Made eldest come to the park with me and her brother on her scooter. She's not been on it for ages and is bone idol.

Anyway she got on it on my parents Rd which is on a bit of a hill. I've never seen a kid go as fast on a scooter. You could hear her screaming for miles cos she forgot about the breaks. I couldn't help her cos i couldn't breath for laughing 😂

Anyway that's chapter 1 of blondies shit parenting skills 😂😂😂😂😂

*idle

You'd better bag a place in the A&E queue now, that way you'll be seen before you go back to work on Tuesday

That’s not shit parenting the whole reason you have kids is to laugh at them

Like giving them lemon slices when they’re babies, the only benefit is for the parent to have a laugh 

30 minutes ago, Dimron said:

You'd better bag a place in the A&E queue now, that way you'll be seen before you go back to work on Tuesday

The only time I'd take myself or children to A&E is if they are on deaths door. Calpol fixes all 

1 hour ago, bolton_blondie said:

Made eldest come to the park with me and her brother on her scooter. She's not been on it for ages and is bone idol.

Anyway she got on it on my parents Rd which is on a bit of a hill. I've never seen a kid go as fast on a scooter. You could hear her screaming for miles cos she forgot about the breaks. I couldn't help her cos i couldn't breath for laughing 😂

Anyway that's chapter 1 of blondies shit parenting skills 😂😂😂😂😂

I remember my youngest on his first bike riding down a hill at Crompton Lodges.  As he went faster and faster, I shouted “use your brakes” Ended up going over the handle bars. 
A few scars for him and a few sleepless nights for me ever since.

He rides around Sydney now on a Vespa.

Sometimes, life’s experiences make us stronger. 😊

46 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

The only time I'd take myself or children to A&E is if they are on deaths door. Calpol fixes all 

42 quid fine for dropping them off too.. 

 

My eldest has had 3 broken arms this school year, she broke one, then broke it again, and then fell funny on a trampoline 3 weeks ago..

Can't wrap them in bubble wrap despite how much you want to. 

2 hours ago, bolton_blondie said:

The only time I'd take myself or children to A&E is if they are on deaths door. Calpol fixes all 

I fondly remember the plaster theatre at Bolton Royal Infirmary 🙂

1 hour ago, BobyBrno said:

 

He rides around Sydney now on a Vespa.

 😊

Drug runner?

8 minutes ago, Farrelli said:

Drug runner?

Take my sons name out of………..

Cool Mod😊👍

My dad making go karts from old pram wheels, a piece of rope, the seat from an old push chair and a couple of planks of wood. Used to stand there pissing his sides as we bombed down the pavements on the hill on the estate. No brakes mind. His advice was “throw yourself off” if it looked you might hit a person or car. Prepared me well for my visits to A&E later in life coming off my mountain bike up Rivvy 

10 minutes ago, BobyBrno said:

Take my sons name out of………..

Cool Mod😊👍

👍

3 hours ago, Dimron said:

I fondly remember the plaster theatre at Bolton Royal Infirmary 🙂

Aye, me too. Them were the days.

Felt a bit shit watching my lad smash through a barrier fence on a snow mobile in Finland. 

Landed 10 yards away with a face full snow and mobile upside down with the engine still going.

 

3 minutes ago, Francis Fogarty said:

Aye, me too. Them were the days.

Chipped elbows, broken wrists and collarbones.

Badges of honour in the playground

My shit skills were taking my 7 year old son hunting for conkers, found a cracking spot and a chair leg near the tree, launched the projectile upwards, it started to hit a load of branches on the way down, it hit him straight on the poor lads head and knocked him cold. He never cried, just dazed to fuck when he came round.

I've spent at least 3 hours in different Urban Outfitters to watch my middle daughter (fornher birthday with friends - 5 12 year old girls!!!) spend 30 quid on a top you'd have rejected from a charity shop.

4 H&Ms, a Shien pop up...hours on Brixton market.

I am a fucking brilliant (and skint) Dad

11 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

I've spent at least 3 hours in different Urban Outfitters to watch my middle daughter (fornher birthday with friends - 5 12 year old girls!!!) spend 30 quid on a top you'd have rejected from a charity shop.

4 H&Ms, a Shien pop up...hours on Brixton market.

I am a fucking brilliant (and skint) Dad

Shein pop up?!? 

20 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

Shein pop up?!? 

If you know; you know.

 

personally I’ve not a clue either!

22 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

Shein pop up?!? 

I thought The Flashing Blade has misspelt Shite....

1 minute ago, MickyD said:

If you know; you know.

 

personally I’ve not a clue either!

Oh i know what it is. Im not wearing M&S and Bon Marche just yet 😂

6 hours ago, BobyBrno said:

I remember my youngest on his first bike riding down a hill at Crompton Lodges.  As he went faster and faster, I shouted “use your brakes” Ended up going over the handle bars. 
A few scars for him and a few sleepless nights for me ever since.

He rides around Sydney now on a Vespa.

Sometimes, life’s experiences make us stronger. 😊

Bolty's dad?

I took my lad to a&e as he'd shoved a marble up his nose and blamed some other kid other kid at nursery. 

For any young parents out there... Save the trip... You just blow in their mouth until said object flies out of their nose! 

8 minutes ago, stevieb said:

I took my lad to a&e as he'd shoved a marble up his nose and blamed some other kid other kid at nursery. 

For any young parents out there... Save the trip... You just blow in their mouth until said object flies out of their nose! 

Is that the same technique if something gets stuck up your arse? Im asking for a mate. 

Just now, bolton_blondie said:

Is that the same technique if something gets stuck up your arse? Im asking for a mate. 

So long as you pinch their nose and blow hard enough... I'd imagine so. 

Stevieb - PHD

3 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

Is that the same technique if something gets stuck up your arse? Im asking for a mate. 

You have to suck it out of the arse.