anewman Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 aint hadd one since wednesday, is that healthy?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWanderer1958 Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 God pity the porcelaine when it does happen.............. Check No Balls recipe thread, she must have something to sort you out....... If not dig it out with a pencil....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 sign of bad aids mate sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maje Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 (edited) not good Edited April 15, 2012 by maje Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted April 15, 2012 Members Share Posted April 15, 2012 I can get you an enema from work, unfortunately you'd have to insert it yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 God pity the porcelaine when it does happen.............. Check No Balls recipe thread, she must have something to sort you out....... If not dig it out with a pencil....... I'm no help with that sort of thing as I am lucky enough to pay a visit every morning & have never had a problem. Though, I would advise get some fibre in your diet if it's lacking or get a pencil. If that doesn't help, it's probably bad aids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWanderer1958 Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 What about that kale bollocks the metrosexuals eat................................... If not light a banger and stick that up there, that should shift it.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted April 15, 2012 Members Share Posted April 15, 2012 If you do get too bunged up, it can come out of your mouth ITK FACT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pato Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 10 pints of Guiness , a curry and pop a bog roll in the fridge for the morning job sorted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny G Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 get some chan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazza Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 If you do get too bunged up, it can come out of your mouth ITK FACT! i know a few people like that(usually happens when they talk) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I can get you an enema from work, unfortunately you'd have to insert it yourself space docking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anewman Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 get some chan last time i got some you hoovered it all up, danny dyson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrp Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 3 times a day without fail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no balls Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 space docking? Stop it, now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Carlos Posted April 15, 2012 Moderators Share Posted April 15, 2012 If I drink grapefruit juice or eat bran flakes, my nipsy is twitching like a rabbit's nose in a couple of hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bolton_blondie Posted April 15, 2012 Members Share Posted April 15, 2012 space docking? i should never have googled that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Casino Posted April 15, 2012 Moderators Share Posted April 15, 2012 anewman, officially full of shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L/H White Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 3 times a day without fail same here. Glass of pure orange, i'll be on the shitter within 30 minutes. never fails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youri McAnespie Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) Advice for anyone who has been or is 'bunged up' forget all the 10 pints of Guinness and a Ruby bollocks. Being full of shit ain't good - it basically means toxins are being re-absorbed into your bloodstream. Get to the chemist (any chemist - they all stock it behind the counter, just not on open shelves), ask for a bottle of LACTULOSE, they sell it over the counter and it's about ?3 to ?5 for a bottle. They'll probably ask you the usual shit (no pun intended); "Is it for yourself? Have you used it before? Are you on any other medication?" It's simpler to lie - say it's for your Grandma/Grandad or your old man, say they have used it before and apart from a daily aspirin they aren't on any other medications. Get close by to a shitter and neck a couple of capfuls (fuck the label instructions) - within about half an hour you'll be doing the the best bit of 'spring cleaning' in years - it absorbs water into your colon so it's like pissing out of your arse, no matter how egg-bound you are. It's harmless stuff as well BTW unless you go absolutely daft with it - then you could become dehydrated. Edited April 17, 2012 by Youri McAnespie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walkden26 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) About 3 years ago I had the same problem. I took a lax whilst I was decorating my brothers new flat thinking once it hits i'll be right just drop the monster their as no one was in. The time came and fuck me It wasn't gonna hold back. I went to the shitter to notice there was no shit wrap and that the water had been turned off hence empty toilet. The 3 mile drive to my parents house was one of the most horrific of my life. Morale of the story - don't take a lax without preparing the facilities beforehand. Edited April 17, 2012 by Walkden26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 we have got some of that lactose stuff for our baby,bit constipated was the wee mite...does the trick i tell you,his nappy looked like a farmers welly after taking that stuff. now i enjoy as do most blokes a good sit on the throne,its actually the only place i feel safe from the world. so next time the wifes away for the weekend,im gonna lock the door,get 40 cans in a nail a full bottle of lactose and spend a full 48 hours cleansing my insides.... sounds a top weekend to me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiffs Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 About 3 years ago I had the same problem. I took a lax whilst I was decorating my brothers new flat thinking once it hits i'll be right just drop the monster their as no one was in. The time came and fuck me It wasn't gonna hold back. I went to the shitter to notice there was no shit wrap and that the water had been turned off hence empty toilet. The 3 mile drive to my parents house was one of the most horrific of my life. Morale of the story - don't take a lax without preparing the facilities beforehand. Did you hold it in or splatter mud in your pants? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little whitt Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 had a indian bout 2 years back had the morning after brad pitt all was fine.. set off for work could feel brad pitt the 2nd on its way O FUCK stuck in traffic was working near a mates new house i was working on at the time i had the keys to.. in i go just in time good bog filler a good 2 flusher later i could hear this driping when down there it was driping throu the ceiling bog was not plumbed in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walkden26 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Did you hold it in or splatter mud in your pants? Managed to hold but trying to wip the boxers down in the shitter without unleashing the fury was a very difficult task. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.