Bea Smith

Hound him NB! Hound him!

As NB points out- what else is this woman capable of? Blackmail and stalking come to mind. You say she could have pretty much anyone, but she chooses to fuck up a friendship and a marriage. Dont even think for 2 seconds that he will either get away with it or be forgiven. If he has to mess around, then not on his own doorstep or with anyone the wife knows. Thats what meat market pubs are for!

My first thought was- No way can anyone eat 25,000 burgers in one go. 2nd was- You stupid woman 3rd- he cant be the first yank to have eaten 25,000 burgers. he's just the first one weird enough to count em.

I shall use my private Jet, f*ck you...peasant!

It makes our lives harder, I have to use far more brain cells trying to understand txt spk. I wouldnt want to have to decipher Arabic everytime i got a text, and its pretty much the same.

wheres the delete button gone? ive only been gone for...er...a couple of years. oooh its all changed!

Reet, Car insurance has been paid and the policy runs out on the 9th June. All was well. I recieved a letter to say a payment to my insurance company has bounced and rang them to query it. The insurance company say this was as a deposit for my new policy. They havnt even sent out a renewal policy for me to look at. They have admitted they havnt sent me anything but the still attempted to take moey as a deposit for something i didnt know anout. No doubt they will have me sticthed up via the terms and conditions somewhere. So do i Kick the woman who answered in the front bum with pre sharpened winkle pickers or take an early dart from work and turn up at the office with a petrol can and a lighter.

I think youve had a long enough break from my moaning! Reet, advise needed

At this point i decided you're either a fantastic pisstaker or very very odd!

sounded like an introduction at a fetish addiction meeting. Much more fun than an AA meeting! My name is Simon and i like clamping my balls.

My street is unadopted and is so lumpy and bumpy and full of craters that even in a 4X4 you get chucked all over. Im not complaining, i do it on purpose beacuse its cheaper than going to Alton Towers and as much fun. I rue the day someone slips our traveleling friends some tarmac money and my fun is spoiled.And yes, im perfectly aware i will have to have my suspension rewelded...again! But hey, a girls gotta have some action!

i had a very embarrassing crush on my German teacher, Mr Wilsher.I have no idea why, he was ugly, irritating and a complete knob.Probably explains why i have yet to date a normal person. Yet i would blush if he looked at me. And the worst thing..... he was really, really.......ginger. Im scuttling off now.

So stewards are now 'in charge' of our safety on the way to the ground aswell? Well, in that case, they can come and collect me from my door and deliver me to the ground free of charge, ensuring my safety. Preferably donkey back styleee! On a serious note, it is ridculous that we are now being told we are unable to correctly judge when a road is safe to cross!! How can i teach my children how to cross if im incapable myself? Its all a big fat load of b*ll*cks. With hair on.

Bottom of my jeans were always wet and stunk of wee.its no wonder i never had a boyfriend

No Bogs, they couldve been hollow, or like Aero Chocolate. Weighing will decide the true daddy

It will be on Panorama soon. She couldve had a bit taken from her spine to make her a bit shorter, half measures!

Has anyone ever weighed their poo? Just curious as to who would win. We could have a league table

Pour vinegar over the whole lot and buff off with newspaper. If nothing else your missus will always manage to find the car ont Th'asda carpark. Cos it will stink.

To be fair, the pressing question is- have the sausages defrosted yet and was there any frostbite to the genital regions? As for where theyve gone -Traf and NB not the sausages, NB is undercover busting a dwarf trafficking ring. So far they havnt sussed she is 1 inch above the regulation maximum, she has evaded capture by claiming she has backcombed her hair. Traf is involved in a 'reality tv documentary' in which text talk chavs are taken into victorian type school establishments, he then proceeds to thrash them for bad grammar, spelling mistakes and incorrect punctuation. I think he is enjoying his new role more than NB likes hers, the things she has to do!

It was in a daft place for a restaraunt, and although i tried it once it was cold in there and i kept my jacket on, the service was polite but very slow and even though the food was nice i felt no need to go back.

Nope, thats owners who dont bathe their dogs regularly, feed them smelly shite, dont groom them,dont clean their teeth and dont give them breathe fresheners. You'd stink if you bathed every few months and ate cheap smelly dog food and didnt brush your teeth too!

Did you get yer bones cracked? I had work done on my neck and shoulder a few times, it did feel great, till they twizzled my neck round and it cracked several times! the noise knocked me sick. I also had bruises all the way down my spine the day after. Somehow i thought paying for pain was supposed to be more enjoyable and at the very least sexually gratifying.

I can visualise him wiggling his bottom provocatively whilst singing 'contact sport'

Did you resort to picking your nose too?

Second hand underwear? That is GROSS, do folk actually do that? Apart from in farnworth of course? As for secondhand shoes, ive bought a few pairs of secondhand trainers from ebay, of the 'worn once and left in the cupboard since then' variety. Not a dot on them, usually around ?5 a pair as opposed to minimum ?60 a pair. What im saying is.....im a scrubber with an Adidas trainer fetish! And no, i havnt got any verruccas. Yet!