I;ve worked in prisons since 1987 and I could not do time

I did my part putting fires out during the Strangeways riots. I almost got stabbed when a knife attached  to a broom handle came poking out of the window I was putting water into. I don’t think I could do time either. 

Edited November 19, 20205 yr by MickyD

Is the day one rule still going up to the biggest meanest looking prisoner and shagging him to assert your dominance ?

3 minutes ago, Rudy said:

Is the day one rule still going up to the biggest meanest looking prisoner and shagging him to assert your dominance ?

Obviously. Here’s a training video which should help keep your arsehole virginal... (I’m making an assumption here)

 

 

2 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I've got a hankering for a BACON barm this morning.

Probably nip to this truck nearby.

Really got a taste for bacon today.

Have you? Not mentioned it....

36 minutes ago, athywhite1958 said:

I;ve worked in prisons since 1987 and I could not do time

I've worked as a builder in prisons and care homes and I know where I'd prefer to end up and its not the place stinking of piss. If I end up on my own and unwanted I'll go out and wipe out as many granny rapists and scumbags as I can then tell the judge to lock me up.

Bought premium Krispy Kreme donuts at tesco before and scanned them as the original glazed ones

Could have been a 10 stretch if rumbled

 

14 minutes ago, Bigtoe said:

Bought premium Krispy Kreme donuts at tesco before and scanned them as the original glazed ones

Could have been a 10 stretch if rumbled

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/officer-may-be-sacked-for-sticking-7p-carrot-barcode-on-krispy-kreme-doughnuts-box-12134500

Should have stuck a 7p whoopsie sticker on it like the bacon do

39 minutes ago, Bigtoe said:

Bought premium Krispy Kreme donuts at tesco before and scanned them as the original glazed ones

Could have been a 10 stretch if rumbled

 

ha ha! Reminds me of the trip to Arsenal for the FA Cup replay. Me and wife had been invited to fill two spaces in a mini-bus from Rocket. 
Shoplifting all way down. Me and wife buying snacks, choccy, crisps, etc., and insisting on receipts. 
What a trip though.

My mam out a pack of pampers on the bottom of the Pram when shopping with r kid, she had a basket in one hand abs pushing the pram, she got to the till abs forgot about the nappies, got all the way home then realised.

She is absolutely mortified if you bring it up now it was like 22 years ago 😂

1 hour ago, Mr Grey said:

I did time once, or it felt like it, stayed with a bird for 13 years that I didnt particularly like.

That's not unusual, very common in fact these days and getting more so.  

Most men i know go through a hen-pecked, tedious existence. Frightened to do anything about it, for fear of either being alone or worried about what people & society would think.   

Anyway back to the subject, there must be a few ex-jailbirds on here surely?

6 minutes ago, captainmed said:

That's not unusual, very common in fact these days and getting more so.  

Most men i know go through a hen-pecked, tedious existence. Frightened to do anything about it, for fear of either being alone or worried about what people & society would think.   

Anyway back to the subject, there must be a few ex-jailbirds on here surely?

Took me 10 years.

Funnily enough, never been in trouble with the police.

I did get stopped one tine leaving Kent's mansion on Halliwell at stupid time in the morning after a day on speed and loads of weed after playing some odd gig in Northamptonshire. Was a bumbling, paranoid wreck. Thankfully they were astute to ascertain I was completely harmless.

Why the fuck would anyone who has been to prison feel the need to tell the whole world on here just because some random WUM has asked the question?

 

27 minutes ago, DazBob said:

Why the fuck would anyone who has been to prison feel the need to tell the whole world on here just because some random WUM has asked the question?

 

Might find it a big relief. 

Might be useful for others to share some knowledge of German. 

A matter of choice though, no one has to say anything. 

58 minutes ago, DazBob said:

Why the fuck would anyone who has been to prison feel the need to tell the whole world on here just because some random WUM has asked the question?

 

Are you having a bad day Dazzy? Feel free to let loose on here 👍

8 minutes ago, wanderer1984 said:

Are you having a bad day Dazzy? Feel free to let loose on here 👍

Not at all

Cheers,

Dazzy

12 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

'Kin ell - stinks of bacon reading this.

Probably next door grilling bacon.

THIS

3 hours ago, Rudy said:

Is the day one rule still going up to the biggest meanest looking prisoner and shagging him to assert your dominance ?

yes Little Whitt is the mummy 

come hear big black barry and suck mummys cock 

😂

13 minutes ago, little whitt said:

yes Little Whitt is the mummy 

come hear big black barry and suck mummys cock 

Never fails to raise a smile by lowering the tone.

Love you, Whitt xx

 

41 minutes ago, wanderer1984 said:

Are you having a bad day Dazzy? Feel free to let loose on here 👍

To be fair, Dazzy has been ‘letting loose’ on here for quite a while. I reckon he’s more likely to respond to a post he agrees with or disagrees with than he is to your attempt at goading a response.

Just saying like.

2 hours ago, DazBob said:

Why the fuck would anyone who has been to prison feel the need to tell the whole world on here just because some random WUM has asked the question?

 

He's not a random - we all know him, it's Bill I think...

45 minutes ago, little whitt said:

yes Little Whitt is the mummy 

come hear big black barry and suck mummys cock 

I'd love to read your tales from Germany 

Mein Kampf by little whitt

2 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

He's not a random - we all know him, it's Bill I think...

Old Bill?

That's the bloke, Traf.