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Wanderers Ways. Neil Thompson 1961-2021

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Spider Season

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Spiders are ace. They're more than welcome in my house, providing they don't get too up close and personal. A particularly big one has set up a web outside one of my windows and it trapped a wasp last week. I filmed it wrapping the wasp up while it was still alive. The wasp has gone now, so I presume the spider had a fucking good feast.

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  • I like the wing mirror spiders, love taking them for a drive out somewhere they would not normally go to.

A small ramekin of conkers on your window ledge will see off those pesky arachnids... Will still keep gardens bug free.

 

Slugs however... Copper tape around the exterior walls of the house (couple of bricks up, around the problem area) will keep the hideous streak of jizz away

When you're asleep......spiders come out and drink the water from your eyes.

 

Sleep well children

A small ramekin of conkers on your window ledge will see off those pesky arachnids... Will still keep gardens bug free.

Slugs however... Copper tape around the exterior walls of the house (couple of bricks up, around the problem area) will keep the hideous streak of jizz away

I've heard this about conkers, why do Spiders hate them so?

 

As for slugs, there's really no point in trying to prevent them getting in your house, they're already in there!

 

At night the climb on your face and drink the water out of your eyes

I once woke up with a huntsman spider on the wall about 10cm from my face in Oz. I fucking shit myself.

I've heard this about conkers, why do Spiders hate them so?

 

They don't. It's utter bullshit,

They don't. It's utter bullshit,

You've obviously never played a game with one have you?

 

Frightened to death of 'stamps'.

I like the wing mirror spiders, love taking them for a drive out somewhere they would not normally go to.

I've heard this about conkers, why do Spiders hate them so?

 

As for slugs, there's really no point in trying to prevent them getting in your house, they're already in there!

 

At night the climb on your face and drink the water out of your eyes

 

 

was told...

 

Birds try to get the nuts etc... so spiders know there may be birds (natural predators) around

I like the wing mirror spiders, love taking them for a drive out somewhere they would not normally go to.

Got one flailing around on the end of its Web at 70mph on the motorway t'other day.

 

Fucking bluebottles are possibly the thickest creatures ever. The spasticated things fly into windows so hard there's audible bongs from the glass.

A woman wrote her car off this week as she jumed out of it, while it was still moving, as she'd seen a spider

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A woman wrote her car off this week as she jumed out of it, while it was still moving, as she'd seen a spider

 

And then it set on fire.

A woman wrote her car off this week as she jumed out of it, while it was still moving, as she'd seen a spider

Plausible; agony of the moment... Sure there is a case law

Mrs Jules is so scared of spiders we have these plug in things that supposedly emit a frequency that fucks them off

 

I'm yet to see proof that it works as we seem to have our fair share

 

She won't remove 'em though

was told...

 

Birds try to get the nuts etc... so spiders know there may be birds (natural predators) around

 

So presumably; scattering berries, bread, birdseed, worms, insects, and other spiders around your house will also keep spiders away...

So presumably; scattering berries, bread, birdseed, worms, insects, and other spiders around your house will also keep spiders away...

 

Just stating the reasoning I was told

Just stating the reasoning I was told

 

Just pointing out how daft it is.

Sometimes daft thinks work...

 

Like milk that's purposely curdled

Just get a bird instead.

Sometimes daft thinks work...

 

Like milk that's purposely curdled

A cut open onion placed in a corner of a room neutralises paint fumes.

A cut open onion placed in a corner of a room neutralises paint fumes.

A red onion or a white onion?

A red onion or a white onion?

Both.

 

Also if you rub goose fat on your balls they don't perish in cold weather.

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