Order a starter and dessert

Get to lead the labour party.

Watch ITV3

 

Or Channel 10 as they call it

 

Columbo

Midsomer Murders

Heartbeat

Lovejoy

and have the TV up full twat

Get to lead the labour party.

And the lib dems.

Go on cruises

 

 

stink of piss

from the disabled bogs?

Ha yep

stink of piss

 

repeat themselves

Go on cruises

 

repeat themselves

3 weeks on saturday

 

i said 

 

3 weeks on saturday

Tut.

get in your way in M&S

Get up in the night for a piss,even when they haven't been drinking.

Get up in the night for a piss,even when they haven't been drinking.

i do that its a fucking pain

Walk behind your car when you're reversing. Nearly wiped one out earlier.

Walk behind your car when you're reversing. Nearly wiped one out earlier.

 

 

Should have tried harder, but not many points?

 

Plenty

 

 

Senior citizens: 100 points (Local hospitals have "Euthanasia Day" during the race in which the wheelchair bound elderly are lined up in the road, smiling and patiently awaiting their death by turbo car)

Edited October 11, 20178 yr by boltondiver

stink of piss

Cruises and stinking of Piss are hand in hand

get in your way in M&S

No way you shop in M&S

Slacks and pullovers?

Get up in the night for a piss,even when they haven't been drinking.

I must be old....thats happening more and more now

Walk behind your car when you're reversing. Nearly wiped one out earlier.

What about when they "help" you to reverse?

 

Fuck off you old cunt, I've got cameras front and rear, I don't need your help you old codger

No way you shop in M&S

It's his spelling... he meant S&M

With regards to pissing, don't drink anything after say 4pm does the trick

of course, that includes ale which rules out Youri et al I guess

I'm generally a dipsomaniac - I'll drink at least four litres of (non-spunk) liquids on a general day, more if I go to the gym or run etc.

 

Not drinking after a certain time ain't an option for me, I'll do in four or five pints of non-alcoholic drinks of an evening and I love having a pint of real coffee with milk (decaff) or milky marsala tea before turning in.

 

I take 2 litres of mineral water to bed most nights and can drink up to 3/4 of it during the night too (although odd times come morning it remains untouched)

 

I have noticed if I'm very close to a bathroom I'll get up for a piss, maybe two, during the night, but if it's a trek, like at home, I won't.

 

I'e probably cursed myself to be a five piss a night man now.

Edited October 12, 20178 yr by Youri McAnespie

Catch the bus at 9.30 in the morning! Every morning!

selling there homes to pay for Care

Be racist and homophobic

 

My mums recent ones........

 

"You remember him, he had a touch of the tar brush"

 

"You remember him, he was a bit light on his feet"