For those that questioned why I didn’t attend the game last Saturday, this was why. My daughter asked me to go to the Pride parade with her, have a few drinks, a meal, and generally have a catch up on her life and her website project. She doesn’t live with me so I don’t see her that often so face to face time is very valuable

I’ve highlighted one particular part of her social media post from today. That is a nod to WWays. She was stunned by the response from here. I thank all of you that contributed feedback once again for your support.......

 

 

As some of you may remember, a year ago I set up a website that allows people to submit and share their personal stories regarding mental health, encouraging people to use their voice and realise that they're not going through this alone.

The response I received was absolutely insane. That insane in fact, that I shut it down after a few months as I couldn't cope with managing the website alongside my own mental health.

But now I'm back 💥 I'm in a better place with my mental health, I'm currently in the process of purchasing my first home, and next week I start my dream job as a Teaching Assistant in a special educational needs school.

So I've decided to relaunch my project. A website where you can anonymously submit your mental health story, in the form of poetry, short stories, song lyrics, or simply anything that expresses you.

www.mindofourown.co.uk

Edited August 27, 20196 yr by MancWanderer

Best thing that I ever did was have 3 month off the ale from January last year. Full cold turkey no idea how I did it . It totally reset my relationship with booze , I drink now but nothing like I did. I got an online pt and started going gym 4 times a week I have kept that up and I have lost over 3 stone ,mentally I was on my arse ,I now know that alcohol played a massive part in that. The weight loss has changed my life I feel like I'm running on new software .I'm not daft I know I will always have my demons and the ability to self destruct but I feel a lot more in control than I have ever done.

If  anyone wants to reach out to me about how they are feeling I m happy to listen.

Take care lads, the world can be a daunting place at times.

It's a fucker but I've finally accepted I just can't relax without a beer, so generally don't. Never watch telly unless it's a Sunday night when I've had a beer.

Other 6 days it's work, gym, kids footy, dog walks, keep an eye on the footy cooking,eating tea, work admin and then bed. 

Had 1 day off in the last 7 weeks. But if I have a full weekend off I'll end up drinking for all of it then end up spazzed for Monday and Tuesday.

Does the families head in but it is what it is, I'm like a lodger that just comes in for an hour at night, makes tea and goes to bed

I wish it was different, wish I could sit and chill with a boxset and a brew, but genuinely cant, minds always racing and legs are restless.

Even on holiday I'm up at the crack of sparrow running and gym first thing. I'll do anything to fuck off in the day for a bit, any excuse to be on my own and keep moving.

 

Edited May 18, 20251 yr by gonzo

54 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Apologies for the brutality, but this reads as a play book for alcoholism. 

Have you discussed with with a gp, or an advisor?

No, just my other half who likes her wine, she's the same

I don't think I'm dependant on it, but It's definitely psychological, I like it at the time, I'm not going overboard and getting blind drunk

I've got a load of spirits in the utility room and I don't touch them, not interested, I'd rather not drink than get stuck into them

Used to be the same with weed 

Never smoked it during the day, but once I'd got my day out the way and exercise and all that, I'd enjoy a couple spliffs to unwind, every day

Just need to break the cycle, occasionally

22 minutes ago, gonzo said:

It's a fucker but I've finally accepted I just can't relax without a beer, so generally don't. Never watch telly unless it's a Sunday night when I've had a beer.

Other 6 days it's work, gym, kids footy, dog walks, keep an eye on the footy cooking,eating tea, work admin and then bed. 

Had 1 day off in the last 7 weeks. But if I have a full weekend off I'll end up drinking for all of it then end up spazzed for Monday and Tuesday.

Does the families head in but it is what it is, I'm like a lodger that just comes in for an hour at night, makes tea and goes to bed

I wish it was different, wish I could sit and chill with a boxset and a brew, but genuinely cant, minds always racing and legs are restless.

Even on holiday I'm up at the crack of sparrow running and gym first thing. I'll do anything to fuck off in the day for a bit, any excuse to be on my own and keep moving.

 

Think I'm the same 

Reckon I could lose myself in work and sit at my desk all day doing stuff, keeping busy, earning more

But i want to spend time with the kids of an evening 

And when I sit down to relax with them and the other half it seems like the right time to chill with a beer 

This gym thing I'm doing has two PT sessions a week where you check in on progress etc, Tuesday and Thursday at 7.30pm so reckon that's going to help massively as I only get the urge late afternoon early evening, if no beer by the time kids go to bed I'm fine

I'm also in the middle of a rebrand and need to rebuild my website, so reckon doing that in the evenings will be a good distraction too 

Wasn’t sure who to quote… 

The missus is tired of me being angry; I’m stressed with work, stressed with football, stressed with my house, worried about kids… just generally fed up.

I feel I have achieved nothing, but don’t have the capacity to change. I drink far too much, find it easier to find an excuse to drink rather than a reason not to… I believe I’m a high functioning alchie… but I can’t take that step. I wanna sort it, but on my own terms.

Office move has been on the cards for ages; new place has a gym so I have resisted signing up to another… supposed to have moved last month, least now extended until September! 
 

I know I need break this endless cycle

 

Sorry to pap on- I tend to avoid this thread cos it makes me open up… then I feel an Uber c@nt for not being there for others

28 minutes ago, Zico said:

No, just my other half who likes her wine, she's the same

I don't think I'm dependant on it, but It's definitely psychological, I like it at the time, I'm not going overboard and getting blind drunk

I've got a load of spirits in the utility room and I don't touch them, not interested, I'd rather not drink than get stuck into them

Used to be the same with weed 

Never smoked it during the day, but once I'd got my day out the way and exercise and all that, I'd enjoy a couple spliffs to unwind, every day

Just need to break the cycle, occasionally

Contradiction in terms.

You don't need to be getting pissed all the time have a problem. 

It very definitely is psychological. 

My brother drank too much, and always said he was on top of it.

Until he blood tests came back with a result that said his liver was fucked and he should be dead.

He isn't dead and is in better shape than he should be.

Nevertheless, he quit the booze for a good while, and now drinks substantially less.

A former colleague of my dad liked a very regular drink, but to the best of my knowledge wasn't staggering around continually. 

He woke up in bed one day in a pool of how own blood as his liver had essentially gone to mush and he never came home from hospital. 

1 hour ago, Dr Faustus said:

Wasn’t sure who to quote… 

The missus is tired of me being angry; I’m stressed with work, stressed with football, stressed with my house, worried about kids… just generally fed up.

I feel I have achieved nothing, but don’t have the capacity to change. I drink far too much, find it easier to find an excuse to drink rather than a reason not to… I believe I’m a high functioning alchie… but I can’t take that step. I wanna sort it, but on my own terms.

Office move has been on the cards for ages; new place has a gym so I have resisted signing up to another… supposed to have moved last month, least now extended until September! 
 

I know I need break this endless cycle

 

Sorry to pap on- I tend to avoid this thread cos it makes me open up… then I feel an Uber c@nt for not being there for others

Don't be daft mate. It's good to get it off your chest. It does good just writing it all down.

There's plenty in the same boat, a lot just don't see it as an issue. 

If you realise it's a bit of an issue just start to tone it down a bit. Have the week off etc. Make ale your weekend treat.

If you find you're less angry and stressed/down during the week then you know the ale is large part of it.

...it might not be.

2 hours ago, Dr Faustus said:

Wasn’t sure who to quote… 

The missus is tired of me being angry; I’m stressed with work, stressed with football, stressed with my house, worried about kids… just generally fed up.

I feel I have achieved nothing, but don’t have the capacity to change. I drink far too much, find it easier to find an excuse to drink rather than a reason not to… I believe I’m a high functioning alchie… but I can’t take that step. I wanna sort it, but on my own terms.

Office move has been on the cards for ages; new place has a gym so I have resisted signing up to another… supposed to have moved last month, least now extended until September! 
 

I know I need break this endless cycle

 

Sorry to pap on- I tend to avoid this thread cos it makes me open up… then I feel an Uber c@nt for not being there for others

Got to agree with gonzo,talking or even writing it down really is the best therapy.

Exercise is another especially if you log your progress. Hardest bit is the step over the door. 

Dont worry about  gym membership most do monthly non contract options and some are surprisingly cheap. I paid £300 last year at Bolton arena and that includes classes that I never go to.

As with anything 1st step is the hardest, I found myself at doctors for something non mental. Doctor asked me if there was anything else and I just spewed my guts out to him right there and then. I was in half an hour ,he obviously saw I was a bit fucked. It sounds dramatic but I reckon he saved my life that day, he certainly saved me from ending up in the gutter, 

If you can then talk to your GP  if not talk to folk on here, I suffered for years before finally admiting to myself that it wasn't a battle I could win alone

 

State of our kids leg. 2 years and 7 months on

 

2 minutes ago, gonzo said:

State of our kids leg. 2 years and 7 months on

 

Fuck me that is grim 

How's he been doing?

3 minutes ago, gonzo said:

State of our kids leg. 2 years and 7 months on

 

Fucking hell mate, that doesn't look right. Has he got an infection or something?

Christ, that looks horrendous. 

Looks like it's infected. 

Will it get better?

9 hours ago, gonzo said:

How is everyone doing?

 

Firstly I hope that everyone whom is having issues finds resolution and wish you all the best

Me? I’m utterly exhausted (both physically and mentally) with work. Last 8 weeks have seem me spend more nights away than at home at congresses working exhibition stands. Ironically I’ve found the way to get through it is to be even more active - cycling, swimming, gardening, etc. I’ve spent every possible hour outside doing summat. Might not work for everyone but it’s what keeps me sane

3 hours ago, L/H White said:

Fuck me that is grim 

How's he been doing?

 

3 hours ago, Winchester White said:

Fucking hell mate, that doesn't look right. Has he got an infection or something?

 

3 hours ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Christ, that looks horrendous. 

Looks like it's infected. 

Will it get better?

Lads having an absolute nightmare.

His leg is forever plagued with infections, sores, ulcers etc.

His skin is like a patchwork quilt, one big skin transplant and loads of scar tissue etc. A bit of dry skin leads to a break then that leads to a big opening then infection.

Proper feel for the lad. His leg there looks ready to drop off, his other riddled with arthritis.

No end in sight

Kinell.

Are there loads of metal pins etc in there?

Harks back to my dad's hip replacement, which became infected post surgery.

Metalwork notorious source of infection, according the his doctors.

Is there a chance he will end up losing the leg?

 

i need to talk to a GP

but as i am scared about it , has anyone tried that Andys shed thing ?

19 minutes ago, crawshawbooth said:

i need to talk to a GP

but as i am scared about it , has anyone tried that Andys shed thing ?

Hi mate. If you've got a Bolton GP - they also have people called mental health practitioners working for them. So you might be able to bypass the GP altogether if you find that easier. 

And I never hear anything but good things about Andy's Man Club! 👍

25 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Kinell.

Are there loads of metal pins etc in there?

Harks back to my dad's hip replacement, which became infected post surgery.

Metalwork notorious source of infection, according the his doctors.

Is there a chance he will end up losing the leg?

 

Aye mate that's a serious possibility now.

It was 50/50 going in to his first op and now he's 9 ops down the line and still riddled with problems.

well one BBQ and 8 cans later, I'm feel I'm ready to get things moving in the right direction

done a gym session to sweat it all out, healthy lunch, and the additional gym program starts tomorrow

let's do this

1 hour ago, Zico said:

well one BBQ and 8 cans later, I'm feel I'm ready to get things moving in the right direction

done a gym session to sweat it all out, healthy lunch, and the additional gym program starts tomorrow

let's do this

Next drink at weekend. By order of the Wanderersways gays health and wellbeing division.

Earn it 🏋️‍💪

Edited May 19, 20251 yr by gonzo

Pretty sure I've just passed another (piece of) kidney stone.

Another one still in there supposedly.

Be fucking well happy if the fucker follows suits and fucks off out.

Old man from Japan is still stinging a bit.

 

3 hours ago, crawshawbooth said:

i need to talk to a GP

but as i am scared about it , has anyone tried that Andys shed thing ?

There isn't one near me but if there was i think i would go, various mates around the country go to it and say it is a good thing.   

On 18/05/2025 at 07:41, gonzo said:

How is everyone doing?

Tip top, mate.

Cut the drinking down to one day a week, started eating healthily and doing about 90 mins/6 miles fairly brisk walking (2 x 45 mins). Wife's away in Oz, so it's just me the dogs and some peace. Work is steady but not record breaking and I've lost 26lbs in 6 weeks.

10 hours ago, Traf said:

Tip top, mate.

Cut the drinking down to one day a week, started eating healthily and doing about 90 mins/6 miles fairly brisk walking (2 x 45 mins). Wife's away in Oz, so it's just me the dogs and some peace. Work is steady but not record breaking and I've lost 26lbs in 6 weeks.

have you got those aids again?

On 19/05/2025 at 11:08, Zico said:

well one BBQ and 8 cans later, I'm feel I'm ready to get things moving in the right direction

done a gym session to sweat it all out, healthy lunch, and the additional gym program starts tomorrow

let's do this

You smashing it Zeeks?