Assisted dying

[gonzo]

This is quite a depressing thread.

I thought I'd cheer the mood with a clip of this lass generally walking about in skimpy clothing.

If you get chance spend half hour scrolling through her YouTube shorts.

Christ on a bike.

 

 

 

 

[Tonge moor green jacket]

Can I play that safely, or do I need to make sure there are no other folk around?

[Spider]

My mum died in a very confused and baffled state. I hated that she went so quickly but given the alternative of months/years of suffering, confusion and undignified sanitary needs, it was a blessing all round.

doesn’t mean I wished for it, but she’d have hated being a cabbage and making everyone around her suffer too.

Assisted dying should be available. It can be easily managed politically, emotionally and practically.

We’d all like the power of choice, and the option to say and do all the things we want before slipping peacefully away to a heaven where BWFC are just about to win their 27th champions league in a row.

Total no brainer.

[batton carrier]

Seen my uncle go with dementia.It was awful he suffered for years,he didn't know his wife or kids and even introduced his wife on a visit to his care home to his new girlfriend who was another resident. 

His wife passed before him and the staff brought him to the funeral.he was an empty shell. He sat emotionless throughout until they projected really old photos of his wedding etc. Tears then rolled down his face and he tried to speak. It was by far the saddest thing I have seen . That was the last time I saw him but he did another year 

He was a top bloke a real lad in his day which probably explains him copping off in the home. We all loved him.

No way would he have wanted to go that way.Worked hard all his life .He was very sensible with money and had a decent pot and a nice house and it all went on care. Hardly anything left for the grandkids that he loved . The  state is fucking ruthless.

No way do I want my loved ones going through that. Not if I can help it anyway.

[Dimron]

I want to last until my nineties and die of gunshot wounds from the jealous boyfriend of an 18 year old Nymphomaniac

[Underpants]

On 15/08/2024 at 23:19, Casino said:

Check out this episode of Tom Swarbrick on Global Player - https://www.globalplayer.com/catchup/lbc/uk/episodes/BUqvuX5LRDiLDeqyohJdcMe1d/

Dunno if that works, but if youve an hour to spare check it out from 2 hrs in

Its a hot topc and i think im in favour

I've not listened to it, but I will.

I reckon I'm in favour. But it's a minefield. I've heard 6 months to live being thrown around. Unfortunately there will be folk with unscrupulous and selfish motives involved when decisions need to be made. The Bill will have to be near as dam it watertight to keep these people out. Rather than having wide ranging criteria I'm thinking it will have be a narrow one with zero ambiguity. Try not to make it complicated. It will be no fun playing God. 

 

 

[DirtySanchez]

9 hours ago, Underpants said:

I've not listened to it, but I will.

I reckon I'm in favour. But it's a minefield. I've heard 6 months to live being thrown around. Unfortunately there will be folk with unscrupulous and selfish motives involved when decisions need to be made. The Bill will have to be near as dam it watertight to keep these people out. Rather than having wide ranging criteria I'm thinking it will have be a narrow one with zero ambiguity. Try not to make it complicated. It will be no fun playing God. 

 

 

May end up with folk going to court to be allowed for a loved one to die, if they have been denied it by Drs, as a reversal of folk going to court to keep a loved one alive 

[Dimron]

Having sat with someone with terminal stomach cancer, when they tell you "I wish there was an off-switch" and the Macmillan nurse has already told you he has less than a week to go... I know what the right thing is

[bolton_blondie]

It’s such a privilege to be part of someone’s death at home. To care for them, keep them comfortable and surrounded by family. There has been many a time I have sat in my car and had a little cry afterwards. 

I do agreed with it also. We can have EOL patients that go on on and on and on. Usually the younger ones as their bodies are fitter. It’s heartbreaking. 

[MancWanderer]

My Dad spent the last 4 weeks of his life in Bolton Royal. First 2 weeks he was awake but with raging dementia. Slipped into unconsciousness for the last 2 weeks and the last few days he was basically on fluids only. At the time my mum said that if he was a dog we could at least take him to the vets and end it all rather than the protracted end that was hard for everyone and was never going to end up with a positive outcome. Harsh but I have to agree despite who he was

[kent_white]

12 minutes ago, bolton_blondie said:

It’s such a privilege to be part of someone’s death at home. To care for them, keep them comfortable and surrounded by family. There has been many a time I have sat in my car and had a little cry afterwards. 

I do agreed with it also. We can have EOL patients that go on on and on and on. Usually the younger ones as their bodies are fitter. It’s heartbreaking. 

I was a student on a ward once and I sat through the last 48 hours or so of a woman in her 80's dying in agony. Poorly controlled pain and clearly distressed. 

She was Irish and a devout catholic and had been all her life. I did what I could - which is reality was very little (mouth care, turns, trying to keep her clean and as dignified as I could. 

She was in and out of consciousness but looked me straight in the eyes and said words along the lines of 'the devil can have my soul right now if he can put me out of my misery'. I've never felt so completely useless in my entire life. And I'll never forget that. 

I think we were still giving her O2 and fluids at this point too. 

We can't carry on like that. It's bloody cruel. She was literally pleading to die. 

It's heartbreaking.

[Tonge moor green jacket]

Stuff like that must fuck with your head.

Some more than others.

I know a lass who was in the thick of covid patients dying. Not quite the same, but such was the suffering and ultimately death, she suffered afterwards- presumably something akin to PTSD.

In the end got out of that part of nursing and into something else. Part time too iirc.

Edited August 20, 2024 by Tonge moor green jacket

[gonzo]

2 hours ago, bolton_blondie said:

It’s such a privilege to be part of someone’s death at home. To care for them, keep them comfortable and surrounded by family. There has been many a time I have sat in my car and had a little cry afterwards. 

I do agreed with it also. We can have EOL patients that go on on and on and on. Usually the younger ones as their bodies are fitter. It’s heartbreaking. 

Mum worked at the hospice and then Marie Curie for the last 40 years of her life.

She became part of families life for that short spell at probably any families moat vulnerable time.

Different level of people.

(Stark raving lunatic in her own time like )

 

[Dimron]

2 hours ago, kent_white said:

I was a student on a ward once and I sat through the last 48 hours or so of a woman in her 80's dying in agony. Poorly controlled pain and clearly distressed. 

She was Irish and a devout catholic and had been all her life. I did what I could - which is reality was very little (mouth care, turns, trying to keep her clean and as dignified as I could. 

She was in and out of consciousness but looked me straight in the eyes and said words along the lines of 'the devil can have my soul right now if he can put me out of my misery'. I've never felt so completely useless in my entire life. And I'll never forget that. 

I think we were still giving her O2 and fluids at this point too. 

We can't carry on like that. It's bloody cruel. She was literally pleading to die. 

It's heartbreaking.

Agreed... in my case I know he was asking me to put a pillow over his face but I didn't have the bottle

[batton carrier]

My mum spent the last 36 hrs of her life (it felt like a lot longer) in Wigan and Leigh hospice.

I have never experienced such kindness from human beings as I did during that time.

 

[Tonge moor green jacket]

A slightly different twist on the discussion:

My grandad was brought to Bolton and got a council flat a while after we lost my nan.

For a while all was good, but then he started to make life difficult for my folks.

Basically lonely etc.

In the end he went into a home, where there was company, nurses etc and he was a changed chap.

Then he started complaining again and giving my dad grief, saying he wanted to die etc. My dad snapped and told him to get on with it then.

The next morning, my grandad was found dead, still holding a photograph of my nan from years before.

It was as if he wanted permission to "go" and was simply fed up of life.

Never knew how that impacted my dad.

If people can have such deep, inner feelings and emotions, then by the fuck we should respect a decision from an individual to prevent their suffering if it comes down to it.

[Alf Hartigan]

So many different things can affect your mental health. Talking to friends and family can be massive. But talking to a stranger should never be underestimated. 

[frank_spencer]

10 minutes ago, Tonge moor green jacket said:

A slightly different twist on the discussion:

My grandad was brought to Bolton and got a council flat a while after we lost my nan.

For a while all was good, but then he started to make life difficult for my folks.

Basically lonely etc.

In the end he went into a home, where there was company, nurses etc and he was a changed chap.

Then he started complaining again and giving my dad grief, saying he wanted to die etc. My dad snapped and told him to get on with it then.

The next morning, my grandad was found dead, still holding a photograph of my nan from years before.

It was as if he wanted permission to "go" and was simply fed up of life.

Never knew how that impacted my dad.

If people can have such deep, inner feelings and emotions, then by the fuck we should respect a decision from an individual to prevent their suffering if it comes down to it.

My best mate had his mum pass away from cancer just after the pandemic, he (and his step dad) was told by the nurses in the hospice to give his mum permission to pass away. Once they'd done that she died the next day.

[kent_white]

1 hour ago, Dimron said:

Agreed... in my case I know he was asking me to put a pillow over his face but I didn't have the bottle

Sorry to hear that mate. And you shouldn't have to be in that position. And you shouldn't have to have that on your conscience. 

There has to be a better way eh?

[Dimron]

Just now, kent_white said:

Sorry to hear that mate. And you shouldn't have to be in that position. And you shouldn't have to have that on your conscience. 

There has to be a better way eh?

There certainly has to be... I moved the discussion on after reminding him that our laws don't allow off switches and reminded him I wasn't leaving... it doesn't actually weigh heavy on my conscience but as you say, there has to be a better way.

[Tonge moor green jacket]

10 hours ago, frank_spencer said:

My best mate had his mum pass away from cancer just after the pandemic, he (and his step dad) was told by the nurses in the hospice to give his mum permission to pass away. Once they'd done that she died the next day.

Makes sense. 

Not heard of that type of thing before, but I suppose that's the experience gained by nurses.

Must be a difficult thing to do as a son (or any family member), but if the patient says they want the pain to go away and it's done in the right way (again use the staff experience), then it may lessen the guilt and ultimately bring an inner peace to the family.