Random social media stuff

[Spider]

Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

There's no real evidence, but the fictitious Centre of Research for Aberrant Behaviours has found that a speculative 86% of people who enjoyed the Heinz/Weetabix social media whoring are at least three times as likely to be; practising, dormant or potential sex offenders compared to those who disliked it...

There I go - I'm talking up the brands again.

The heir to Greggs is a child sex offender (fact) every pasty or pie purchased makes profit that prevents punitive punishments by other prisoners via payoffs...

As an aside, I am liking how Asda's new campaign is hated and everyone thinks both the actor and the character he's portraying is a cunt...

For Valentine's they're obviously trying to backpeddle (sic) and rein it in - if they scrap him it will be classic case of racism 😀 they're damned if they do...

If the soulless talentless cunts who pimp beans and cereal for toddlers and gippers deserve a pay rise do the Asda cunts deserve the sack - or does the fact I'm talking about it make it another triumph?

If I pay you £100,000 a year to get folk talking about my brand, I expect just that.

I saw it as a bit of light hearted fun that amused me moderately for about 2 minutes during very dark days.

I also laughed at that massive pile up, but I have an empty soul

[Youri McAnespie]

Just now, Spider said:

By superb, I meant the reach they'd managed with a single tweet.

Even you're discussing it, albeit in a disparaging way. 

We could align it with the art thread and say that there is no definitive way to rank such things.

Look at the attention it got. That was its primary purpose. Job done, with fucking big bells on.

My source of Zinf going pop due to Brexit is just another BOOM 

I could strip naked, shit in a bucket then smear myself in it, neck a box of Cialis and get an ummoveable erection then set about acting as a 'matador' with traffic on Green Lane (using a swastika flag).

It'd garner 'attention' - at least until the filth arrived.

It wouldn't make my actions meritorious or praiseworthy.

[Spider]

Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

I could strip naked, shit in a bucket then smear myself in it, neck a box of Cialis and get an ummoveable erection then set about acting as a 'matador' with traffic on Green Lane (using a swastika flag).

It'd garner 'attention' - at least until the filth arrived.

It wouldn't make my actions meritorious or praiseworthy.

Smother yourself in baked beans and you'll probably get a years free supply from Heinz.

[Youri McAnespie]

2 minutes ago, Spider said:

...I saw it as a bit of light hearted fun that amused me moderately for about 2 minutes during very dark days...

Then there's a 66.6r% chance that you're planning a GG Allin-esque stunt like the one detailed above...

However instead of directing traffic with a swastika you're probably going to arm yourself with a paring knife then secrete yourself in some bushes near a lonely ginnel and wait...

[Spider]

I think most adverts are irritating and I suppose that's the point

They need to get under your skin and make you think about the product.

Look at the old Daz adverts. Mockney wankpot Danny Baker doorstepping housewives who were probably noshing off the cameraman 10 minutes later, whilst he poured washing powder all over them.

Smash. I still remember it 30+ years later. But I've never eaten Smash. Or used Daz. We have to use Non-bio.

I make mash from scratch despite a recent comment on here about microwave stuff. Don't trust that, looks like its been pumped full of some sort of glue or binding agent to stop it turning into Ghostbuster slime in the microwave.

WHat were we on about?

[Youri McAnespie]

2 minutes ago, Spider said:

Smother yourself in baked beans and you'll probably get a years free supply from Heinz.

I'll pass as they're exactly the same as Asda/Sainsbury's/Morrison's et al own brands.

I've been told by someone who works there (Heinz) - only the labels are different.

Also there's apparently more sugar in one tin than in FORTY sticks of Blackpool Rock.

Again told to me by the same whistleblower.

[Spider]

2 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I'll pass as they're exactly the same as Asda/Sainsbury's/Morrison's et al own brands.

I've been told by someone who works there (Heinz) - only the labels are different.

Also there's apparently more sugar in one tin than in FORTY sticks of Blackpool Rock.

Again told to me by the same whistleblower.

As a student, I would keep tins of beans on the radiator rather than heat them up in a pan. They should be served just above room temperature on cheap white bread with a generous dash of Worcestershire sauce and pepper.

As for the weetabix/beans viral tweet, it even got a mention by Isambard Kingdom Rees Moggwank in the HoC yesterday. He was sucked into a modern day scam and probably spent the whole of last night being chased naked round his orchard by Nanny as she whipped him with barbed sugar cane.

 

[Youri McAnespie]

Your beans were probably 'Best-In' brand (aka Heinz in a differently labelled can) - 19p from the cornershop.

Mogg probably bought about eighteen million quids worth of Unilever shares and was trying to 'Musk' them...

That's right, these delicious products are made by a BLEACH firm, in a BLEACH factory.

Still going to force feed them to your toddler or gummy gipper relative..?

[Spider]

3 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Your beans were probably 'Best-In' brand (aka Heinz in a differently labelled can) - 19p from the cornershop.

Mogg probably bought about eighteen million quids worth of Unilever shares and was trying to 'Musk' them...

That's right, these delicious products are made by a BLEACH firm, in a BLEACH factory.

Still going to force feed them to your toddler or gummy gipper relative..?

My kids don't like beans (I often wonder if they're even my kids)

I routinely add a drop of bleach to their pre-bedtime lager. It helps them sleep and keeps their digestive systems in tip top shape.

Better that food is made in a bleach factory than a, a, erm, shit farm

[Youri McAnespie]

Kids should be started on bitter.

It's, contrary to name, sweeter tasting than lager and therefore more palatable to kids.

Lager-weened children will grow up to adults who think Budweiser is an acceptable drink.

[Traf]

48 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I'll pass as they're exactly the same as Asda/Sainsbury's/Morrison's et al own brands.

I've been told by someone who works there (Heinz) - only the labels are different.

Also there's apparently more sugar in one tin than in FORTY sticks of Blackpool Rock.

Again told to me by the same whistleblower.

4.5 teaspoons of sugar in a tin of beans.

[Youri McAnespie]

There is more salt in one tin of beans than in TWENTY NINE regular-sized bags of Dry Roasted Peanuts.

[Traf]

1 minute ago, Youri McAnespie said:

There is more salt in one tin of beans than in TWENTY NINE regular-sized bags of Dry Roasted Peanuts.

Partially because there's pretty much no salt in Dry Roasted Peanuts

[Not in Crawley]

Go to work on an egg.

Now THAT'S a tagline.

[Youri McAnespie]

Wyeth Pharmaceuticals?

Big Temazepam push of 1992?

[Not in Crawley]

Make Room for the Mushrooms.....

Great ad!

[Youri McAnespie]

5 minutes ago, Traf said:

Partially because there's pretty much no salt in Dry Roasted Peanuts

I meant salted peanuts, there's the same amount of salt in one tin of beans as there is in TWENTY NINE regular-sized bags of salted peanuts, stupid autocorrect.

[Youri McAnespie]

10 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Make Room for the Mushrooms.....

Great ad!

Neatly sidestepping the problematic issue of 'Sunny' (for Asda) - give him the heave-ho and expose their existing bigotry* or keep him and enrage more current/potential customers.

 

* When 'self-scan' happened, it was almost universally the African-origin staff who were 'let go', certainly at Burnden Asda.

Edited February 12, 2021 by Youri McAnespie

[Youri McAnespie]

Sick minds behind sinister Asda campaign exposed...

https://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/asdas-discount-christmas-ad-brings-back-earnest-fan-sunny/1699154

[Traf]

15 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I meant salted peanuts, there's the same amount of salt in one tin of beans as there is in TWENTY NINE regular-sized bags of salted peanuts, stupid autocorrect.

I think you're wrong there.

There's about 2.5g of salt in a tin of beans, the same as in 200g peanuts

[Youri McAnespie]

1 minute ago, Traf said:

I think you're wrong there.

There's about 2.5g of salt in a tin of beans, the same as in 200g peanuts.

...Regular 'failing to appreciate whimsy' and pedantry correspondent MalcolmW is currently on leave of absence creating the ultimate guide to Rothmans Yearbooks.

 

[Youri McAnespie]

That's still fuckloads btw.

Even Rick Stein would baulk at that amount of salt.

[Traf]

Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

That's still fuckloads btw.

Even Rick Stein would baulk at that amount of salt.

Sorry, I assumed that when you corrected the claim, you meant it.

Sarcasm doesn't transmit well in print.

[Morizio]

Well this thread has changed some what from being a welcome distraction with some the links being very amusing!

[Youri McAnespie]

Yes.

It's now very amusing.

Whereas previously it was as amusing as woodworm in a cripple's crutch.*

 

* © Bernard John Manning.