, still do a bit

Pre sat-nav days doing 70-80k miles a year all over the country relying on an A-Z, ended up on the wrong road which was a bit of a country lane.

Went over a hump back bridge and started to turn right into a side road to turn round.

Just as I started to turn spotted something in my door mirror and some lunatic overtook me at about 60mph on the wrong side of the road.

He must have left the ground coming over the bridge and then found me in the way.

Reckon if I hadn't seen it and stopped I'd have been t-boned.

That plus becoming paranoid about speed cameras led me to change to an office based job in Manc.

I cut my hand washing the dishes the other week, blood all over the place......

That'll teach you to do womens work!

All day drinking in Blackpool.

 

Walking towards one of the piers with a tram heading towards us I jump in front of it an shout 'I'm Alan Bradley' (coronation street killed by a tram).

 

Then i jump out of the way, did not see the tram coming the other way I ended up between the two trams, when i emerged everyone with us had a look of total horror as they just thought I had been hit, to this day I can honestly say I never saw the second tram.

 

I stopped watching coronation from then on because it was shit.

 

Chief wiggum and I were inches of a big pile up before the arsenal game couple of weeks back, how the 2 cars next to us did not cause a major pile up was a near miracle.

Years ago when i was younger and dafter i was on a motorbike doing over 100mph on St Peters Way coming towards Bolton in the outside lane, i had just come past where the Bradford St slip road joins St Petes and this car had joined from Bradford Street and cut accross the lanes and sandwiched me between the kerb and his car - he didn't have a clue i was there, i kept looking down at the kerb thinking "if i so much as brush this kerb,i'm gone" i managed to avoid the keb by an inch or so, and slowed down enough for the car to get in front of me.

 

Years later on the same stretch of St Peters way again, i was test driving a car when the bonnet flew open, broke its safety catch and smashed the windscreen then stayed pressed against the screen while i was overtaking in the outside lane. I couldn't see a fcuking thing , and had to look out of the drivers side window and use the kerb as a guide as to where i was - i then used my rear view mirror to find a gap in the traffic to come off at Bradford St.

 

Burndens Bogs - needs to "kerb it" on St Peters way in future.

I couldn't see a fcuking thing , and had to look out of the drivers side window and use the kerb as a guide as to where i was -

 

 

Not bad, but i wasn't smirking - and the car was a right hand drive

Not bad, but i wasn't smirking - and the car was a right hand drive

 

as long as your hair was like that its ok.

Was racing another car along a dual carriageway with a mate in N Ireland when we were about 21, he was diving. He overtook the other car and was speeding up to a roundabout when we saw a red torch (police checkpoint). He slammed on the brakes and slidded through the checkpoint. As we were slidding through I could see the soldiers coming out of the brushes aiming their rifles at us. I thought that was the end.

We came to a stop and the soldiers were running across the road shouting "everybody out, on the ground". My mate got out, showed the copper his warrent card, told him he thought he was being chased and bullshitted his way out of it.

I rolled a car 8 times and was flung through the side window with the car carrying on to fly over my head, dunno how I survived that. Fell 2 floors down a lift shaft, got a damaged coxic. Got crushed by a lift, luckily my ankle snapped and my body fell sideways to safety. I was in a car jacking in south africa twice, first time I fought off an african with a machete and ended up with a broken toe through kicking fuck out of him, the second they shot at me with bullets whizzing past as I sped off. I once got electrocuted with 415 volts, lucky there was no current being pulled or I would of been brown bread. I was jumped by 8 lads and had a brick smashed on my head as well as being kicked in the head, had concussion for 2 months. Stood at the edge of a shaft 22 floors up and nearly jumped due to a bad case of depression, luckily I snapped out of it. Been a few other incidents where I have been lucky.

lucky you say?

Ran out of air 17 metres underwater.

 

That was fun

Ran out of air 17 metres underwater.

 

That was fun

and you were advocating diving on the other thread?

Ran out of air 17 metres underwater.

 

That was fun

 

And exactly why it's not for me

Whilst getting a lift into town in a mates Clio 6 all crammed in.. This attracted the attention of the local plod... My friend in his wisdom thought he could out run the police... He took a corner to quickly and the Clio flipped and rolled down Newport street no idea how we didn't end up in Sally army! I was sat in the middle seat with no belt on. All got out ok.

I rolled a car 8 times and was flung through the side window with the car carrying on to fly over my head, dunno how I survived that. Fell 2 floors down a lift shaft, got a damaged coxic. Got crushed by a lift, luckily my ankle snapped and my body fell sideways to safety. I was in a car jacking in south africa twice, first time I fought off an african with a machete and ended up with a broken toe through kicking fuck out of him, the second they shot at me with bullets whizzing past as I sped off. I once got electrocuted with 415 volts, lucky there was no current being pulled or I would of been brown bread. I was jumped by 8 lads and had a brick smashed on my head as well as being kicked in the head, had concussion for 2 months. Stood at the edge of a shaft 22 floors up and nearly jumped due to a bad case of depression, luckily I snapped out of it. Been a few other incidents where I have been lucky.

 

Bloody hell, are you part cat?

Fuck me, too many occasions to think about. Some involving alcohol, others cars, motorcycles or certain recreational substances which kinda altered your mindset a tad.

 

Most have been relayed to me after the incident as I was in no fit state to remember.

 

All which you would nowadays probably end up looking very very silly, or dead. Or both.

Got ran over when I was 20, uninjured but as I flew majestically through the air I was picking my records

 

Ah yes and the suicide bomber who killed 11 fifty yards from where I was stood