Youri McAnespie Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Probably been done before, but, if anyone can think of something; shitter, not fit for purpose, badly designed and over-engineering at its worst, as the following bag of wank devices... Any plastic top/pourer fitted to a 'tetrabrik' fruit juice carton. * The juice splurts out like George in a brothel everywhere - pouring faster and faster until glugging everywhere near the top of the glass. * The foil refuses to shift when peeling it open - until feebly giving way at the very end of a Geoff Capes style tug, juice goes everywhere. * They burst open in the boot on the way home on a regular basis. * The ones that use a 'pop' lever also refuse to budge until manhandled in - with juice flying everywhere. * If you refuse to play ball, and prise up then fatten a corner and snip it open instead - the bloody plastic pourer spitefully opens up unrequested. * Just as they figure out how to recycle tetra-brik, stick a bit of plastic on 'em, why not? Fucking sheeeite, whoever tought up this 'improvement' should be ashamed of themselves. Surely unbeatable in the wank invention stakes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 A spoon holder, apparently it's something you rest your spoon on to stop your work tops getting mucky after stirring. Rinse the spoon, easy innit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiffs Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Bikes. Wholly redundant now there is the combustion engine and used by folk who only way to get in other folks way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted November 2, 2012 Site Supporter Share Posted November 2, 2012 Bikes. Wholly redundant now there is the combustion engine and used by folk who only way to get in other folks way. I had a dream I sold you a fax machine last night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adlington Trotter Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 The foil on drinks cartons - when trying to peel them off and the small bit of foil that isn't stuck down so you can get hold of it rips off and leaves the rest intact. Easy solution just to get a knife to it, but still highly annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiffs Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I had a dream I sold you a fax machine last night. With some of the shit that goes on in your mind, I dont ever ever ever want to know that I am in any of your dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 A spoon holder, apparently it's something you rest your spoon on to stop your work tops getting mucky after stirring. Rinse the spoon, easy innit. I have a nice stainless steel one. They're handy, even for people making pot noodles I imagine. Anyhow, Easter & Christmas greeting cards. Please no one ever send me one, thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mannyroad58 Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Wimmin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eavesy Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I have a nice stainless steel one. They're handy, even for people making pot noodles I imagine. Anyhow, Easter & Christmas greeting cards. Please no one ever send me one, thanks. Although they're ability to keep work tops clean can't be questioned... A work top will look far better without clutter on top of then. That goes for loads of things.. pestle and mortars (spelling), chopping boards out when not being used???, bowls for wet tea bags, all kinds of crap. Plus A quick wipe over with a cloth can't be that difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter White on Tyne Posted November 2, 2012 Site Supporter Share Posted November 2, 2012 Litter bins. Most lazy fuckers just seem to use the streets these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Although they're ability to keep work tops clean can't be questioned... A work top will look far better without clutter on top of then. That goes for loads of things.. pestle and mortars (spelling), chopping boards out when not being used???, bowls for wet tea bags, all kinds of crap. Plus A quick wipe over with a cloth can't be that difficult. See, I only get this sort of shit out when required. I'm not that daft. & leaving wet tea bags out on a holder, that's just filthy, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 bowls for wet tea bags, There aren't bowls made especially for that purpose are there? And anyway, once you've used your teabag, would you not just clod it straight in bin, why would you want it on show? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eavesy Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 We have em at work. Cleaners go mental if you start chucking tea bags in the bin for a number of reasons... 1) it's a cat flap lid so the lid ends up covered in tea bag stains. 2) bin eventually gets full of wetness and drips everywhere when you change the bag 3) I'm pretty sure someone recycles em or something. Uses em in garden to deter cats? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 3) I'm pretty sure someone recycles em or something. Uses em in garden to deter cats? Tell them to get an air rifle.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Sharps Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Soda Stream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Soda Stream. Listen, sonny, back in the 70s we had a lot less technology. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Soda Stream. good shout, absolutely useless bit of gear that is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Sharps Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) Listen, sonny, back in the 70s we had a lot less technology. Is that really how old it is? Maybe I will take it back then, my Nan used to have one when I was a kid and I had just presumed she liked using that rather than getting fizzy pop. I just assumed that folk used that instead of buying there own fizzy pop to pass the time whilst making it. Edited November 2, 2012 by Big_Sharps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweep Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Remote Control Holders I'll bet NB has a nice leatherette one like the above though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DazBob Posted November 2, 2012 Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) We have em at work. Cleaners go mental if you start chucking tea bags in the bin for a number of reasons... 1) it's a cat flap lid so the lid ends up covered in tea bag stains. 2) bin eventually gets full of wetness and drips everywhere when you change the bag 3) I'm pretty sure someone recycles em or something. Uses em in garden to deter cats? Anyone who doesn't put a teabag in the bin staright after they've made a brew is a filthy bastard. I sometimes go into the kitchen at work and there will be a teabag on the side of the sink. It makes my blood boil. When I put it in the bin, I make sure it's already drained and squeezed and when I put it in the bin I make sure it doesn't touch the lid. Also, due to the fact I've already squeezed it against the side of my Batmug, there will be no excess moisture causing an issue with dampness in the bin. If everyone made a brew like me the world would be a better place. Back to shit inventions.... I give you remote control holsters. Edit: Fucking hell, CWP and his fast fingers (and the weird fact that he's thought exactly the same as me)!!! Edited November 2, 2012 by DazBobParr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Well that's where you're wrong. i have a console Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mannyroad58 Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Blackburn Rovers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DazBob Posted November 2, 2012 Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) Well that's where you're wrong. i have a console Ace. But surely you would need that to be sat on a fold-up table that old people use to eat their tea on the settee ... or one of those trays for your knee with a beanbag stuck to the bottom of it. It'd feel like you were piloting a spaceship. Edited November 2, 2012 by DazBobParr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mannyroad58 Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Well that's where you're wrong. i have a console Do you have 1 for your "lady toys" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bwfcdan Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Religion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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