Compo

Haha, they're all getting wankered on puffer fish.

Not on xbox one is it? My mate reckons he can shout at his telly to make subs.

Over 13 hours since the question was asked and no one has suggested the balloon trick? This place is going to the dogs.

Bullshit. You'll be saying there's no father christmas next.

Haha legend. You just wouldn't even risk saying something like that just in case.

Just pull into the middle lane and put your foot down. They soon pull in behind you when their shitty 1.6 A4 doesn't have the guts to overtake you.

Sotty and his crutches in with the fans at Wrexham.

Cashiers that bite their nails/fingers in mouth before they serve you. Delivery drivers who have the pen in their mouth that they expect you to use to sign for a delivery. Fast lane drivers doing 71mph who refuse to move over. The fact that anything with one direction on costs four times more and one of/or both of my daughters will want one. Fuck off!

Remember as a kid Brum bringing the world with them to Burnden, that fan climbing the floodlight in their end. Same game was stood outside the ticket office with my old man waiting for one of his mates to meet us. Brum fan came running over screaming something, was just going to stick one on the first person he got to. Bloke stood next to my old man just seemed to stick his fist out, Brum fan ran onto it and knocked himself out. Remember special Darren away at wiggin at their old ground, trying to kick the ball back over the fencing about 10 times and every time it bounced back off the fence everyone cheering him. Someone from LL chucking a brew at Beckham at Burnden when he took a throw in?

Sounds like a summary of the last stag do I went on. MVG for the win on the basis snakehead is a porridge wog.

Tip facking top Been debating whether or not to buy a fridge freezer in the sales from currys, will defo go for it now cheers.

Barney out!

Haha that video is spot on! Spotted someone flicking the v's at the home fans mid celebration, don't know why but I always do the same

Not sure if it was a cow, but remember seeing something/someone dead in the carriageway after the Munich (might have been Madrid?) game covered with one of those tinfoil sheet things.

Michael Ricketts.

Was 18 and out with my girlfriends family for her grandmas 70th at some fancy golf club. Trying to impress everyone and keep up with her dad and uncles drinking pace, was absolutely wankered. Her mum was driving us all home and I had to shout to tell her to stop the car so I could be sick. Opened the door but managed to throw up all over myself and the car door. I also shat my pants in the process. Was an awkward journey home.

Bought no 2 daughter an ipod touch the other week from currys. Just went for the cheapest one (#tightcunt). Got it home and out of the box only to discover it had no camera which is what the kids seem to use all the time. Read the returns policy and as you state has to be unopened. Spent 20 mins making sure it was all packaged back up as it came and luckily they swapped it for a proper one. Must admit they made a big deal about it being 'unopened' and if I had opened it I would have been stuck with it. I had already decided before I went in store I was either leaving with a replacement or being carried out by security. Have to agree, how the fuck are you supposed to assess something properly without opening it (unless they have a full display model). Was planning on buying a new fridge freezer from there but seeing how they operate I wont bother, seem a right shower of shite.

Family party thing at de veres. Robbing bastards.

Took me 2 1/2 hours to get to Stockport the other week, honestly thought I was going to have to stop for a piss on the hard shoulder. Only problem I have in a morning is that for some reason, if I've held a piss in for too long once I let it go my guts take over and decide I'd best have a shit too. So the first thing I did in a prospective clients office as soon as I got there was stink their reception area out. Just so you know

Well, that's the first time I've ever ruined xfactor by laughing out load at a three foot long dildo falling out of someones arse. The gonzo sickens me!

Martin said he's scared

@thegonzo I have My mate Martin has whatsapp installed and would like to peruse your collection of videos. How would he go about joining your 'video club'? Thanks.

What happens when you start to loose back pressure? Do you have to retrace your steps, or do you piss on the floor and shuffle a towel around on the floor before putting it back on the radiator?

I can. http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/Fake-News/ss/NBC-Confirms-That-friends-Is-Returning-For-Comeback-Season.htm Thank fuck for that.

Bear shits in woods shocker.