Site Supporter Spider Posted January 10, 2014 Site Supporter Share Posted January 10, 2014 I'm not talking about hangover shits, or your common or garden shits now I'm talking about the full 21 gun salute shits. A complete and utter removal of my entire innards in a series of torrid, noisy and gut wrenching toilet visits. 3 days now. I've eaten barely anything yet still all manner of stuff is being jettisoned from my arse like someone punched a hole in the side of the Space Station Bad aids, or time to go to the docs? Bear in mind, it's a 20 minute drive and my longest reprieve between visits has been about 19 minutes. RIP Spider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anewman Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I had it over christmas, coincided with man flu, luckily my princess nursed me back to health Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freds dad Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Phone the docs first for advice to save yourself a journey and having a car that smells of shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Jesus Christ, I've never known anyone with your level of plopping trouble. You should carry one of those Crohns disease cards so you can shit anywhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazza Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I ate a family sized bag of salted peanuts last night and the result this morning was reminiscent of pearl harbour I presume with a giant explosion followed by what sounded like a Japanese fighter strafing the water as peanuts fired from my ringpiece like a machine gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Jesus Christ, I've never known anyone with your level of plopping trouble. You should carry one of those Crohns disease cards so you can shit anywhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magic legs Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Spider in shit-related thread shocker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted January 10, 2014 Author Site Supporter Share Posted January 10, 2014 Spider in shit-related thread shocker It's been a while so I was due. Plus, this isn't related to my steady diet of lager, red wine and Meditteranean foods. May be that would help... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magic legs Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 It's been a while so I was due. Plus, this isn't related to my steady diet of lager, red wine and Meditteranean foods. May be that would help... You should have your own sticky "Spider's Bowels" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YTARMY Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I'm not talking about hangover shits, or your common or garden shits now I'm talking about the full 21 gun salute shits. A complete and utter removal of my entire innards in a series of torrid, noisy and gut wrenching toilet visits. 3 days now. I've eaten barely anything yet still all manner of stuff is being jettisoned from my arse like someone punched a hole in the side of the Space Station Bad aids, or time to go to the docs? Bear in mind, it's a 20 minute drive and my longest reprieve between visits has been about 19 minutes. RIP Spider. Fell your pain spider I started last thursday the full works putrid yellowy squits every twenty mins or so Fuck me the pain in my insides and my shitter was like having red hot barbed wire dragged through me Then when it was impossible to pass anything else still sat on the bog still going through the "motions" so to speak absolute torture My son wanted to go to the cup match with blackpool so friday night 3 immodiums taken and another sat dinner time , big mistake the saturday saw me shaking at sweating like a junky, all through the match frightened to death when we scored as every sudden movement I thought this is going to be it , Bolton news headlines " Man single handedly clears east stand lower" 3 days of hell not had a beer since but ill be battering it tomorrow O h yeah in reply I think we may be too far gone to be saved Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The True Marple White Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Jesus Christ, I've never known anyone with your level of plopping trouble. You should carry one of those Crohns disease cards so you can shit anywhere Nothing wrong with those, have one myself and a special key to get in bogs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarian1979 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Sat on the pot for the first of my four or five daily visits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Lofthouse Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Had the same over Christmas, fooking horrendous. I begrudgingly took Imodium which has really put my arse on its arse. My poor botty has taken a pounding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankietheman Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Immodium on top of an gut infection will fuck you up big time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Lofthouse Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 You are not kidding! I fucking dread going now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 One of the bogs at our works is broken so other folk have been using the one near us. One particular lad must have some sort of arse disease because when he's been in there's a green mist and foul stench that you wouldn't believe. Anyhow, we've left a note with instructions of spraying, opening windows & cleaning your skids from the pan. Filthy bastard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desert Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Get probiotic yoghurt down you will help massively! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breightmet Boy Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Irritable bowel or healthy eating people stink bogs out, women being the worst by a country mile. Smelly bastards, eat shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted January 11, 2014 Author Site Supporter Share Posted January 11, 2014 The toilets in the west lower are third world Shame on you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddie_Hill Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Site Supporter Spider Posted January 11, 2014 Author Site Supporter Share Posted January 11, 2014 It's either e-coli or the plague It's certainly beyond a joke now When would be prudent to consult someone medical? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traf Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 When would be prudent to consult someone medical? Yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Stop drinking alcohol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazza Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Stop drinking alcohol exactly what i was told when i went to the hospital for tests after having constant diahorrea for months turns out it was some diease i cant remember the name of caused by excessive alcohol consumption not surprisingly Though not perfect now is ok explains me shitting my trousers at peterborough however. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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