August 12, 20215 yr 2 hours ago, only1swanny said: Just imagine with the abuse Jason Lee got with having a pineapple on his head.. That was because he was shit. I used to sometimes stand and watch him at Lincoln and the shout was always "on Jases ed", trouble was he never got the hang of the offside rule. Forest thought they were buying a new Collymore 🙂
August 13, 20215 yr He bribed corrupt staff at Chester Zoo to administer a huge dose of Ketamine, out of hours, to their resident Manchurian Tiger, when it was rendered unconscious he entered the enclosure and performed fellattio on him. He shit his pants whilst drunk (on poitin) at the ITV studios, he hid his shitten up y-fronts behind the guest sofa's cushions then snuck into Suzannah Reed's dressing room and donned some of her knickers, after cleaning his mess up with her hand towels. He later blamed that day's guest, Oliver Reid, when the foul undercrackers were discovered. He had Albiston the wolfhound destroyed after he smeared liver pâte on his bellend and tried to coerce the hound into licking it off, the beast, sick of the abuse, finally retaliated, snapping at his micropenis. The animal was at the vets and put to sleep within the hour. When he was off sick after Albiston's justified retaliation bite, he campaigned for David Duke, leader of the KKK to fill in for him. Every Saint Patrick's day he procures 200 harmless snakes from various pet shops. He bundles them all into a burlap sack with two bricks, ties it off, then drives to Blackpool and chucks it off the end of The North Pier when it's high tide. He had hired goons beat up Happy Mondays' Bez after some perceived slight, Bez had merely stated how pretty his wife, Kate Garraway, was - he lost three front teeth and had several ribs broken. Holmes warned him not to report this under threat of kneecapping by his Real I.R.A capos... These are allegations, I have no real proof, they may be false. Edited August 13, 20215 yr by Youri McAnespie
August 13, 20215 yr Weren’t we, as a supporter group, once accused of racism for singing about said pineapple? No more racist than singing the same tune to that geezer with the tea towel!
August 13, 20215 yr 6 minutes ago, Rudy said: But early to be hitting the sauce Youri This dialogue is in my head at all times. Why defend Holmes? He's potentially a racist monster.
August 13, 20215 yr He tried to sing in a Righteous Pigs cover band, lamentably... He became the laughing stock of the grindcore community. He is addicted to Lorazepam - he mostly sources this from the black market but occasionally 'mumbles' some from his GP, claiming non-existent back pain and insomnia. Whilst high on Lorazepam and drunk on poitin he broke into his local primary school one Friday night using a cricket bat, he was found rolled up in a gym mat, having soiled himself. He made a sizeable donation to The Police Benevolent Fund to avoid charges. Whilst pissed up on poitin at the premiere of 'Mamma Mia' he exposed his micro-penis to Bonnie Langford and Wayne Sleep. Making a dual proposition. He conducted a 'crash for cash' scam, deliberately slamming the anchors on his Citroën Berlingo so some poor old dear shunted into him. He claimed whiplash, £3000 compo - he earns £8 MILLION a year from Good Morning Britain alone. The poor old lady never drove again. He organises dog fights in his native Ireland, not only that, he rigs them by lacing his rival's dogs Pedigree Chum with some of his Lorazepam. He extorted thousands of pounds from Ian 'H' Watkins, by threatening to 'out' him at the height of S Club 7's fame... He dons a scruffy disguise and sits outside the Sainsbury's on Oxford Road begging - he used to take Albiston his wolfhound to elicit sympathy, until he had him put down for resisting his bestiality. He felt like he'd been treated less than his status should deserve at Burger King when he had to wait in the queue behind normal folk, after his meal of eight Whoppers and six large fries, to register his displeasure he went into the toilets, shat on the floor, then used napkins to smear his excrement over the walls. This is second-hand info, it could be false. He may have not done any of the above.
August 14, 20214 yr His son supports Bohemians, actually going to games, although Holmes has been to Old Trafford (hoik spit) once, not for a match but to buy tat from the club shop, including a 'Fred The Red' car air freshener - because of his own offspring's loyalty to his local team, rather than the red shite, he disowned him. He was 16 years old. He gave him £60 and told him to sling his hook. When his wife, Louise Minchin, tried to argue the case for their son, Holmes stuck on his 'Magical Night In Barcelona - MUFC vs. Bayern Munich' DVD and turned the telly volume up to 48. He then drank deeply from his poitin bottle (never far from hand) and popped some Lorazepam capsules, soon falling into a stupor. He was obsessed with the notion of killing a hippo, as 'George' from Rainbow triggered his latent homophobic tendencies. He is terrified of injections, so a trip to Africa was out of the question. He instead paid Robert Mugabe £400 to air-freight a pygmy hippo to Ireland. He had one of his Real I.R.A henchmen paint the hapless animal pink and feed it Lorazepam. Whilst it was subdued the coward Holmes blasted the proud beast with a shotgun from an upstairs window. He was so incompetent he only winged it, despite 20 shots. Eventually his wife, Susannah Reid, went out to end the animal's misery using a kitchen knife. By this time he was, due to binging on benzodiazpines and the powerful potato based spirit - poitin, for dutch courage, he was semi-comatose sat on the en suite bedroom's toilet (Holmes not the hippopotamus). Mouthing homophobic and anti-hippo mumbo-jumbo. He was granted an audience with The Pope, he said he needed the toilet and snuck into the pontiff's bedroom, then masturbated and ejaculated into one of his holiness's slippers. Because he was drunk on poitin he then shat on the lid of the papal toilet and wiped his arse on the papal towel before placing the shitty towel back in the middle of the pile. Before he had Albiston, his wolfhound sex slave and begging accessory, destroyed, he would gather his shit from the backyard (he didn't take him for walks) - he would post the dogshit through the letterboxes of anyone who'd aggrieved him; The Singh Family, The Cohen Family, Finton McCool owner of his corner shop (refused to sell a drunk and abusive Holmes more poitin), Phil Lynott's mum and Ronan Keating... They all got dogshit through the letterbox. Under cover of darkness of course. He's a bastard. I was told this by a bloke in a Dublin pub and cannot attest personally to its veracity. It may be untruths. Edited August 14, 20214 yr by Youri McAnespie
August 14, 20214 yr Eamon Holmes finest TV moment was when he was interviewing Jack Stanley (now in Lancashire cricket under 18 development squad)from LH school Harrop fold and he said you must be a Man U fan living in Salford to which Jack replied nah I’m BWFC, fantastic the look on Holmes face. 🤣 Edited August 14, 20214 yr by Mounts Kipper
August 14, 20214 yr 54 minutes ago, deane koontz said: Youri, you're a mad bastard 😂 Cheers, these thoughts occupy my mind day, night and in my sleep. Someone has to speak out.
November 24, 20214 yr More thoughts on beastmaster Holmes... Despite earning £4m a year for being a shambolic wreck on telly and pimping impotence remedies he claims dole, saying 'he can't work'. He goes through three laptops monthly, smashing them and chucking them in the river Liffey, why? He watches bestiality movies on them - mainly farmyard animals - he can't clear his history due to incompetence, so into the river. His soldiers of the Real IRA have been told to kidnap Joanna Lumley - he plans to use her to have sex with pigs whilst he watches and tugs his tiny widgie. The veteran actress will then be 'disposed' of by the pigs after Holmes made disengenous promises of freedom after she'd done his bidding. He disinterred poet Seamus Heany and keeps his remains in his living room in a ghoulish diorama. He has similar plans for U2. He eats pig bladder in a strange desire to prolong life. Drunk on pôitin and high on Lorazepam he raped Anne Robeson - with a dildo, as he is impotent. It killed her....
November 24, 20214 yr 2 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said: More thoughts on beastmaster Holmes... Despite earning £4m a year for being a shambolic wreck on telly and pimping impotence remedies he claims dole, saying 'he can't work'. He goes through three laptops monthly, smashing them and chucking them in the river Liffey, why? He watches bestiality movies on them - mainly farmyard animals - he can't clear his history due to incompetence, so into the river. His soldiers of the Real IRA have been told to kidnap Joanna Lumley - he plans to use her to have sex with pigs whilst he watches and tugs his tiny widgie. The veteran actress will then be 'disposed' of by the pigs after Holmes made disengenous promises of freedom after she'd done his bidding. He disinterred poet Seamus Heany and keeps his remains in his living room in a ghoulish diorama. He has similar plans for U2. He eats pig bladder in a strange desire to prolong life. Drunk on pôitin and high on Lorazepam he raped Anne Robeson - with a dildo, as he is impotent. It killed her.... Fair enough on the U2 plan.
November 24, 20214 yr 11 minutes ago, boltondiver said: Fair enough on the U2 plan. He plans to use The Edge's hat as a gag to subdue Gemma of Find it, fix it, flog it - he will then watch hired goons interfere with her whilst wanking his microcock, then get his pigs to 'dispose' of the scouse upcycler.
November 24, 20214 yr I reckon vicariously through Eamonn Holmes exploits were seeing into Youri's darkest fantasies
November 24, 20214 yr Just now, stevieb said: I reckon vicariously through Eamonn Holmes exploits were seeing into Youri's darkest fantasies I don’t dream as vividly as Youri, it seems.
November 24, 20214 yr 2 hours ago, stevieb said: I reckon vicariously through Eamonn Holmes exploits were seeing into Youri's darkest fantasies I think Eamonn was the one who swiped Youri's Whoops stickered sandwiches.
November 25, 20214 yr 13 hours ago, stevieb said: I reckon vicariously through Eamonn Holmes exploits were seeing into Youri's darkest fantasies 13 hours ago, boltondiver said: I don’t dream as vividly as Youri, it seems. 10 hours ago, Traf said: I think Eamonn was the one who swiped Youri's Whoops stickered sandwiches. A. I am not impotent. B. BD - these are facts. C. I no longer eat like a beggar.
November 25, 20214 yr Another famous Holmes once said “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”. That leads us to the inevitable conclusion that Youri IS Eamonn Holmes.
November 25, 20214 yr 1 hour ago, ErnestTurnip said: Another famous Holmes once said “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”. That leads us to the inevitable conclusion that Youri IS Eamonn Holmes. 54 minutes ago, tomski said: He’s a gimpy rag. I will crush you - scum and gimpy? Unless you mean leather mask type gimp - no. And that quote by animal homes was DeValera.
November 25, 20214 yr Holmes' wife? Kate Garraway - he forced her onto Adultwork and Gregslist, the list he coerced her into listing beggared belief; awo, owo, tp... He'd squandered all his money so pimped kate out. He then bought a Panama hat and cane.
November 25, 20214 yr He redubbed himself E Homes and affected a frankly racist faux Jamaican accent.
November 25, 20214 yr 1 hour ago, Youri McAnespie said: A. I am not impotent. B. BD - these are facts. C. I no longer eat like a beggar. 🤣🤣😂🤣😂
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