Slow news day? The real deal? End of the world? 
 

They’re saying it probably came from an animal, has Somebody been shagging monkeys again? 

5 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Who the fuck are your customers 😁

As I say, if you have a dog, your house smells of dog. You might not think it does, but lordy it wiffs. Muddy, wet mutts.

Dogs and their owners. Dirty as. 

Money is money. A good, quick payer.

Our cat is a horrible shit plenty of times I thought of taking it for a drive somewhere 

5 minutes ago, miamiwhite said:

Got to disagree here mate......did a Klinnsman style celebration dive years ago in a cup semi final on Walkers pitch.....straight into a pile of dog shit...fuck me ,that was horrific and couldn't smell anything but dog shit for the next 5 years when I was clouting bing.

I feel your pain there.

Dog or cat its horrendous. Towards the end of my time with bmbc, my colleague was knocking on a bit, so I'd leave him on the mower all day, and take up the strimmer. 

Bad enough when taking turns, but day after day, hitting animal turds at around 8000rpm, would leave significant splatter patterns on the clothing and a reek to match.

Getting a face full was a particular highlight. 

10 minutes ago, Not in Crawley said:

Who the fuck are your customers 😁

As I say, if you have a dog, your house smells of dog. You might not think it does, but lordy it wiffs. Muddy, wet mutts.

Dogs and their owners. Dirty as. 

Very rare we agree Jezza, but you're spot on here. Dog owners have their faces and balls licked constantly by harassing hounds that have been rolling in cow pat for hours.

11 minutes ago, miamiwhite said:

Got to disagree here mate......did a Klinnsman style celebration dive years ago in a cup semi final on Walkers pitch.....straight into a pile of dog shit...fuck me ,that was horrific and couldn't smell anything but dog shit for the next 5 years when I was clouting bing.

Sums cat owners up. Miami admits celebrating a semi. 

Dogs can lick pedigree chum off your gonads .

Cats have got spiky tongues

2 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

I feel your pain there.

Dog or cat its horrendous. Towards the end of my time with bmbc, my colleague was knocking on a bit, so I'd leave him on the mower all day, and take up the strimmer. 

Bad enough when taking turns, but day after day, hitting animal turds at around 8000rpm, would leave significant splatter patterns on the clothing and a reek to match.

Getting a face full was a particular highlight. 

Honestly mate, it was a nightmare 😄 😷 🤒 🤢 🤮 

There's a thesis suggesting we'd still be scratting around for berries and rats, and on the menu for wolves if we hadn't cultivated a symbiotic relationship with canines.

They assisted us immeasurably in hunting bigger prey, we adapted new team-based techniques in hunting after observing them hunt. As well as these in advancements in hunting, dogs were invaluable in domesticating animals - both leading to more time to think and more protein and essential amino acids to promote brain growth - leading to men on the moon, covid vaccinations in ten months and portable pornography for as little as sixty quid and £10 a month...

The one time cats were asked to step up to the plate, during The Bubonic Plague they CBA - most probably too busy shitting in the likes of thine Nehbor' of Nott Ine Crawlee's Turnip patch.

1 minute ago, Ani said:

Sums cat owners up. Miami admits celebrating a semi. 

You wouldn't ever know re playing in a semi final old man.

Just now, Youri McAnespie said:

There's a thesis suggesting we'd still be scratting around for berries and rats, and on the menu for wolves if we hadn't cultivated a symbiotic relationship with canines.

They assisted us immeasurably in hunting bigger prey, we adapted new team-based techniques in hunting after observing them hunt. As well as these in advancements in hunting, dogs were invaluable in domesticating animals - both leading to more time to think and more protein and essential amino acids to promote brain growth - leading to men on the moon, covid vaccinations in ten months and portable pornography for as little as sixty quid and £10 a month...

The one time cats were asked to step up to the plate, during The Bubonic Plague they CBA - most probably too busy shitting in the likes of thine Nehbor' of Nott Ine Crawlee's Turnip patch.

remind me of the classic conversation on here please pal re white dog shit.....yes WHITE DOG SHIT.

9 minutes ago, radcliffewhite1 said:

Our cat is a horrible shit plenty of times I thought of taking it for a drive somewhere 

 Crawley will have it the weirdo. 

 

White dogshit?

Sommat to do with putting lime in dogfood to kill off nasties.

Probably banned due to the bastards in Brussels.

We'll soon reclaim our divine right for our English streets to be littered with white dog eggs.

GSTQ.

Edited January 14, 20215 yr by Youri McAnespie

3 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

I feel your pain there.

Dog or cat its horrendous. Towards the end of my time with bmbc, my colleague was knocking on a bit, so I'd leave him on the mower all day, and take up the strimmer. 

Bad enough when taking turns, but day after day, hitting animal turds at around 8000rpm, would leave significant splatter patterns on the clothing and a reek to match.

Getting a face full was a particular highlight. 

My ex wife's mum had a pet tortoise, it was about 50 yrs old . She'd drilled a hole into an overlapping bit of its shell years ago, when she was a kid. 

They put a long length of thin rope through the hole and let it roam through the back garden, through trees and bushes in summer for hours.

One day my ex's younger brother was mowing the lawn, he went over the rope, it got caught in the blades and flung the tortoise around the trees like something out of a cartoon. It survived 

4 minutes ago, miamiwhite said:

You wouldn't ever know re playing in a semi final old man.

Probably would not remember it. Was more of a finals man myself  😘

 

3 minutes ago, Youri McAnespie said:

Sommat to do with putting lime in dogfood to kill off nasties.

Probably banned due to the bastards in Brussels.

We'll soon reclaim our divine right for our English streets to be littered with white dog eggs.

GSTQ.

Not marrowbone then?

Kinell, should put sand in as well and have them shitting concrete. 

2 minutes ago, peelyfeet said:

My ex wife's mum had a pet tortoise, it was about 50 yrs old . She'd drilled a hole into an overlapping bit of its shell years ago, when she was a kid. 

They put a long length of thin rope through the hole and let it roam through the back garden, through trees and bushes in summer for hours.

One day my ex's younger brother was mowing the lawn, he went over the rope, it got caught in the blades and flung the tortoise around the trees like something out of a cartoon. It survived 

My mate still believes that his tortoise ran away.

Thicker than a whale omelette 

3 minutes ago, peelyfeet said:

My ex wife's mum had a pet tortoise, it was about 50 yrs old . She'd drilled a hole into an overlapping bit of its shell years ago, when she was a kid. 

They put a long length of thin rope through the hole and let it roam through the back garden, through trees and bushes in summer for hours.

One day my ex's younger brother was mowing the lawn, he went over the rope, it got caught in the blades and flung the tortoise around the trees like something out of a cartoon. It survived 

Brilliant. 

Did the rope not finally sever, flinging it away like odd-jobs hat?

I like cats and dogs.

Our dog is a dickhead but we love the litter shit.

We have always had cats before the pooch came along and we are getting a kitten in a month or so, Christ knows how that is going to work with a batshit crazy dachshund. 

My youngest has two hamsters too and they are really cute.

Oh and fish too.

Got a dog and cats , IMHO the best , stable and non demanding dogs are those brought up as a pup with adult cats

they very quickly learn that they are at the bottom of the pile

the cats do the training for you and you dont have a snappy little shit of an animal to train

cats just kick the shit out of them and they learn their place

1 minute ago, Winchester White said:

I like cats and dogs.

Our dog is a dickhead but we love the litter shit.

We have always had cats before the pooch came along and we are getting a kitten in a month or so, Christ knows how that is going to work with a batshit crazy dachshund. 

My youngest has two hamsters too and they are really cute.

Oh and fish too.

 

6 minutes ago, deane koontz said:

 

😆

Don't you just love autocorrect!? 😳

18 minutes ago, Ani said:

Probably would not remember it. Was more of a finals man myself  😘

 

Only thing which was final in your life pal was your divorce 😉 

Me mum’s been done

Seems strange that those who have had it are being vaccinated, but I read that the protection is only for 4 months (?)

Better safe than sorry

6 minutes ago, boltondiver said:

Me mum’s been done

Seems strange that those who have had it are being vaccinated, but I read that the protection is only for 4 months (?)

Better safe than sorry

Protection from vac is 4 months or immunity following infection?

5 minutes ago, boltondiver said:

Me mum’s been done

Seems strange that those who have had it are being vaccinated, but I read that the protection is only for 4 months (?)

Better safe than sorry

They've slipped the reinfection possibilities out as 5 months protection is a good thing.

Herd immunity a pipe dream and vaccines likely to be yearly like flu. Happy days