floyd

A crossbar's pretty vital.

I think you mean inadvisable.

Better than your Spanish I imagine. It's a major European city. You'll be fine. However, if you want to indulge try: Dos cervezas por favor (Doss servethas pour fab or) Two beers please. Donde es los servicios? (Dondy ess loss servithios?) Where are the toilets? Muy guapo! (Moy wappo!) Very Nice! Gracias (Grathias) Thank you! Cuanto cuesta? (Quanto questa?) How much? La cuenta por favor (la quenta pour fabor) The bill, please.

Is he using Cashley's?

Here: http://www.holidaycityeurope.com/florida-norte-madrid/index.htm

Walking home through the town centre one night I saw a bloke and his missus having a good old row on Bradshawgate. This was about 20 years ago and about 11.30 at night, so no-one else around. Anyway the argument got more heated and he slapped this girl across the face. She screamed "c*nt!" at him and punched him square on the nose. He hit the deck like a sack of shit whilst holding his face. She spat on him and then turned and left him in his own pool of snot and blood.

Or Fistino Arsefilla (Couldn't think of one for myself so thought I'd help yours along)

....or Two Eagles on their perch. One says to the other "can you smell fish?" ....or One snowman turns to the other and says "can you smell carrots?"

Problem is he doesn't know how to cook chicken. Fortunately for him, his NAN DOes

What's Brown and sticky? A stick.

That, my friend, is a work of genius (or a deviant)

Y'see! Idiot Wind (nearly) agrees with me! Hang on...........................

Be reet!

You're supposed to read the post, not eat it. Wha's wrang wi tha'?

Man U. 88 Arse 80 Chelsk 72 City 70 ========= Spuds 70 Bolton 61 Sunds 56 ========= Scouse 48 Barcodes 47 F'lam 46 Villa 46 Stoke 44 Toffees 43 Brum 40 'Pool 38 'Burn 38 Wolves 38 ========= Brom 38 WHam 36 Wigan 33

Let's Fist again - Chubby Fucker Bands - Fister Sledge - Shakespeare's Fister - The Nolan Fisters

Not yet found an animal I wouldn't eat. There's been a few I wouldn't eat again, though. Horse, turtle and dog.

I'm on K856 Down ?250 a month They're saying I have an underpayment coming next year too. I switched from Company Car to personal car and back over the last two years and I'm fucked if I can get them to tell me what's wrong. The bastards.

I have 7 suits and umpteen ties. I'm getting my money's worth. If you wear t-shirt and jeans for work, how do you know when it's the weekend?

I meant to say don't put the hot water bottle directly onto the leg as it will burn. Wrap it in a tea towel to take the edge off.

I've had shin splints with marathon training. Make sure you rest too. The insoles are a good idea but don't suit everyone.

Okay here goes. Shin splints are a coverall name for a variety of lower leg injuries which are commonly caused by repeated impact on the joints and the tibia and fibula (leg bones) Rest is best, but there are two ways of treating the symptoms: 1. T.E.N.S. machine http://www.patient.co.uk/health/TENS-Machines.htm which stimulates the area to increase blood flow and therefore injury recovery time. A visit to the Physio should sort that out (about ?30 for an hours session but make sure you discuss all your symptoms) 2. Contrast Bathing. Get a bag of ice cubes and a hot water bottle (filled with hot water). Place the ice bag on your shin for five minutes then switch to the hot water bottle. You need to ice thrice and heat twice in a session. Do this twice a day for a week. The ice will reduce the swelling and the heat will stimulate blood flow and promote recovery. Ibuprofen will help too. Good luck

Used to throw these the length of the 'Tree Field' on Elgin Street when I was a kid! I noticed the other day, whilst passing through, that some retard at the council has built a playground at one end, now. They may as well have painted targets on the little f*ckers!

Very sad day. I hope he's enjoying a cig and a pint with St Peter now.

I have a great picture of the Pike sitting above the clouds but don't know how to post pictures on here.