Flour Cakes or Barms in Bolton

[Not in Crawley]

21 minutes ago, Sweep said:

We go through a massive tub of it each week and Tsatziki as well  - like you, we don't buy them shitty little tubs from Sainsbury or Asda, we get them from a local "European" shop, cheap as chips

There is only two of us during the week, so I might have to curb the habit a bit.

 

Having said that, when I was running I ate that and a cup of soup every day. Dropped to 12 stone. At 6 2, I looked a bit gaunt.

[Youri McAnespie]

2 hours ago, MancWanderer said:

Hummus with some paprika on top. Marvellous

All these with caramelised onion, chilli, red pepper, etc. Shite

I only said it to pique interest and get converts..

When they're flogging it off for 10p I couldn't care less if it's got essence of goat cheeks. They don't advertise it but it's freezable if it's in the 'eat within ten seconds' section reduced.

Always just tastes like hummus to me - even the flavoured stuff.

The purists make their own.

I reckon de-skinning the chickpeas is necessary for this and that's one of the biggest culinary ballaches around.

[Not in Crawley]

9 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I only said it to pique interest and get converts..

When they're flogging it off for 10p I couldn't care less if it's got essence of goat cheeks. They don't advertise it but it's freezable if it's in the 'eat within ten seconds' section reduced.

Always just tastes like hummus to me - even the flavoured stuff.

The purists make their own.

I reckon de-skinning the chickpeas is necessary for this and that's one of the biggest culinary ballaches around.

Yeah had a mate who used to do that. Tasted nice but not so much that I could be bothered doing it, same with pesto. Tastes better but I'm going for a jar everytime. 

[Youri McAnespie]

4 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Yeah had a mate who used to do that. Tasted nice but not so much that I could be bothered doing it, same with pesto. Tastes better but I'm going for a jar everytime. 

Pesto is a piece of piss though.

My mate has an allotment and grows loads of basil as it deters pests from his tomatos (which supports the 'what grows together goes together' credo) also in Asda they often flog off packs of basil at 5p or 2p a pack and I can't resist buying it up if it's still good.

Basil keeps in the freezer a while, but can 'burn' overnight.

The problem with making it from scratch is pine nuts cost a lot though and thus make ready made the cheaper option, but chuck in cashews or even skinned unsalted peanuts instead. Most jarred stuff uses other stuff to bolster the pine nut constituent.

 

[Not in Crawley]

4 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Pesto is a piece of piss though.

My mate has an allotment and grows loads of basil as it deters pests from his tomatos (which supports the 'what grows together goes together' credo) also in Asda they often flog off packs of basil at 5p or 2p a pack and I can't resist buying it up if it's still good.

Basil keeps in the freezer a while, but can 'burn' overnight.

The problem with making it from scratch is pine nuts cost a lot though and thus make ready made the cheaper option, but chuck in cashews or even skinned unsalted peanuts instead. Most jarred stuff uses other stuff to bolster the pine nut constituent.

 

Yeah, its just I never do, its always something I make for a picnic or lunch so its just throw the jar in. 

The other London ponces make fun of me, so I'd best get a grip.

[Youri McAnespie]

I mean ponce fondly.

And in the old term way.

Meaning a pimp.

Or anyone who dressed flamboyantly in the manner of a pimp.

And to be fair, you sort of are a pimp.

Dunno about the flamboyant dress-sense, but folk accuse you of such on here and you don't disavow it.

[Not in Crawley]

4 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

I mean ponce fondly.

And in the old term way.

Meaning a pimp.

Or anyone who dressed flamboyantly in the manner of a pimp.

And to be fair, you sort of are a pimp.

Dunno about the flamboyant dress-sense, but folk accuse you of such on here and you don't disavow it.

😁 I quite like to be thought of as a dandy, appeals to my sense of vanity which is as large and as fragile as my ego....the reality is far more boring, so who wouldn't want to be a winklepickered, perfumed man about town?

As Mr Ant once declared - Don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me your handsome... fine words to live by.

But as I say, I'm a 43 year old bloke who lives in Bromley with three kids, has a broad Bolton accent, wears shirts and jeans most days and likes music and football. Too dull for words.

[Youri McAnespie]

I reckon you've been giving Phil Brown sartorial tips...

[Sweep]

18 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

 

As Mr Ant once declared - Don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me your handsome... fine words to live by.

But as I say, I'm a 43 year old bloke who lives in Bromley with three kids, has a broad Bolton accent, and likes nothing better, when not riding my Penny-Farthing, than mincing around town, sporting my favourite Tri-Corn which is perched, at a jaunty angle, atop my finest Louis XIII powdered wig. I love to accessorize with a monocle and a rather natty silk cravat. My ruffled shirt and winkle-pickers are quite often the talk of the town.

that's better

[Not in Crawley]

2 minutes ago, Sweep said:

that's better

I'd love to go full regency.

[Youri McAnespie]

Never go full-regency.

Macaronis are notorious for being sex-casery.

[Not in Crawley]

19 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Never go full-regency.

Macaronis are notorious for being sex-casery.

Oh no - not the pancacked face, volumous wig type nonsense.

I was thinking the more stiff upper lipped, repressed Englishman sort of deal. Dances, port and heaving busoms sort of stuff. Boots, overcoats, tailcoats, breeches - a more Georgian gentleman style.

[Sweep]

3 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Oh no - not the pancacked face, volumous wig type nonsense.

I was thinking the more stiff upper lipped, repressed Englishman sort of deal. Dances, port and heaving busoms sort of stuff. Boots, overcoats, tailcoats, breeches - a more Georgian gentleman style.

travelling around town in an ornate sedan chair

Edited April 28, 2021 by Sweep

[Not in Crawley]

3 minutes ago, Sweep said:

travelling around town in an ornate sedan chair

Oh no, that's for the ladies. Either on horse back (if in the country) or in a carriage (if doing my business in town) 

[crawshawbooth]

5 hours ago, Not in Crawley said:

Oh no, that's for the ladies. Either on horse back (if in the country) or in a carriage (if doing my business in town) 

had a mate got a fixed penalty notice for doing his business in town

army navy store entrance

[Not in Crawley]

Just now, crawshawbooth said:

had a mate got a fixed penalty notice for doing his business in town

army navy store entrance

That's whjy you have a private carriage with a kermode. 

[Burndens Bogs]

1 hour ago, Not in Crawley said:

That's why you have a private carriage with a kermode. 

Is that something Kermit the frog uses, or did you mean a commode?

[SatanGreavsie]

49 minutes ago, Burndens Bogs said:

Is that something Kermit the frog uses, or did you mean a commode?

No he meant Mark Kermode - a gentleman needs a film critic to hand at all times when on his travels, in case he happens across a luvvie. Nothing worse than bumping into Johnnie Gielgud and not being able to praise the efforts of the director of "Pissing in Acton" or "Planet of the Gapes".

[SatanGreavsie]

8 hours ago, Youri McAnespie said:

 (which supports the 'what grows together goes together' credo)

 

can you have nettles and dock leaves in a barm then? If not, it's probably the next big thing. "Nettles in the dock" you could call it. Organic of course. Get John Nettles to advertise it, unless he's dead. If he is dead, could you revive him with a dock leaf?

or summat.

[Winchester White]

2 hours ago, Burndens Bogs said:

Is that something Kermit the frog uses, or did you mean a commode?

I used to quite like listening to his film reviews with Mayo but then he got too far up his own arse.

[Not in Crawley]

14 hours ago, Burndens Bogs said:

Is that something Kermit the frog uses, or did you mean a commode?

I like to get film reviews as I travel around town.

[Youri McAnespie]

13 hours ago, SatanGreavsie said:

can you have nettles and dock leaves in a barm then? If not, it's probably the next big thing. "Nettles in the dock" you could call it. Organic of course. Get John Nettles to advertise it, unless he's dead. If he is dead, could you revive him with a dock leaf?

or summat.

You've obviously not stung yourself with nettles lately, I did and couldn't find a patch of dock for love nor money.

Probably since they closed Salford Docks.

I always wondered if it was dog-piss that relieved the sting rather than leaf-juice. I always thought dry grass was better arsewipe an' all, probably.

The useless 'deadly' giant hogweed is on the rise according to hot news in The BEN. A clump seen in...St Germaine Street, Farnworth. It used to know its place and keep among its own.

Why do vagabonds sit outside Morrison's begging for money for ale, food and drugs? They're out and about enough, they could regain pride by self sufficiency and foraging; nettle beer and soup, scrump apples to make cider and crumbleless apple crumble, pick magic mushrooms etc...

When I was a kid my old man showed me how to pull the main stem of grass from the chaff and nibble on the sweet young tip - they could do that, they've all the time in the world to get a feed this way.

It's only 12.5p on the 505 to Markland Hill and beyond.

 

[Not in Crawley]

Now - dock leaves are next to useless with nettle stings. If you want to soothe it, put some baking soda in a glass of water and dab the area.

Or some milk, actually.

This post has come from you from a man who camps a lot and has three children.

[SatanGreavsie]

10 hours ago, Not in Crawley said:

Now - dock leaves are next to useless with nettle stings. If you want to soothe it, put some baking soda in a glass of water and dab the area.

Or some milk, actually.

This post has come from you from a man who camps a lot and has three children.

I find they work - did it recently. But the kids of today would have no idea - they'd probably try to download an app for it and swipe their phone over the sting

[Not in Crawley]

52 minutes ago, SatanGreavsie said:

I find they work - did it recently. But the kids of today would have no idea - they'd probably try to download an app for it and swipe their phone over the sting

If they do work its most likely just cooling it and you can use any leaf. Stinging nettles produce and acid and to treat them you need alkaline.

The kids of today would probably find this out quicker and get sorted by downloading an app whilst your furiously rubbing a leaf against your ageing flesh.

But as I say, if you want to - any leaf will most likely have the same effect.