On the piss last night on a works do, and I'm stood chatting away with a pint in one had and the other hand by my side.

 

I felt someting touch my hand but though nowt of it for a second as the pub was packed and it could have been someone walking past but then glanced down to see one of the lads was trying to shove his cock in my hand in full view of the rest of the lads stood behind me.

 

He's not wired up properly anyway and was at the front of the queue when they were handing them out, but I had to laugh because he'd done it for a laugh at my expense, fair enough, go with the flow etc.

 

Does this mean I have had a homosexual experience because if it does then I can definatly say I didn't like it.

Did you check to see if it was bigger/smaller than yours?

Mint, mate. I have to say, your posts are getting more and more gay like.

Me and Gumbo used to play football with a lad who wasn't wired up right

 

He was a quality footballer, had a few good contracts but didn't make it at some decent places due to being a bit of a lad

 

Anyway, we're 16 and our old PE teacher (this bit isn't dodgy although it does sound it) asked me to play for this bloke's team at that time I was youngest by a fair bit...the fucked up lad used to chase me around the changing rooms every week slapping my arse with his cock etc.

 

He also used to go to his missus' car for half time blow jobs and him and another fella I know had a competition once summer to see who could shit on the most bizarre places...

 

One of them was winning after shitting through an open sunroof on a car in a pub car park, before the other shit on our Tema Manager's garden....then his wife cut the lawn and ended up covered in excrement. Here the competition ended.

 

But these stories pale into insignificance in copmparison to what the lads in our local cricket team get up to regarding homo-erotic activities...

Mint, mate. I have to say, your posts are getting more and more gay like.

 

 

A lad i knew at Uni had an enormous piece of meat, he used to slap people round the face with it if they fell asleep.

 

Smiths is becoming more tory like with every post, i was away from home at a hotle in wolverhampton when this boy who i admit i do pay for certain things he does for me put his penis in my hand, i tried repeatadly to remove the penis from my hand.

 

this time next week i will have slipped from his hand into his bottom.

A lad I know tells this story about him being at a wedding and on the way back from the bar with hands fully loaded he was making his way through the dancing to his table to deliver said ales. Half way accrooss the dancefloor another lad stopped him and in full view un did the lads fly and whipped out his cock and left him stood there with cock out and hands full of ale

Forgot to say, one of the tricks the lad in my story used to do on a regular basis was in the pub...he would secretly stick his finger as far up his arse as he could, then grip his pint at the top with the offending finger wrapped around the far side of the glass before putting his pint (and shitty finger) under their nose and ask his victim to smell his pint as he thought it was off...

this will be the thread with the most 'a lad i knew' or mate of mine' references since the famous does anyone know anyone who suffers from premature ejaculation thread of 2008.

Did you check to see if it was bigger/smaller than yours?

 

Oh, he's definatly won that competition.

 

Such a shame he's wasting it on an ugly wench though. He could do much better with that.

Oh, he's definatly won that competition.

 

Such a shame he's wasting it on an ugly wench though. He could do much better with that.

 

 

Ani/Pablo are right, you are starting to turn into a gayer. that's the sort of thing a woman'd say!

Should the site be renamed wanderersgays?

 

In a hospital theatre.

 

We were called to Royal Bolton to assist in the delicate matter of cutting a ball-race from the cock of a pervert who thought it'd make a good masturbation aid.

 

We took all out cutting equipment with us and the guy was still consious.

 

If we hadn't managed to cut him free of his shackle the docs were contemplating cutting the dick off. (ex City player I think)

 

By the time we'd done his knob looked like an aubergine!

once youve had cock theres no going back

 

 

 

so im told anyway

Does it count if you're cock rubs against another whilst DP'ing a dirty scouse bird? Just asking like....

Does this mean I have had a homosexual experience because if it does then I can definatly say I didn't like it.

to be fair nobody likes beer, cigarettes or olives when they first try them, but then grow to really like them. Maybe you should ask him to do it a couple more times. You might be missing out...........

i said a scarf was the thin end of the wedge

A lad I know tells this story about him being at a wedding and on the way back from the bar with hands fully loaded he was making his way through the dancing to his table to deliver said ales. Half way accrooss the dancefloor another lad stopped him and in full view un did the lads fly and whipped out his cock and left him stood there with cock out and hands full of ale

 

:: ::

 

I've just stored that one for future wedding do's

A lad I know tells this story about him being at a wedding and on the way back from the bar with hands fully loaded he was making his way through the dancing to his table to deliver said ales. Half way accrooss the dancefloor another lad stopped him and in full view un did the lads fly and whipped out his cock and left him stood there with cock out and hands full of ale

 

Do I know you? That's one of my stories. Oh and it was forever whites sisters 21st not a wedding. Does the bloke who had his tackle taken out have the initials wg?

It tends to be her majesties finest who get up to these kind of things, ive a mate who was in the Para?s, he was always doing daft things, one of his favourite tricks was to shit in a pint pot and leave on the bar! He would also return from the bogs from time to time with pineapple chunks in his mouth then spit it into someone else pint. One time he brought a colleague of his up and they had a game of naked pool using their cocks as cue?s!

 

Another mate was a royal marine. We went away skiing/pissup one year and were stood in this bar when our mate thinks he recognises this other bloke over the other side of the room as another marine, it was confirmed when he saw his watch (apparently they all wear a certain watch?) so he introduced himself. We stood listening while they were exchanging their ranks, battalions where they had served etc, when I looked down and this bloke had his cock in his pint pot filling it up with piss. When he?d finished he passed it to our mate and said ?bottoms up, private? our mate without hesitation swallowed the lot, then returned the favour! Fucking crackers. later that night we had naked conga round the same bar? until the police arrived.

It tends to be her majesties finest who get up to these kind of things, ive a mate who was in the Para?s, he was always doing daft things, one of his favourite tricks was to shit in a pint pot and leave on the bar! He would also return from the bogs from time to time with pineapple chunks in his mouth then spit it into someone else pint. One time he brought a colleague of his up and they had a game of naked pool using their cocks as cue?s!

 

Another mate was a royal marine. We went away skiing/pissup one year and were stood in this bar when our mate thinks he recognises this other bloke over the other side of the room as another marine, it was confirmed when he saw his watch (apparently they all wear a certain watch?) so he introduced himself. We stood listening while they were exchanging their ranks, battalions where they had served etc, when I looked down and this bloke had his cock in his pint pot filling it up with piss. When he?d finished he passed it to our mate and said ?bottoms up, private? our mate without hesitation swallowed the lot, then returned the favour! Fucking crackers. later that night we had naked conga round the same bar? until the police arrived.

 

What the fuck's all that about?

Homosexuality is rife in the forces, allegedly.

It tends to be her majesties finest who get up to these kind of things, ive a mate who was in the Para?s, he was always doing daft things, one of his favourite tricks was to shit in a pint pot and leave on the bar! He would also return from the bogs from time to time with pineapple chunks in his mouth then spit it into someone else pint. One time he brought a colleague of his up and they had a game of naked pool using their cocks as cue?s!

 

Another mate was a royal marine. We went away skiing/pissup one year and were stood in this bar when our mate thinks he recognises this other bloke over the other side of the room as another marine, it was confirmed when he saw his watch (apparently they all wear a certain watch?) so he introduced himself. We stood listening while they were exchanging their ranks, battalions where they had served etc, when I looked down and this bloke had his cock in his pint pot filling it up with piss. When he?d finished he passed it to our mate and said ?bottoms up, private? our mate without hesitation swallowed the lot, then returned the favour! Fucking crackers. later that night we had naked conga round the same bar? until the police arrived.

 

in tottington?

in tottington?

 

the first paragraph yes. although the shit-in-a-pintpot trick was usually if we ventured to Rammy. lads eh!

anyone here ever done a dutch rudder?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N1nfAdJ5yk