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How the fuck can anyone not understand this?

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1 hour ago, Not in Crawley said:

Someone in some agency is currently getting a massive payrise.

My initial thought was that Weetabix and Heinz use the same promoter.

Its superb all round.

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15 hours ago, Spider said:

My initial thought was that Weetabix and Heinz use the same promoter.

Its superb all round.

Pimping cereal and legumes to the retarded is 'superb'? The universe corrected this statement yesterday by removing your Zinfandel source.

12 hours ago, Not in Crawley said:

It's been run by Frank PR, been all over The Drum, PR Week and Campaign. Huge PR firm. 

I'd think Heinz baked beans and Weetabix are two of the least 'pushable' products around, either you're the type of frippery bellend who thinks brands are 'better' or you aren't...

It's not 'a bit of fun' either...

It's cuntery started by cunts for cunts.

 

 

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Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

Pimping cereal and legumes to the retarded is 'superb'? The universe corrected this statement yesterday by removing your Zinfandel source.

I'd think Heinz baked beans and Weetabix are two of the least 'pushable' products around, either you're the type of frippery bellend who thinks brands are 'better' or you aren't...

It's not 'a bit of fun' either...

It's cuntery started by cunts for cunts.

 

 

 

 

You're sill being dragged into talking about it. One of the key KPI's wil be shareability - its made it into parliment and a football forum.

Job very much done.

People who dismiss brand value, are still part of brand acknowledgement. The posts on the pissheadary page show this, or the hoover thread, or the trainer thread......

Least pushable brands - weetabix still use liner TV as a main component because of their stauts as a staple British brand, this is a hift for them and its worked really well. Shows you can move established brands into a different space whilst retaiing its core value.

I realise this makes me a cunt, all marketing people are - but I enjoy it.

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There's no real evidence, but the fictitious Centre of Research for Aberrant Behaviours has found that a speculative 86% of people who enjoyed the Heinz/Weetabix social media whoring are at least three times as likely to be; practising, dormant or potential sex offenders compared to those who disliked it...

There I go - I'm talking up the brands again.

The heir to Greggs is a child sex offender (fact) every pasty or pie purchased makes profit that prevents punitive punishments by other prisoners via payoffs...

As an aside, I am liking how Asda's new campaign is hated and everyone thinks both the actor and the character he's portraying is a cunt...

For Valentine's they're obviously trying to backpeddle (sic) and rein it in - if they scrap him it will be classic case of racism 😀 they're damned if they do...

If the soulless talentless cunts who pimp beans and cereal for toddlers and gippers deserve a pay rise do the Asda cunts deserve the sack - or does the fact I'm talking about it make it another triumph?

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23 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Pimping cereal and legumes to the retarded is 'superb'? The universe corrected this statement yesterday by removing your Zinfandel source.

I'd think Heinz baked beans and Weetabix are two of the least 'pushable' products around, either you're the type of frippery bellend who thinks brands are 'better' or you aren't...

It's not 'a bit of fun' either...

It's cuntery started by cunts for cunts.

 

 

By superb, I meant the reach they'd managed with a single tweet.

Even you're discussing it, albeit in a disparaging way. 

We could align it with the art thread and say that there is no definitive way to rank such things.

Look at the attention it got. That was its primary purpose. Job done, with fucking big bells on.

My source of Zinf going pop due to Brexit is just another BOOM 

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Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

There's no real evidence, but the fictitious Centre of Research for Aberrant Behaviours has found that a speculative 86% of people who enjoyed the Heinz/Weetabix social media whoring are at least three times as likely to be; practising, dormant or potential sex offenders compared to those who disliked it...

There I go - I'm talking up the brands again.

The heir to Greggs is a child sex offender (fact) every pasty or pie purchased makes profit that prevents punitive punishments by other prisoners via payoffs...

As an aside, I am liking how Asda's new campaign is hated and everyone thinks both the actor and the character he's portraying is a cunt...

For Valentine's they're obviously trying to backpeddle (sic) and rein it in - if they scrap him it will be classic case of racism 😀 they're damned if they do...

If the soulless talentless cunts who pimp beans and cereal for toddlers and gippers deserve a pay rise do the Asda cunts deserve the sack - or does the fact I'm talking about it make it another triumph?

If I pay you £100,000 a year to get folk talking about my brand, I expect just that.

I saw it as a bit of light hearted fun that amused me moderately for about 2 minutes during very dark days.

I also laughed at that massive pile up, but I have an empty soul

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Just now, Spider said:

By superb, I meant the reach they'd managed with a single tweet.

Even you're discussing it, albeit in a disparaging way. 

We could align it with the art thread and say that there is no definitive way to rank such things.

Look at the attention it got. That was its primary purpose. Job done, with fucking big bells on.

My source of Zinf going pop due to Brexit is just another BOOM 

I could strip naked, shit in a bucket then smear myself in it, neck a box of Cialis and get an ummoveable erection then set about acting as a 'matador' with traffic on Green Lane (using a swastika flag).

It'd garner 'attention' - at least until the filth arrived.

It wouldn't make my actions meritorious or praiseworthy.

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Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

I could strip naked, shit in a bucket then smear myself in it, neck a box of Cialis and get an ummoveable erection then set about acting as a 'matador' with traffic on Green Lane (using a swastika flag).

It'd garner 'attention' - at least until the filth arrived.

It wouldn't make my actions meritorious or praiseworthy.

Smother yourself in baked beans and you'll probably get a years free supply from Heinz.

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2 minutes ago, Spider said:

...I saw it as a bit of light hearted fun that amused me moderately for about 2 minutes during very dark days...

Then there's a 66.6r% chance that you're planning a GG Allin-esque stunt like the one detailed above...

However instead of directing traffic with a swastika you're probably going to arm yourself with a paring knife then secrete yourself in some bushes near a lonely ginnel and wait...

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I think most adverts are irritating and I suppose that's the point

They need to get under your skin and make you think about the product.

Look at the old Daz adverts. Mockney wankpot Danny Baker doorstepping housewives who were probably noshing off the cameraman 10 minutes later, whilst he poured washing powder all over them.

Smash. I still remember it 30+ years later. But I've never eaten Smash. Or used Daz. We have to use Non-bio.

I make mash from scratch despite a recent comment on here about microwave stuff. Don't trust that, looks like its been pumped full of some sort of glue or binding agent to stop it turning into Ghostbuster slime in the microwave.

WHat were we on about?

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2 minutes ago, Spider said:

Smother yourself in baked beans and you'll probably get a years free supply from Heinz.

I'll pass as they're exactly the same as Asda/Sainsbury's/Morrison's et al own brands.

I've been told by someone who works there (Heinz) - only the labels are different.

Also there's apparently more sugar in one tin than in FORTY sticks of Blackpool Rock.

Again told to me by the same whistleblower.

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2 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I'll pass as they're exactly the same as Asda/Sainsbury's/Morrison's et al own brands.

I've been told by someone who works there (Heinz) - only the labels are different.

Also there's apparently more sugar in one tin than in FORTY sticks of Blackpool Rock.

Again told to me by the same whistleblower.

As a student, I would keep tins of beans on the radiator rather than heat them up in a pan. They should be served just above room temperature on cheap white bread with a generous dash of Worcestershire sauce and pepper.

As for the weetabix/beans viral tweet, it even got a mention by Isambard Kingdom Rees Moggwank in the HoC yesterday. He was sucked into a modern day scam and probably spent the whole of last night being chased naked round his orchard by Nanny as she whipped him with barbed sugar cane.

 

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Your beans were probably 'Best-In' brand (aka Heinz in a differently labelled can) - 19p from the cornershop.

Mogg probably bought about eighteen million quids worth of Unilever shares and was trying to 'Musk' them...

That's right, these delicious products are made by a BLEACH firm, in a BLEACH factory.

Still going to force feed them to your toddler or gummy gipper relative..?

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3 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Your beans were probably 'Best-In' brand (aka Heinz in a differently labelled can) - 19p from the cornershop.

Mogg probably bought about eighteen million quids worth of Unilever shares and was trying to 'Musk' them...

That's right, these delicious products are made by a BLEACH firm, in a BLEACH factory.

Still going to force feed them to your toddler or gummy gipper relative..?

My kids don't like beans (I often wonder if they're even my kids)

I routinely add a drop of bleach to their pre-bedtime lager. It helps them sleep and keeps their digestive systems in tip top shape.

Better that food is made in a bleach factory than a, a, erm, shit farm

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48 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I'll pass as they're exactly the same as Asda/Sainsbury's/Morrison's et al own brands.

I've been told by someone who works there (Heinz) - only the labels are different.

Also there's apparently more sugar in one tin than in FORTY sticks of Blackpool Rock.

Again told to me by the same whistleblower.

4.5 teaspoons of sugar in a tin of beans.

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