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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Best Joke At Edinburgh Fringe

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Best joke my arse

 

2 fish in a tank one says to the other

 

"what are you looking at, i can't drive the fucker"

 

I'm here all week

At least that tedious unfunny cunt Tim Vine hasn't made the list this year

Two parrots on a perch

 

"Can you smell something fishy?"

What's brown and sticky?

 

A stick

Bloody hell, even MR58s jokes are funnier.

I told my wife she had painted her eyebrows on too high, she looked surprised.

Never buy a second hand toaster off the internet. You might get your fingers burnt.

liked #4

 

"What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" 

  • Author

My Grandad got sacked from his job as a lollipop man for stealing.

 

All the signs were there.

My wife bought me a watch for my birthday , she said it doesn't need a battery. I thought it's a wind up

That "A gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipes but doesn't" one is older than Soft Mick.

What did the cover say as it fell off the bed!

 

Oh sheet.

In the House of Parliament....

 

Labour MP: Half of the Tories over there are crooks.

Whip: Can you please reword that Mr Honourable Gentleman.

Labour MP: OK, half of the Tories over there aren't crooks!

Edited by Smiley

When the inventor of the drawing board fucked up, what did he go back to?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

  • Author

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

 

Unsliced bread?

Unsliced bread?

 

Surely it would have been called bread? No need for the verb.

Man goes into Indian Restaurant and orders a Chicken Tarka. His mate says 'Don't you mean a Chicken Tikka?'

He says 'No. It's like a Chicken Tikka but it's a little 'otter'

A lorry crashed into an Indian restaurant.....the driver was found lying in a korma.

  • Author

Venisons dear

A lorry crashed into an Indian restaurant.....the driver was found lying in a korma.

This joke died a death at the Glasgow fringe...

Here's a bit of advice for you all

 

Advi

fishbulb is one funny bloke, that is funny !!

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