For those that questioned why I didn’t attend the game last Saturday, this was why. My daughter asked me to go to the Pride parade with her, have a few drinks, a meal, and generally have a catch up on her life and her website project. She doesn’t live with me so I don’t see her that often so face to face time is very valuable

I’ve highlighted one particular part of her social media post from today. That is a nod to WWays. She was stunned by the response from here. I thank all of you that contributed feedback once again for your support.......

 

 

As some of you may remember, a year ago I set up a website that allows people to submit and share their personal stories regarding mental health, encouraging people to use their voice and realise that they're not going through this alone.

The response I received was absolutely insane. That insane in fact, that I shut it down after a few months as I couldn't cope with managing the website alongside my own mental health.

But now I'm back 💥 I'm in a better place with my mental health, I'm currently in the process of purchasing my first home, and next week I start my dream job as a Teaching Assistant in a special educational needs school.

So I've decided to relaunch my project. A website where you can anonymously submit your mental health story, in the form of poetry, short stories, song lyrics, or simply anything that expresses you.

www.mindofourown.co.uk

Edited August 27, 20196 yr by MancWanderer

On 08/12/2022 at 22:10, only1swanny said:

We had fun trying to get lad to eat Brocolli yesterday, full on meltdown and screaming the house down.. 

One of the best quotes I've heard about eating habits was a midwife when Mrs Swanny was pregnant with hyperemesis. 

"kids are like parasites.. they will eat what they need to, you only need to worry when they won't eat anything at all".

I’m not entirely sure why you’d want to cajole a kid into eating something he obviously didn’t want to eat. There’s shitloads of stuff kids don’t eat that given time and maturity they’ll happily eat. 

53 minutes ago, MickyD said:

I’m not entirely sure why you’d want to cajole a kid into eating something he obviously didn’t want to eat. There’s shitloads of stuff kids don’t eat that given time and maturity they’ll happily eat. 

He ate them last week, and liked them... this week... Nope.. 

Said he always hated brocolli and it went from there.. My kids are quite good eaters and will try things, always make them something else if not (usually sausage and beans) the full meltdown came from him denying he had eaten them.

 

So my lad has stabilised a bit and phoned me up but I could tell they'd given him antipsychotics and Clonazepam or similar as he was dopey and slurring his words, but what he said messed me up a bit.

He told me he loves me, apologised for the latest batch of threats etc and asked if he could come to stay with us for Christmas. I had no choice but refuse him as he needs to be fully assessed, talk to the shrink, get a script and the social workers need to sort him out as well as deal with the flat he's just trashed - but more than anything he needs to get his head as right as possible before he comes out - and the missus is still scared of him even though he's not violent and the threats are desperate and empty.

Problem is I know he'll be spending Xmas on a psychiatric ward 200 miles away with no family around him and already feeling full of regret over what's going on in his life. He's frequently used emotional blackmail to manipulate situations in the past, but that doesn't in any way ameliorate me feeling shit about knowing my own son is fucked up and deeply miserable through no fault of his own - and the fact that it's Xmas just makes it worse. I'll be OK but it's shit.

 

Id say theres 3 questions

Whats best you you, his mum and him

From my vantage point, the answer to all 3 is the same and it doesnt involve him spending christmas at home

3 hours ago, Wanderlust said:

So my lad has stabilised a bit and phoned me up but I could tell they'd given him antipsychotics and Clonazepam or similar as he was dopey and slurring his words, but what he said messed me up a bit.

He told me he loves me, apologised for the latest batch of threats etc and asked if he could come to stay with us for Christmas. I had no choice but refuse him as he needs to be fully assessed, talk to the shrink, get a script and the social workers need to sort him out as well as deal with the flat he's just trashed - but more than anything he needs to get his head as right as possible before he comes out - and the missus is still scared of him even though he's not violent and the threats are desperate and empty.

Problem is I know he'll be spending Xmas on a psychiatric ward 200 miles away with no family around him and already feeling full of regret over what's going on in his life. He's frequently used emotional blackmail to manipulate situations in the past, but that doesn't in any way ameliorate me feeling shit about knowing my own son is fucked up and deeply miserable through no fault of his own - and the fact that it's Xmas just makes it worse. I'll be OK but it's shit.

 

My other half works in occupational therapy 

I'll ask if there's anything that maybe could be done but isn't for whatever reason

I understand what you mean when you say it's not his fault, but at the same time you describe him as deliberately using emotional blackmail- that it is his fault.

Can't begin to imagine how it feels for you, but remember it's not your fault neither.

57 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

I understand what you mean when you say it's not his fault, but at the same time you describe him as deliberately using emotional blackmail- that it is his fault.

Can't begin to imagine how it feels for you, but remember it's not your fault neither.

Does it not depend on your understanding of the word deliberate

If your brain is telling you to do stuff and you are so fucked up you cant dufferentiate right from wrong, is that deliberate?

3 hours ago, Casino said:

Does it not depend on your understanding of the word deliberate

If your brain is telling you to do stuff and you are so fucked up you cant dufferentiate right from wrong, is that deliberate?

Nail on head.

He can be an absolute cunt when he's hearing voices and desperate.

15 hours ago, Casino said:

Does it not depend on your understanding of the word deliberate

If your brain is telling you to do stuff and you are so fucked up you cant dufferentiate right from wrong, is that deliberate?

Maybe, yes. Point still stands: it's not his dad's fault neither and he has to give himself a break too.

Right was not sure if to post this on here but think I should. Got a call last week that lad I know took his own life. He was a friend but not a close mate, see him once a year at Uni reunion. 
He got divorced a couple of years ago but seemed ok with that, 2 lads both qualified doctors, just become a grandad, taken early retirement and very well off , mortgage all paid off. 
Been pretty shocked about this since I was told. 
If anyone ever feels like he must have please talk to someone. 

7 minutes ago, Ani said:

Right was not sure if to post this on here but think I should. Got a call last week that lad I know took his own life. He was a friend but not a close mate, see him once a year at Uni reunion. 
He got divorced a couple of years ago but seemed ok with that, 2 lads both qualified doctors, just become a grandad, taken early retirement and very well off , mortgage all paid off. 
Been pretty shocked about this since I was told. 
If anyone ever feels like he must have please talk to someone. 

Its an area of life nobody will ever understand. Absolutely baffling but all too common the same.

So sad

Well, Mr Black Dog wrapped himself round my shoulders yesterday. 

Not been able to drive for almost 2 months now. Another 5 weeks minimum still to go.

Barely earned a penny in that time, and having to rely on family to help at weekends. 

Surgery should have been done weeks ago but fuck ups and cancellations keep delaying it.

Struggling to walk down my own garden safely let alone prune someone's bushes accurately. 

Fucked off with it all now to say the least.

Bastard thumb doesn't work yet neither. 

Edited December 20, 20223 yr by Tonge moor green jacket

10 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Well, Mr Black Dog wrapped himself round my shoulders yesterday. 

Not been able to drive for almost 2 months now. Another 5 weeks minimum still to go.

Barely earned a penny in that time, and having to rely on family to help at weekends. 

Surgery should have been done weeks ago but fuck ups and cancellations keep delaying it.

Struggling to walk down my own garden safely let alone prune someone's bushes accurately. 

Fucked off with it all now to say the least.

Bastard thumb doesn't work yet neither. 

Keep your head up the best you can mate. Remember the black dog is only wrapped round you, it won't be there for long hopefully. 

2 hours ago, gonzo said:

Its an area of life nobody will ever understand. Absolutely baffling but all too common the same.

So sad

I think the  biggest shock here as been the specific lad, would have been way down my list of 'likelys' although turns out he had issues in the past including being talked down from a ledge a few months ago. 

39 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Well, Mr Black Dog wrapped himself round my shoulders yesterday. 

Not been able to drive for almost 2 months now. Another 5 weeks minimum still to go.

Barely earned a penny in that time, and having to rely on family to help at weekends. 

Surgery should have been done weeks ago but fuck ups and cancellations keep delaying it.

Struggling to walk down my own garden safely let alone prune someone's bushes accurately. 

Fucked off with it all now to say the least.

Bastard thumb doesn't work yet neither. 

Come for a brew tomorrow afternoon, or I can nip over for a brew if you want?

27 minutes ago, Ani said:

Keep your head up the best you can mate. Remember the black dog is only wrapped round you, it won't be there for long hopefully. 

Aye, he's there mostly in the morning, but occasionally calls back after lunch. Might be connected to blood sugar/epilepsy, dunno.

Daylight levels are the real bastard.

That's why I crave cold, sunny winter days rather than the perennial greyness of modern winters.

2 minutes ago, only1swanny said:

Come for a brew tomorrow afternoon, or I can nip over for a brew if you want?

I've got to pop round to Tesco in the afternoon, so I'll call in tomorrow if that's OK?

Cheers.

9 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

I've got to pop round to Tesco in the afternoon, so I'll call in tomorrow if that's OK?

Cheers.

Drop me a text and make sure I'm back in, Gotta take the wife and monster-in-law to costco in the morning. 

Always welcome round, I'd say same to anyone in a bad place

3 minutes ago, only1swanny said:

Drop me a text and make sure I'm back in, Gotta take the wife and monster-in-law to costco in the morning. 

Always welcome round, I'd say same to anyone in a bad place

Will do.

5 hours ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Well, Mr Black Dog wrapped himself round my shoulders yesterday. 

Not been able to drive for almost 2 months now. Another 5 weeks minimum still to go.

Barely earned a penny in that time, and having to rely on family to help at weekends. 

Surgery should have been done weeks ago but fuck ups and cancellations keep delaying it.

Struggling to walk down my own garden safely let alone prune someone's bushes accurately. 

Fucked off with it all now to say the least.

Bastard thumb doesn't work yet neither. 

Keep your pecker up pal.

5 hours ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

Aye, he's there mostly in the morning, but occasionally calls back after lunch. Might be connected to blood sugar/epilepsy, dunno.

Daylight levels are the real bastard.

That's why I crave cold, sunny winter days rather than the perennial greyness of modern winters.

Epilepsy is massively connected to the black dog. Unfortunately they tend to go hand in hand. Pathways in the brain and all that. Will try to pop in at some point when I’m across to Bolton

Winter solstice today.  Good news for those affected by the dark days.

14 hours ago, MancWanderer said:

Epilepsy is massively connected to the black dog. Unfortunately they tend to go hand in hand. Pathways in the brain and all that. Will try to pop in at some point when I’m across to Bolton

My lad was diagnosed with epilepsy in the last few weeks after several months of seizures which I am absolutely convinced was linked to his stress and anxiety from moving down south.

2 hours ago, DazBob said:

Winter solstice today.  Good news for those affected by the dark days.

Do any women do naked dancing for this. Is it worth bobbing out?

27 minutes ago, tomski said:

Do any women do naked dancing for this. Is it worth bobbing out?

Think you've just missed them pal.