For those that questioned why I didn’t attend the game last Saturday, this was why. My daughter asked me to go to the Pride parade with her, have a few drinks, a meal, and generally have a catch up on her life and her website project. She doesn’t live with me so I don’t see her that often so face to face time is very valuable

I’ve highlighted one particular part of her social media post from today. That is a nod to WWays. She was stunned by the response from here. I thank all of you that contributed feedback once again for your support.......

 

 

As some of you may remember, a year ago I set up a website that allows people to submit and share their personal stories regarding mental health, encouraging people to use their voice and realise that they're not going through this alone.

The response I received was absolutely insane. That insane in fact, that I shut it down after a few months as I couldn't cope with managing the website alongside my own mental health.

But now I'm back 💥 I'm in a better place with my mental health, I'm currently in the process of purchasing my first home, and next week I start my dream job as a Teaching Assistant in a special educational needs school.

So I've decided to relaunch my project. A website where you can anonymously submit your mental health story, in the form of poetry, short stories, song lyrics, or simply anything that expresses you.

www.mindofourown.co.uk

Edited August 27, 20196 yr by MancWanderer

6 hours ago, Smiley said:

Needs to be on between the football. Nobody watches Corrie these days!

 

Just been on during Morocco / Spain. Fair play. 

My heads gone again, seems constant. 

Ringing work tomorrow and going speaking to my GP. Was off 2 weeks ago and was rang and asked to come back in.. promises that they will try to help. So we have 2 ofsted style inspections in a week. 

Teachings meant I've managed to get my dream house, but it's proper fooked up my brain. Need a new career. 

31 minutes ago, only1swanny said:

My heads gone again, seems constant. 

Ringing work tomorrow and going speaking to my GP. Was off 2 weeks ago and was rang and asked to come back in.. promises that they will try to help. So we have 2 ofsted style inspections in a week. 

Teachings meant I've managed to get my dream house, but it's proper fooked up my brain. Need a new career. 

Sorry to hear that fella.

Can be a brutal profession at times. Take the time you need to get your head right. 

I did something different this year for the first time in 8 years. I'll likely go back to teaching but it was definitely good for the head. it's definitely a career that opens a lot of other doors if you need something new to apply your talents to. 

All the best with it. 

12 minutes ago, London Wanderer said:

Sorry to hear that fella.

Can be a brutal profession at times. Take the time you need to get your head right. 

I did something different this year for the first time in 8 years. I'll likely go back to teaching but it was definitely good for the head. it's definitely a career that opens a lot of other doors if you need something new to apply your talents to. 

All the best with it. 

Asked for help, they threw me u der the bus, 

Getting a deep dive done the week before Xmas is grim,but for me I've had enough of kids verbally abusing me, fed up of having things thrown at me, fed up of working till midnight to be told were not doing enough. 

If I end up losing my temper, they won't back me.. 

Don't feel safe working there, spoke to 5 colleagues after work and they all want out, 4 of us debating if we can make it in Wed.. I can't...

10 hours ago, only1swanny said:

My heads gone again, seems constant. 

Ringing work tomorrow and going speaking to my GP. Was off 2 weeks ago and was rang and asked to come back in.. promises that they will try to help. So we have 2 ofsted style inspections in a week. 

Teachings meant I've managed to get my dream house, but it's proper fooked up my brain. Need a new career. 

Keep going mate

did you do your class 2? 

4 minutes ago, radcliffe white said:

Keep going mate

did you do your class 2? 

Yeah got it now, booked class 1 for half term in Feb. 

Live teaching and I've tried, and tried again, got potentially 2 interviews for other schools but I can't make it work.. just not wired up enough for it.. its absolutely heart breaking as I've invested so much in it, I'm fine with the teaching but it's everything else that comes with it. Terrified of losing my temper the next time I get abuse from a kid, because the school won't back me. Had a kid throw a highlighter at me Monday, missed my head by about an inch and left a mark on the wall.. school did nothing. 

Rang work this morning and they've tried ti contact me twice by 7.30. I'm sat here crying just that the only way is walking away, and I don't have the faith I can get my leather/cleaning work to pay the bills. 

3 minutes ago, only1swanny said:

Yeah got it now, booked class 1 for half term in Feb. 

Live teaching and I've tried, and tried again, got potentially 2 interviews for other schools but I can't make it work.. just not wired up enough for it.. its absolutely heart breaking as I've invested so much in it, I'm fine with the teaching but it's everything else that comes with it. Terrified of losing my temper the next time I get abuse from a kid, because the school won't back me. Had a kid throw a highlighter at me Monday, missed my head by about an inch and left a mark on the wall.. school did nothing. 

Rang work this morning and they've tried ti contact me twice by 7.30. I'm sat here crying just that the only way is walking away, and I don't have the faith I can get my leather/cleaning work to pay the bills. 

You will have enough options with the class 2 even more with 1, might not be long term or what you want but short term it will pay the bills mate 

10 hours ago, only1swanny said:

Asked for help, they threw me u der the bus, 

Getting a deep dive done the week before Xmas is grim,but for me I've had enough of kids verbally abusing me, fed up of having things thrown at me, fed up of working till midnight to be told were not doing enough. 

If I end up losing my temper, they won't back me.. 

Don't feel safe working there, spoke to 5 colleagues after work and they all want out, 4 of us debating if we can make it in Wed.. I can't...

Doesn't sound safe at all mate. It's an awful feeling when you're constantly on edge and exhausted by the end of the day, it catches up with you. Sounds like this Ofsted could be a disaster for the school if colleagues are feeling similar. Sorry to hear it's been another shite morning.  

45 minutes ago, London Wanderer said:

Doesn't sound safe at all mate. It's an awful feeling when you're constantly on edge and exhausted by the end of the day, it catches up with you. Sounds like this Ofsted could be a disaster for the school if colleagues are feeling similar. Sorry to hear it's been another shite morning.  

It's not ofsted,  it's been done by the MAT on request of the head, the week before Xmas..  kids will be off the walls. Got colleagues in tears every day after the kids have gone. 

Grim indeed. 

Unions calling strike action for pay, its not the pay that's the issue, its the conditions.. 

19 minutes ago, only1swanny said:

It's not ofsted,  it's been done by the MAT on request of the head, the week before Xmas..  kids will be off the walls. Got colleagues in tears every day after the kids have gone. 

Grim indeed. 

Unions calling strike action for pay, its not the pay that's the issue, its the conditions.. 

Are you at home at the moment?

18 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Are you at home at the moment?

Yeah I'm not going in,  not well enough 

I find it challenging to talk about mental health these days as one of my lads has suffered from paranoid schizophrenia for the last 18 years and whilst my own mental health is fine, his situation has massively impacted on my life - it's been a nightmare. During that time he's been sectioned twice spending a total of 4 years on psychiatric wards (Stepping Hill and Birkenhead) 3 years in supported accommodation which hasn't worked out and multiple attempts to live independently which have all ended in him trashing the flats he's lived in within months, running up massive debt, becoming homeless and losing the plot. Apart from the emotional toll of the lies, manipulation and even death threats I've had to bail him out financially for lost deposits, unpaid utilities, personal debts etc - around £40k to date and it's come to the point where I can't cope with supporting him any more even though he's my son and I love him. He has periods where he's fine, rational and balanced but they coincide with when he's on a depot of antipsychotics  - but there are huge problems with the care system. They are obligated to constantly review his Community Treatment Order and - perhaps due to pressure to cut cost - tend to come to the conclusion that if the drugs are working and he's been stable for a while, he doesn't need them any more FFS so they stop giving them to him and the cycle repeats itself.

Last week, he had another psychotic episode and was wandering the streets barefoot, having lost/pawned/sold/been robbed of his possessions and when he was tracked down the police went to his flat and found that it had been trashed too, with the door smashed off and he'd been living in squalor. Bearing in mind this was a new flat he only moved in to 6 months ago they were appalled at how he was living, but I've seen it all many times before. He's currently in Salford Royal for assessment and incredibly they haven't sectioned him again - yet - so technically he could just walk out and disappear.

This is a photo of his bed he was sleeping in at the latest flat: (his landlord wants £2k to clean and redecorate it)

I only hope that this time, they will not only give him the drugs he needs to quieten the voices in his head, but provide some sort of therapy e.g. CBT to help him live better and cope. But I don't hold out much hope as the system is creaking and our experience has been that they'll just patch him up and send him out to repeat the cycle again. It's heartbreaking.

That's a shitter.

If you think cbt may be of benefit, it may be worthwhile looking at paying privately. Cost up front of course, but if it saves costs down the line (and perhaps him too) then it might be worth it.

9 hours ago, Wanderlust said:

I find it challenging to talk about mental health these days as one of my lads has suffered from paranoid schizophrenia for the last 18 years and whilst my own mental health is fine, his situation has massively impacted on my life - it's been a nightmare. During that time he's been sectioned twice spending a total of 4 years on psychiatric wards (Stepping Hill and Birkenhead) 3 years in supported accommodation which hasn't worked out and multiple attempts to live independently which have all ended in him trashing the flats he's lived in within months, running up massive debt, becoming homeless and losing the plot. Apart from the emotional toll of the lies, manipulation and even death threats I've had to bail him out financially for lost deposits, unpaid utilities, personal debts etc - around £40k to date and it's come to the point where I can't cope with supporting him any more even though he's my son and I love him. He has periods where he's fine, rational and balanced but they coincide with when he's on a depot of antipsychotics  - but there are huge problems with the care system. They are obligated to constantly review his Community Treatment Order and - perhaps due to pressure to cut cost - tend to come to the conclusion that if the drugs are working and he's been stable for a while, he doesn't need them any more FFS so they stop giving them to him and the cycle repeats itself.

Last week, he had another psychotic episode and was wandering the streets barefoot, having lost/pawned/sold/been robbed of his possessions and when he was tracked down the police went to his flat and found that it had been trashed too, with the door smashed off and he'd been living in squalor. Bearing in mind this was a new flat he only moved in to 6 months ago they were appalled at how he was living, but I've seen it all many times before. He's currently in Salford Royal for assessment and incredibly they haven't sectioned him again - yet - so technically he could just walk out and disappear.

This is a photo of his bed he was sleeping in at the latest flat: (his landlord wants £2k to clean and redecorate it)

I only hope that this time, they will not only give him the drugs he needs to quieten the voices in his head, but provide some sort of therapy e.g. CBT to help him live better and cope. But I don't hold out much hope as the system is creaking and our experience has been that they'll just patch him up and send him out to repeat the cycle again. It's heartbreaking.

The main reason that I started this thread was to highlight the issue of mental health when I was going through a tough time with my youngest 

Without scrolling through all the pages I don’t know if I ever said that I ended up going private. Best thing I did. Sadly the NHS didn’t have capacity to cope with her early enough so I bit the bullet and funded private health for her - psychiatrist, CBT, etc. Worked well. Shes really good now

I agree with @Tonge moor green jacketthat it might be a route worth going down

Sorry to hear this @Wanderlust what a miserable situation for you and your family as well as your son. 
 

10 hours ago, Wanderlust said:

I find it challenging to talk about mental health these days as one of my lads has suffered from paranoid schizophrenia for the last 18 years and whilst my own mental health is fine, his situation has massively impacted on my life - it's been a nightmare. During that time he's been sectioned twice spending a total of 4 years on psychiatric wards (Stepping Hill and Birkenhead) 3 years in supported accommodation which hasn't worked out and multiple attempts to live independently which have all ended in him trashing the flats he's lived in within months, running up massive debt, becoming homeless and losing the plot. Apart from the emotional toll of the lies, manipulation and even death threats I've had to bail him out financially for lost deposits, unpaid utilities, personal debts etc - around £40k to date and it's come to the point where I can't cope with supporting him any more even though he's my son and I love him. He has periods where he's fine, rational and balanced but they coincide with when he's on a depot of antipsychotics  - but there are huge problems with the care system. They are obligated to constantly review his Community Treatment Order and - perhaps due to pressure to cut cost - tend to come to the conclusion that if the drugs are working and he's been stable for a while, he doesn't need them any more FFS so they stop giving them to him and the cycle repeats itself.

Last week, he had another psychotic episode and was wandering the streets barefoot, having lost/pawned/sold/been robbed of his possessions and when he was tracked down the police went to his flat and found that it had been trashed too, with the door smashed off and he'd been living in squalor. Bearing in mind this was a new flat he only moved in to 6 months ago they were appalled at how he was living, but I've seen it all many times before. He's currently in Salford Royal for assessment and incredibly they haven't sectioned him again - yet - so technically he could just walk out and disappear.

This is a photo of his bed he was sleeping in at the latest flat: (his landlord wants £2k to clean and redecorate it)

I only hope that this time, they will not only give him the drugs he needs to quieten the voices in his head, but provide some sort of therapy e.g. CBT to help him live better and cope. But I don't hold out much hope as the system is creaking and our experience has been that they'll just patch him up and send him out to repeat the cycle again. It's heartbreaking.

Jesus mate, what a horrendous situation.

Hope you can find some form of solution pal. In the meantime, if it helps, talk about it on here 🙌

I know a lad in town who has to have an injection for his schizophrenia. They come mob handed to make him have it as hes a danger if he doesn't.

The power of the mind is truly frightening.

The issue with therapy is that nobody will deliver it - and it doesn't work - if the patient won't engage with it. He won't.

 

Thanks for your concern folks. I guess after all this time I'm used to it - nothing surprises me anymore and I can't blame him for all the shit he's given us because he's ill and it isn't his fault.

Edited December 7, 20223 yr by Wanderlust

7 minutes ago, Wanderlust said:

The issue with therapy is that nobody will deliver it - and it doesn't work - if the patient won't engage with it. He won't.

I tried all that CBT stuff years ago when I hit the buffers . Can see why it works for some but for me it was a pile of bollocks and just delayed the inevitable. Wasted 3-4 months of my life really.

 

Edited December 7, 20223 yr by gonzo

1 minute ago, gonzo said:

I tried all that CBT stuff years ago when u hit the buffers . Can see why it works for some but for me it was a pile of bollocks and just delayed the inevitable. Wasted 3-4 months of my life really.

 

If you have an analytical mind as my lad has, you'll read into it and in his paranoid condition he suspects they're messing with his head but if there is any way someone can get through to him so that he'll at least acknowledge and talk about his problems in a guilt-free environment I think that would help.

I tried but I'm just too close.

5 minutes ago, Wanderlust said:

The issue with therapy is that nobody will deliver it - and it doesn't work - if the patient won't engage with it. He won't.

That’s hard. My youngest wouldn’t engage. I was stuck in Manc. My ex Mrs was in Warton and youngest was under the care of Fylde. We got her to therapy via talking but if he won’t engage with family then I’m not sure what to do. My heart genuinely goes out to you pal. Hope you resolve it somehow. Don’t give up though and talk with folk even the not rights on here

11 hours ago, gonzo said:

I tried all that CBT stuff years ago when I hit the buffers . Can see why it works for some but for me it was a pile of bollocks and just delayed the inevitable. Wasted 3-4 months of my life really.

 

When you start cbt and such like, it all seems bollocks. You're hardly in the frame of mind for it, and the analysis/awareness stuff messes with the head etc.

The presenters of the treatment are aware of this though and will see your responses and take that into account during sessions. 

No doubt that the human factor comes in and some will be better than others of course.

Nevertheless, I'm convinced that as a patient you tend to absorb the parts that seem more pertinent to you as an individual, and if that helps with getting better/learning how to manage your condition, then that's great.

My lad was under CAHMS but due to lack of resources he didn't get the help he needed. Thankfully we had the means to pay for private help and cbt really helped him.

9 hours ago, Winchester White said:

My lad was under CAHMS but due to lack of resources he didn't get the help he needed. Thankfully we had the means to pay for private help and cbt really helped him.

Got mine there as at early primary age as we were concerned over his relationship with food.

They, like everyone else, said it was nothing to worry about and he would get better with age.

Well he's 18 and still just as bastard fussy. 

He's survived and grown though!

 

2 hours ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Got mine there as at early primary age as we were concerned over his relationship with food.

They, like everyone else, said it was nothing to worry about and he would get better with age.

Well he's 18 and still just as bastard fussy. 

He's survived and grown though!

 

We had fun trying to get lad to eat Brocolli yesterday, full on meltdown and screaming the house down.. 

One of the best quotes I've heard about eating habits was a midwife when Mrs Swanny was pregnant with hyperemesis. 

"kids are like parasites.. they will eat what they need to, you only need to worry when they won't eat anything at all".

On 06/12/2022 at 22:07, only1swanny said:

My heads gone again, seems constant. 

Ringing work tomorrow and going speaking to my GP. Was off 2 weeks ago and was rang and asked to come back in.. promises that they will try to help. So we have 2 ofsted style inspections in a week. 

Teachings meant I've managed to get my dream house, but it's proper fooked up my brain. Need a new career. 

Take care pal! And do what’s right for you! If it means long-term sick whilst you recover, then don’t feel bad or guilty about it. Just don’t let it drift and drift. Seems like you have been looking at a contingency plan outside of teaching - which sounds perfect.