Slow news day? The real deal? End of the world? 
 

They’re saying it probably came from an animal, has Somebody been shagging monkeys again? 

23 minutes ago, MickyD said:

What’s to stop you swilling your bottle of piss round your mouth to get it up to body temp? 
 

Always thinking! 🤣

Or always keep a plastic test tube of "clean" piss up your arse, so it's always the right temperature, just in case you're asked to provide a sample at any given point

11 minutes ago, Sweep said:

Or always keep a plastic test tube of "clean" piss up your arse, so it's always the right temperature, just in case you're asked to provide a sample at any given point

See, no issues insurmountable.

Surely the piss bag is kept in your pants under your bollocks?

The way with this is when you get the shout you have a device that's kind of like a balloon with a tube attached to it, the balloon being full of clean piss. Balloon gets put in your armpit, tube goes down the side of your body and then under owd fella. You squeeze the balloon to fake a piss, tester can even watch you doing it as it appears to be coming out normally and it's warm cos of being under in your armpit.

Used to be all the rage in the sporting world.

How far off herd immunity are they in Brazil?

I used to do piss tests (50-70 a day) and had to watch the person pissing in a plastic cup, they tried every scam going but if the piss tester is doing his/her job there is no way round it

18 minutes ago, athywhite1958 said:

I used to do piss tests (50-70 a day) and had to watch the person pissing in a plastic cup, they tried every scam going but if the piss tester is doing his/her job there is no way round it

Are you saying

That you had to stare at 50-70 penis tips every day?

 

No, one day a week, it was part of our voluntary piss testing programme

1 minute ago, athywhite1958 said:

No, one day a week, it was part of our voluntary piss testing programme

You had to look at 50+ penis tips one day a week?

I can’t compute the horror

18 minutes ago, athywhite1958 said:

No, one day a week, it was part of our voluntary piss testing programme

Voluntary? For who,  testers or testees? (Pun intended) 

Surely those you were looking to catch for drug or other substance misuse would just not volunteer. 

3 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

You can go on holiday via the new Government traffic light system.

A PCR test is required that you may need to pay for.

Apparently the LFT are not good enough, the same ones you can collect from a pharmacy for free that the Government states are totally reliable 👀

So the LFT are not worth shit, you can pick holes in all this shit, its pointless going abroad, its not worth all the quarantine shite that comes with it, you go on fucking holiday to relax.

Sounds to me like it just means less riff raff spoiling your view.

Even Benidorm might not be a complete sewer this year.

Bring it on

26 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

You can go on holiday via the new Government traffic light system.

A PCR test is required that you may need to pay for.

Apparently the LFT are not good enough, the same ones you can collect from a pharmacy for free that the Government states are totally reliable 👀

So the LFT are not worth shit, you can pick holes in all this shit, its pointless going abroad, its not worth all the quarantine shite that comes with it, you go on fucking holiday to relax.

There's no money in letting you use an LFT 😉

44 minutes ago, MickyD said:

Voluntary? For who,  testers or testees? (Pun intended) 

Surely those you were looking to catch for drug or other substance misuse would just not volunteer. 

It was a scheme in every 'establishment' in Germany where patrons/customers could earn more privileges by proving they were 'clean', it worked on a certification system, Bronze for 4, Silver for 8, Gold for 12 and so on, provide a positive and it's back down to zero but no sanctions

Edited April 9, 20215 yr by athywhite1958
mis spell

1 minute ago, Mr Grey said:

I hop you do okay out of it 👍

Cheers, but I think our industry is fucked for this year.

We're going to have a traffic light system from mid-May onwards...

The requirements for green, amber and red list countries are as follows:

 

Green: Travellers will need to take a pre-departure test as well as a PCR test on or before day 2 of their arrival back into the UK but will not need to quarantine on return (unless they receive a positive result) or take any additional tests, halving the cost of tests on their return from holiday

 

Amber: Travellers will need to take a pre-departure test as well as a PCR test and then arrivals into the UK will need to quarantine for a period of 10 days and take a PCR test on day 2 and day 8 with the option for Test to Release on day 5 to end self-isolation early

 

Red: Arrivals will be subject to restrictions currently in place for ‘red list’ countries which includes a 10-day stay in a managed quarantine hotel, pre-departure testing and PCR testing on day 2 and 8.

 

 

Irrespective of whether you've been vaccinated.

 

PS, that's what we've been told to expect to hear on Monday from the £25m briefing room.

12 minutes ago, Traf said:

We're going to have a traffic light system from mid-May onwards...

The requirements for green, amber and red list countries are as follows:

 

Green: Travellers will need to take a pre-departure test as well as a PCR test on or before day 2 of their arrival back into the UK but will not need to quarantine on return (unless they receive a positive result) or take any additional tests, halving the cost of tests on their return from holiday

 

Amber: Travellers will need to take a pre-departure test as well as a PCR test and then arrivals into the UK will need to quarantine for a period of 10 days and take a PCR test on day 2 and day 8 with the option for Test to Release on day 5 to end self-isolation early

 

Red: Arrivals will be subject to restrictions currently in place for ‘red list’ countries which includes a 10-day stay in a managed quarantine hotel, pre-departure testing and PCR testing on day 2 and 8.

 

 

Irrespective of whether you've been vaccinated.

 

What colour is Spain?

Just now, Spider said:

What colour is Spain?

Generally, a murky brown.

1 minute ago, Traf said:

Generally, a murky brown.

Sounds like it swerves the traffic light system then, brill

1 minute ago, Mr Grey said:

Anyway does this vaccine work, it seems the decisions being made subsequently are to the contrary.

Covid Vaccine = Game Changer 🙄

It clearly does,

But there are 2 major problems for this year:

1. Not enough people have had it

2. Bringing variants back that can dodge the vaccine may still be a risk

 

Hence, they don't want anyone to travel abroad.

1 minute ago, Spider said:

Sounds like it swerves the traffic light system then, brill

May 10th is expected to be the day they announce the first set of colours for a May 17th opening of travel with the likelihood of reassessments upwards every 5 weeks, but only 5 days max warning for a downgrade in status.

ie Amber to Green will probably be a 5 week job, but Green to Amber almost instantly.

 

been submitting regular updates to the ZOE Covid Sympton app for the past year

just got this email from them

hope they are right

 

 

 

 

What's the crack with Belarus? Dying to go somewhere and forget the thing even exists to be honest. 

37 minutes ago, Mr Grey said:

Anyway does this vaccine work, it seems the decisions being made subsequently are to the contrary.

Covid Vaccine = Game Changer 🙄

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/covid-19-vaccines-have-prevented-10-400-deaths-in-older-adults