How do you sop them from shitting in your garden.......

BB guns?

Get your own.

napalm the cunts.

Sing Elvis songs to them

Throw one down the stairs and burn the slag with an iron.

That would attract more ffs...

Catch some of them, three is a good number to start with - then try them before a kangaroo court made up of yourself and some family members, some dogs as jurors...

 

After reaching the 'guilty' verdict, Hang, draw and quarter them - scatter the remains around the garden...

 

Sever the heads and make a feline 'Traitor's Gate' style gibbet, to deter any further incursions, the stumps from a child's cricket set are ideal for this purpose (the pikes for the heads).

Almost impossible. Tried almost all the things you can get commercially with limited success. But next time you go to the zoo ask a keeper if you can have a bag of shite from the tiger or lion enclosure. Sprinkle lightly in the corner of your garden and i can guarantee that no tigers or lions will crap on your roses.

This might work, if you think £54+ is worth it for a shite free garden.

 

http://www.deteracat.co.uk/scarecrow_water_jet_pack.htm

Some reviews, which may be from nom-de-plumes of the inventors/vendors of the product or actual happy customers...

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Contech-ScareCrow-Motion-Activated-Deterrent/dp/B005MW9VOM

It's all about boundaries. You need to do a few of your own poo's on your boundary lines to mark the territory as your own.

Buy a flat at Marsden House in town.

Chilli flakes sprinkled in the garden worked to stop next door's car shitting in our garden.

vermin

 

on a level with rats and squirrels

Land mines.

If you do decide to lay land mines, lull your intended victims into a false sense of security by placing this sign on the perimeter fence...

 

 

 

Round them up and sell them to an ethnic restaurant of your choice.

Some very interesting ideas here.... I like chilli flakes idea, but garden is about 25m frigging long. That's a lot of

Frickin flakes.

This seems promising, it's got some good reviews..

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pet-Bliss-Humane-Feral-Cat-Trap/dp/B000OLYDUI

 

 

if all else fails just invite them in

 

Yup get your own. It's the only way I'm afraid

if their shit ended up going through their owners letterbox it'd soon fcuking stop

 

selfish, dirty bastards

Cats are ace pets but I would be seriously pissed off if someone else's shat all over my lawn. As it is we have bengals so no other cat dare come close but ours are that fucking thick they shit in our own garden, I thought dogs were only that stupid.

Cats are ace pets but I would be seriously pissed off if someone else's shat all over my lawn. As it is we have bengals so no other cat dare come close but ours are that fucking thick they shit in our own garden, I thought dogs were only that stupid.

 

Mine won't do any of her business in my garden. Never has which was hard fucking work training her & is shit on rainy nights like this

Sneaky shitty arsed little bastards the lot of 'em Hangings too good for them..