For those that questioned why I didn’t attend the game last Saturday, this was why. My daughter asked me to go to the Pride parade with her, have a few drinks, a meal, and generally have a catch up on her life and her website project. She doesn’t live with me so I don’t see her that often so face to face time is very valuable

I’ve highlighted one particular part of her social media post from today. That is a nod to WWays. She was stunned by the response from here. I thank all of you that contributed feedback once again for your support.......

 

 

As some of you may remember, a year ago I set up a website that allows people to submit and share their personal stories regarding mental health, encouraging people to use their voice and realise that they're not going through this alone.

The response I received was absolutely insane. That insane in fact, that I shut it down after a few months as I couldn't cope with managing the website alongside my own mental health.

But now I'm back 💥 I'm in a better place with my mental health, I'm currently in the process of purchasing my first home, and next week I start my dream job as a Teaching Assistant in a special educational needs school.

So I've decided to relaunch my project. A website where you can anonymously submit your mental health story, in the form of poetry, short stories, song lyrics, or simply anything that expresses you.

www.mindofourown.co.uk

Edited August 27, 20196 yr by MancWanderer

9 hours ago, Krimzon said:

Setting unrealistic goals and therefore setting yourself up to fail is a symptom . 

It's not even unrealistic I don't think

I want to only drink Friday or Saturday unless I'm out for a gig or something 

I'll have a beer tonight because it's Saturday

Then my aim is to not have one till Thursday watching the Huddersfield match on sky down the pub

6 hours ago, Ani said:

Must have been a rough day mate.

Very brave to go the place it happened, not sure I could do that. 

Aye 

Sorry for your loss @wanderer1984

 At least it provided a little closure for you. 
 

Take it easy this weekend 

43 minutes ago, Zico said:

It's not even unrealistic I don't think

I want to only drink Friday or Saturday unless I'm out for a gig or something 

I'll have a beer tonight because it's Saturday

Then my aim is to not have one till Thursday watching the Huddersfield match on sky down the pub

If you frequently fail to hit that target, then maybe it is unrealistic. 

Maybe try to do it for one week initially (beginning of the month) then relax, and do the same at the beginning of the next month.

Less pressure, and then you'll feel better.

More confidence to step it up later, and maybe do it every other week.

Part of my CBT involved doing very small, but difficult tasks. When you're really struggling they're difficult. 

Do one thing, then enjoy the fact that you've done it, and relax a little and maybe reward yourself. 

Build from there.

On 11/10/2025 at 07:48, Zico said:

It's not even unrealistic I don't think

I want to only drink Friday or Saturday unless I'm out for a gig or something 

I'll have a beer tonight because it's Saturday

Then my aim is to not have one till Thursday watching the Huddersfield match on sky down the pub

managed to get through 4 nights without having a beer, and feel great for it, physcially and mentally

was touch and go yesterday, i seem to go through this period from around 4pm-7pm thinking "fuck it, have a beer", but later the evening it passes

under normal circumstances I think I'd have happily not had a beer tonight but no chance I'm going the pub with mates to watch match and not have a beer

then the aim would normally be to go again Sunday-Thurs  next week without a beer, but it's half term and I'm off to haven for Mon-Fri which normally means every day and starting early

so all the good work from this week likely to go to shit

but

i can do it next time i need to, in terms of abstaining

13 minutes ago, Zico said:

managed to get through 4 nights without having a beer, and feel great for it, physcially and mentally

was touch and go yesterday, i seem to go through this period from around 4pm-7pm thinking "fuck it, have a beer", but later the evening it passes

under normal circumstances I think I'd have happily not had a beer tonight but no chance I'm going the pub with mates to watch match and not have a beer

then the aim would normally be to go again Sunday-Thurs  next week without a beer, but it's half term and I'm off to haven for Mon-Fri which normally means every day and starting early

so all the good work from this week likely to go to shit

but

i can do it next time i need to, in terms of abstaining

Exactly. You know you can do it. Enjoy the weekend (incl. Tonight), enjoy next week then get your focus back. The main thing is on the nights you earmark to not have a drink, is to fill that time. That 7-10 period where you'd normally have a drink. Do something else. Walk, Cycling machine, Go for a drive - Even just go to bed early. All helps to break that cycle

2 hours ago, Zico said:

managed to get through 4 nights without having a beer, and feel great for it, physcially and mentally

was touch and go yesterday, i seem to go through this period from around 4pm-7pm thinking "fuck it, have a beer", but later the evening it passes

under normal circumstances I think I'd have happily not had a beer tonight but no chance I'm going the pub with mates to watch match and not have a beer

then the aim would normally be to go again Sunday-Thurs  next week without a beer, but it's half term and I'm off to haven for Mon-Fri which normally means every day and starting early

so all the good work from this week likely to go to shit

but

i can do it next time i need to, in terms of abstaining

You know, I actually sleep better if I don't drink in the evening and wake up feeling a lot fresher... and I always though alcohol knocked you out!

38 minutes ago, Dimron said:

You know, I actually sleep better if I don't drink in the evening and wake up feeling a lot fresher... and I always though alcohol knocked you out!

One of the main reasons for a hangover is the lack of deep sleep. Your sleep quality is severely reduced after alcohol

57 minutes ago, boltonboris said:

One of the main reasons for a hangover is the lack of deep sleep. Your sleep quality is severely reduced after alcohol

Tell me about it. 

I've only ever had 5 seizures.

4 of them the day after the night before.

It's an evil at times.

Anyhow, I'm hoping my lad has had a mini breakthrough in his struggles.

His blood pressure is off the scale for a young, fit bloke.

Vision being affected amongst other things.

All (or very largely) caused by anxiety/stress.

Been there and don't want him to go through the same.

Daft thing is, witnessing someone struggling pulls you down too.

Felt terrible this morning through worrying about him.

Then got a call off him- very unusually- and he sounded so different. He'd had a chat with OH at work, and they're going to help sort him out.

A different voice helping him, and a bit if a light came on.

If he can get right, then we can all be happy.

2 or 3 fucking minutes eh!

More misery as full time approached. 

Followed by 2 or 3 hours of intense buzzing.

Hormones are twats! 🤣

On 16/10/2025 at 13:43, Zico said:

managed to get through 4 nights without having a beer, and feel great for it, physcially and mentally

was touch and go yesterday, i seem to go through this period from around 4pm-7pm thinking "fuck it, have a beer", but later the evening it passes

under normal circumstances I think I'd have happily not had a beer tonight but no chance I'm going the pub with mates to watch match and not have a beer

then the aim would normally be to go again Sunday-Thurs  next week without a beer, but it's half term and I'm off to haven for Mon-Fri which normally means every day and starting early

so all the good work from this week likely to go to shit

but

i can do it next time i need to, in terms of abstaining

Bet that was a belting session in the pub 😄

Enjoy your holiday mate, your hard work won’t go to shit. Have a guilt free break

21 minutes ago, London Wanderer said:

Bet that was a belting session in the pub 😄

Enjoy your holiday mate, your hard work won’t go to shit. Have a guilt free break

aye, 2 bolton and 1 huddersfield

treated them with my winnings to a couple of 7% west coast ipas to finish the night off

in the gym at 9.30am

hard work

If you're feeling shit, down, anxious or suicidal lads..

 

Just watch this video. All will be good.

 

On 16/10/2025 at 14:01, boltonboris said:

Exactly. You know you can do it. Enjoy the weekend (incl. Tonight), enjoy next week then get your focus back. The main thing is on the nights you earmark to not have a drink, is to fill that time. That 7-10 period where you'd normally have a drink. Do something else. Walk, Cycling machine, Go for a drive - Even just go to bed early. All helps to break that cycle

That's my issue a bit, in the week, boredom in that period after tea, if I'm busy having a drink doesn't really come into my mind. If I do have a night or two off it in the week I do sleep better and notice once I've been up an hour or so I feel sharper.

I posted about this in the politics thread in response to a 'politician' suggested some children diagnosed with ADHD were just "nuisances" and that the root cause of the illness was "bad parenting"

Iva also been being treated for anxiety for the past 20 years.

I'm not going to lie, it was really hard for me to type this, put it out in the public domain and it's been hard to tell certain members of my family due to how people think it's a made up disease, when I know how much I've suffered with it.

I got diagnosed with it about 6 weeks ago, I'm 40. It's a ridiculously complex illness with a lot of symptoms. I have the issues with concentration and it's not about effort I can force myself to read the same page of something 40 times and not have actually read it because my brain is having a chat with itself about something else, just one example. Another one is I can get hyper focused on one thing to worry about and it can go on for weeks. Just a couple of examples. The meds have been great but not without their issues and I can to a lot of stuff I couldn't on the past. I was given the QB test and scored in the 98th percentile of people suffering with ADHD meaning my performance in that specific area (inattention, impulsivity, or activity) was higher than 98% of people in the age and gender-matched control group. Which is quite a relief because I have actually been fired from jobs from not concentrating and making stupid mistakes or getting overwhelmed and my brain shutting down, regardless of how hard I had been trying.

 

I've been titrating on Elvanse and its been hard. Oddly, I actually was able to sleep on it during its peak effects, which is funny as its basically speed! But its helping my concentration which has been a godsend.

Oh and I don't claim PIP nor do I have any intention of doing even though with comorbid anxiety I could. I work full time and have a degree.

Didn't know where else to post but yesterday I had the pleasure of being there while a bloke/customer casually opened a letter as he was talking to me at his front door.

He was listening to me tell him about Brighton apparently wanting Duberry to stay at Bolton as he glanced down at the letter. It told him he was now cancer free after a massive long battle.

Fella got all teary and I was the first person he could find to hug then shouted his Mrs.

What a mad few seconds a glimmer in to someone's life. The relief on his face was unreal. 

I think we will all feel the same when Dubbery is still here on the 1st of Feb

On 17/10/2025 at 20:43, gonzo said:

If you're feeling shit, down, anxious or suicidal lads..

 

Just watch this video. All will be good.

 

disgusting tits for a fella of his age

1 hour ago, gonzo said:

Didn't know where else to post but yesterday I had the pleasure of being there while a bloke/customer casually opened a letter as he was talking to me at his front door.

He was listening to me tell him about Brighton apparently wanting Duberry to stay at Bolton as he glanced down at the letter. It told him he was now cancer free after a massive long battle.

Fella got all teary and I was the first person he could find to hug then shouted his Mrs.

What a mad few seconds a glimmer in to someone's life. The relief on his face was unreal. 

I think we will all feel the same when Dubbery is still here on the 1st of Feb

"Er ok but what did I just say about Duberry?"

3 minutes ago, Zico said:

"Er ok but what did I just say about Duberry?"

Trying to teach him the song and all he was interested in was some silly letter the selfish prick.

12 hours ago, gonzo said:

Didn't know where else to post but yesterday I had the pleasure of being there while a bloke/customer casually opened a letter as he was talking to me at his front door.

He was listening to me tell him about Brighton apparently wanting Duberry to stay at Bolton as he glanced down at the letter. It told him he was now cancer free after a massive long battle.

Fella got all teary and I was the first person he could find to hug then shouted his Mrs.

What a mad few seconds a glimmer in to someone's life. The relief on his face was unreal. 

I think we will all feel the same when Dubbery is still here on the 1st of Feb

I’m more interested in what his Mrs had to say when she came downstairs and saw her fella hugging the window cleaner 😂

Great story - as you say a lovely moment to be part of 👏

Lefty beeb propaganda  reports on a survey of GPs about diagnosis of mental illness.

Would be very interesting to see a demographic breakdown of their practices.

1 hour ago, green genie said:

Lefty beeb propaganda  reports on a survey of GPs about diagnosis of mental illness.

Would be very interesting to see a demographic breakdown of their practices.

I’m new to suffering from anxiety & stress, began about 18 months ago, work related, anyhow I basically hardly slept for 18 months, ended up wife had to sleep in the other bedroom as I was tossing & turning and cursing all night.

I hate taking medication so after seeing doctor she gave me some pills anyhow read the side effects and thought fuck that, carried on working through with little sleep luckily my job ain’t physical.

I spoke to a few people and read on here folk who recommended sertraline, looked into what it was and thought what it does makes sense and might help.

I am a couple of months in taking it and sleeping really well anxiety while not perfect is better, wife moved back in to the bedroom and things are much better.

Sertraline helps preserve the serotonin which is a big factor in sleep and mood.  Anyhow the upshot of 18 months anxiety is I’m 10kilos lighter🤣

Thought I’d share this as it might help some folk. Also I recommend this chap.

 https://nickwignall.com/morning-anxiety/

Edited December 6, 2025Dec 6 by Mounts Kipper

Glad your feeling better Mounts 👍

That's brilliant to read Mounts.

Keep going pal x

3 hours ago, Mounts Kipper said:

I’m new to suffering from anxiety & stress, began about 18 months ago, work related, anyhow I basically hardly slept for 18 months, ended up wife had to sleep in the other bedroom as I was tossing & turning and cursing all night.

I hate taking medication so after seeing doctor she gave me some pills anyhow read the side effects and thought fuck that, carried on working through with little sleep luckily my job ain’t physical.

I spoke to a few people and read on here folk who recommended sertraline, looked into what it was and thought what it does makes sense and might help.

I am a couple of months in taking it and sleeping really well anxiety while not perfect is better, wife moved back in to the bedroom and things are much better.

Sertraline helps preserve the serotonin which is a big factor in sleep and mood.  Anyhow the upshot of 18 months anxiety is I’m 10kilos lighter🤣

Thought I’d share this as it might help some folk. Also I recommend this chap.

 https://nickwignall.com/morning-anxiety/

Glad you're feeling better mate

3 hours ago, Mounts Kipper said:

I’m new to suffering from anxiety & stress, began about 18 months ago, work related, anyhow I basically hardly slept for 18 months, ended up wife had to sleep in the other bedroom as I was tossing & turning and cursing all night.

I hate taking medication so after seeing doctor she gave me some pills anyhow read the side effects and thought fuck that, carried on working through with little sleep luckily my job ain’t physical.

I spoke to a few people and read on here folk who recommended sertraline, looked into what it was and thought what it does makes sense and might help.

I am a couple of months in taking it and sleeping really well anxiety while not perfect is better, wife moved back in to the bedroom and things are much better.

Sertraline helps preserve the serotonin which is a big factor in sleep and mood.  Anyhow the upshot of 18 months anxiety is I’m 10kilos lighter🤣

Thought I’d share this as it might help some folk. Also I recommend this chap.

 https://nickwignall.com/morning-anxiety/

Good to hear mounts. But whatever you do - and I am speaking from personal experience - DO NOT just stop taking them at some point, even if you feel the best you've ever felt. Coming off them needs to be properly controlled, as the withdrawal symptoms can be fucking mad.

Edited December 6, 2025Dec 6 by Cheese