Talking to a mate last night we were reminded of some urban myths from our youth - 

 

1) The old man who lived alone at the top of our street and who only came out after dark was a vampire

2) Dean Holdsworth had two ribs removed so he could suck himself off

3) You could catch AIDS from the seat in the 3rd trap in the bogs at the Water Place

4) A lad at another school dislocated his hip, and died because the paramedics popped it back in but one of his balls had fallen in the socket first and the pain killed him

5) Damon Albarn had been taken to hospital and they'd found a pint of spunk in his stomach

 

Any more?

Prince - it was always Prince...Obviously when you're surrounded by the type of girls he surrounds himself with, your primary concern is being able to give yourself a blowjob.

 

was a prince fan at school

 

apparently that was bad because he was gay

 

despite masses of evidence to the contrary - i.e. music, lyrics, videos, etc

 

taught me everything I know about the ladies he did

 

once got sucked off with "head" playing in the background

 

never got why people thought he was a bender

 

 

Edited September 25, 201312 yr by ZicoKelly

Marple baths changed it's name to Marple Dolphin Centre when I was a kid

 

I searched "Marple Dolphin Centre" on Google and one of the results on the first page is a WW thread called "Budgies in the Arndale"

 

WW's....the groundhog day of the interweb

People used to wander round in heaven and hell nightclub stabbing people with hypodermic needles.

 

The Krays turned up at Blackpool north train station one day and mixie Walsh and his henchmen turned up and fucked em off.

 

There was guy down the street called Ronnie the rapist,but he got done from rape when he was a teenager so that's not really a myth.

was a prince fan at school

 

apparently that was bad because he was gay

 

despite masses of evidence to the contrary - i.e. music, lyrics, videos, etc

 

taught me everything I know about the ladies he did

 

once got sucked off with "head" playing in the background

 

never got why people thought he was a bender

 

 

 

He does look a bit camp to be honest, he should go for a more manly look - get down the gym, some tattoos maybe, shave his head, don a denim jacket - no-one would mistake him for a gayer then.

My mate swears being that his Geography teacher once told a class that if you didn't piss immediately after having a wank, the jizz could clog up your japseye.

True fact, if you practise the whipping it out method of contraception, it's advised that you have a piss before any commencement of another do.

True fact, if you practise the whipping it out method of contraception, it's advised that you have a piss before any commencement of another do.

 

That goes without saying. I couldn't go a week without a piss.

No. 4 - He didn't die. He tore his vocal chords screaming. And in the version I heard he was an Irish rugby player.

People used to wander round in heaven and hell nightclub stabbing people with hypodermic needles.

 

The Krays turned up at Blackpool north train station one day and mixie Walsh and his henchmen turned up and fucked em off.

 

There was guy down the street called Ronnie the rapist,but he got done from rape when he was a teenager so that's not really a myth.

 

Heard the needles one too! A story about people finding a needle stuck in their ankle with a note on saying "welcome to AIDS". Still makes me shudder at the thought of that now!

 

Heard the same ribs removal story about Marilyn Manson

 

Remember one about it being possible to jump from the top to the bottom of your stairs at home easliy but only at night!

 

Plus when I worked at KFC there was the rumour that someone had come in and returned a burger saying "I asked for this with no mayo" but it turned out it didnt have mayo, it was a cyst she'd bitten into. Rough!

A girl who had just left school put jam all over her fanny and got her dog to lick it off.

Razor blades wedged in the slides at the water place.

Remember one about it being possible to jump from the top to the bottom of your stairs at home easliy but only at night!

 

!

I managed it at my old house... seem to recall lying on the bathroom floor (downstairs) in absolute agony.

Heard the needles one too! A story about people finding a needle stuck in their ankle with a note on saying "welcome to AIDS". Still makes me shudder at the thought of that now!

 

Heard the same ribs removal story about Marilyn Manson

 

Remember one about it being possible to jump from the top to the bottom of your stairs at home easliy but only at night!

 

Plus when I worked at KFC there was the rumour that someone had come in and returned a burger saying "I asked for this with no mayo" but it turned out it didnt have mayo, it was a cyst she'd bitten into. Rough!

 

When I was at college there was a nightclub doing a student night on Wednesdays - used to have binloads of condoms as you left in some safe-sex campaign - rumour had it that a load of nuns were taking pins and poking holes in the johnnies so that they failed.

 

Luckily for me I didn't get laid so never found out if it was true or not

 

when at school this bird i know was geting fingerd ( the kitkat ) four fingers from behind and she shit on is hand

 

i still take the piss when i see her now

The needle they used for TB injections where 12 inches long with a hook on the end.

 

In a state of terror by the time we went into the nurses office, fuck all to worry about.

The needle they used for TB injections where 12 inches long with a hook on the end.

 

In a state of terror by the time we went into the nurses office, fuck all to worry about.

ive still got the scar

I exercised my right to not have one, had the test, considered the results, decided I must have some immunity already and didn't bother going for the actual inoculation. I'd also read that they (BCG) are only effective for an average of twelve years, I reckoned I'd take my chances until I was 26.

 

I'm not scared of needles tho' - I've had one the size of a knitting needle stuck in my neck once.

Edited September 25, 201312 yr by Youri McAnespie

A girl who had just left school put jam all over her fanny and got her dog to lick it off

Haha!

 

Fucking hell.

 

????

Is that the first time you've heard that one Gonzo? I would say you must've led a sheltered life if I hadn't read some of your life histories on here.

Joanna Lumley has had it up the arse so much that she had to have her arse reconstructed when it fell apart.

Purple Aki would bum you then carve PA into your bum cheeks.

 

Turns out he'd just make you do some squats and touch you up a bit.

Sociology teacher at 6th form was from St. Helens.

His mate used to walk down the main road in short shorts/topless to see if Purple Aki would drive past and stop, which he eventually did.

 

He's been active in Bolton recently apparently.

 

Talking of which, was at the train station a while back on the way to Horwich, creepy bloke started talking to me and he was talking about how much he loved girls legs and he was perving on these lasses on the other platform. Kept asking me where I was going and what I was doing, asking me if I had change for the train cos he'd lost his ticket. Said no so he said he'd try and dodge the fair, very threateningly told me not to grass him up.

Was worried he'd follow me off but he didn't.

Don't think it was Aki though, although I can't remember what he looked like (apart from he was African and had a Northern accent)

Assuming Aki has a Scouse accent?

Our female French teacher had been seen in a grumble vid.

Is that the first time you've heard that one Gonzo? I would say you must've led a sheltered life if I hadn't read some of your life histories on here.

????

 

It was more the terminology that made laugh!

 

..,,oh and it was peanut butter round here! Haha

It'th twue I tell you!

ignore them, they probably had turds in the baths they went to

ignore them, they probably had turds in the baths they went to

Dolphin turds?